Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 14

"Explanations and misunderstandings, let me go."

JUNGKOOK'S POV

He smiled, ear to ear, and pulled her in his embrace, "I'll search for you". Her heart sank in despair. She felt herself as a sadist. She could only think of herself as cruel.

He wrapped his hands around her shoulders, resting his head on them. She scoffed, pushing him away and stared at him with eyes filled with guilt. "What if there are no ways to reach me?"

His eyes narrowed and shoulders hunched, as he walked towards her, with small steps, "W-What do you mean?"

"You very well know what I mean."

He clenched his jaws, walking closer to her and held the shoulders tightly, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?!"

She pushed him by his chest and dropped her sight at her feet, "Everything is wrong with me."

The tears fell, without giving her a chance to even hold them back. Without thinking about anything she hugged him tightly, sobbing like a kid, as if her life depended on it.

He caressed her hair, as soft as feather, choking upon his own tears. "I am dying Jungkook."

His eyes widened, breath hitched, world stopped. He pushed her, eyes filled with fresh tears, wanting to hear her say it's a lie. "I have-I have stage 5 blood c-cancer."

He shook his head, tears pooling down those doe eyes, "S-Stop joking." He walked back, with tired, painful steps until his back hit the railing, "You can't". He sobbed.

"I am n-not joking Kookie. I found out about it 3 d-days ago. You are the first person to k-know this."

"S-say it's a l-lie. Say that you are joking."

She shook her head in denial, walking closer to her best friend. "P-Please Yumi, say its a l-lie", she pulled him in her embrace as he hugged her back tightly, his hot breaths hitting her neck. His sobs filled the place. He was crying like a pathetic.

Her own tears betrayed her seeing him so weak. She rubbed his back consoling him while her own tears failed to stop, "D-Don't cry Koo, I know you are s-strong." He shook his head vigorously, digging his chin on her shoulder, "I am nothing without you. Please don't do this to me."

"J-Jungkook I can't b-breathe, leave me", she tried to lighten up the atmosphere. He broke the hug and look at her with droopy eyes, "S-Sorry, are you okay?"

She latched onto his shoulders, staring in his black orbs, "This is the worst punishment for Hoseok. I know he loves me... a lot. He might have never showed me but I know. After I am gone tell him to never cry, never miss me. Tell him that it was okay if he never showed me his love because his words made me feel safe. Tell him that I have always loved him no matter how he treated me. Tell him I have always thought about him until my last breath." He sighed, sad and scared. She smiled seeing his failing to maintain the eye contact, "Jungkook I love you so much so never cry for me after I am gone. Treat your wife the best. Always keep her happy. I am sad that I could never meet her."

He cupped her cheeks, eyes glistening with tears. Bending down to her level he pecked her forehead, "You remember when I told you I used to like a girl? It was you, whom I had once dreamed of living a life with. As the time passed I realised we were never meant to be. We both were different. It was just an attraction. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for giving me strength. Thank you for doing so much for me. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for being my best friend."

He left her, fishing out a red velvet box from his pocket. "Look what I bought for her as an anniversary present."

"I am so proud of you." She passed to him a gummy smile and he returned back to her his infamous bunny smile. His hands spread wide, eyes filled with sadness yet joy, as he waited for her to crash herself in his arms.

This is what it means to be busy?

"Y-Y/N?", he shot his head to face her crying state, heart clenching at the sight. "H-Honey", he called out to her, trying to hold her hand but she backed off. "Y-Y/N it's not like what you are thinking. I-I can explain-"

*SLAP*

"What will you explain? How are you planning to propose your first love? Shut the fuck up Jeon Jungkook. Enough of your nonsense. How could you c-cheat on me? Why did you play with me? What was I? I would have happily let you go but you chose to cheat on me with this characterless girl! You did not think once even about Subin. You-"

"God damn Y/N trust me I only love you-"

"IF YOU LOVED THEN HOW COULD YOU BRING HER IN BETWEEN US?!"

"Y/N listen to me-"

"SHUT THAT MOUTH JEON JUNGKOOK!", she glared at him, with tightened fists and teary eyes.

"D-Did you enjoy stealing what was m-mine?", she let out a shaky breath walking closer to her. Her heart broke when she saw her face. It was beautiful. Way more beautiful than her own. Her heart clenched with insecurities. She licked her lips as a tear rolled down her eyes, "Girls like you very well know how to s-seduce men. YOU WHORE!"

"SHIN Y/N I DARE YOU CALL HER THAT AGAIN!", he bellowed walking closer to both of them. Her eyes widened. Her own husband was fighting for someone else.

"W-What did you just s-say? You c-chose her over me?"

He shook his head as a lump formed in his tight throat, "N-No". He walked closer to her, trying to take her hand in his, "I DARE YOU TOUCH-"

She collapsed on the floor with a thud. His legs trembled and his surrounding felt fading away.

"No! Hey-Hey l-look at me. Y-Y/N look at me. I said open those damn eyes. Open them!... Slap me more, shout at me but don't do this to me!" He held her body, with tears never willing to stop. His heart blamed himself for this state of his wife, "Y-Yumi ask her to o-open her eyes", he sobbed looking at her tear stained face.

His fingers were shaking and lips quivered. The forehead was creased with sweat. "Y-Yumi ask her to s-stop playing", he whimpered as more tears fell off his eyes. She ran towards him. She blamed herself for their state. "J-Jungkook", she whispered latching onto his shoulder, "let's take her to the hospital."

Tears dripped from his face to hers as he clutched her tightly, closer to his heart. "Just wait. I still need you." He placed her on the passenger seat, like a feather. Her body was turning paler, just like his heart, "Y-Y/N I beg you, please open your e-eyes." He clutched her cold hands tightly in to his. His face was painted with tears, clothes were messy, eyes were blood shot red.

~

"HELP SOMEBODY HELP PLEASE", he screamed, running like a maniac in the hospital lobby. His best friend couldn't stop crying, she was the reason for this. That's what she thought.

"Let me go with her", he joined his hands as the nurses placed her on the stretcher, taking her to the emergency room, "She needs me. My wife n-needs me."

"Yumi?", he called out to her, staring at the locked doors of the room his wife was in. She ran towards him, embracing him in her warmth, "Say that she is gonna be okay. Say that she will not stop loving me." His voice was hoarse, tired and painful. His long wet lashes never got the time to dry themselves.

She chocked upon her silent tears, caressing his black messy hair. Her world collapsed seeing her best friend in such a miserable state. "I promise Jungkook, I'll make everything right."

"Shin Y/N's relatives?", the doctor broke the silence. He corpse like body suddenly got a current. He ran towards him, wiping his visible tears. "Y-Yes, I am her husband." The doctor nodded, fixing his coat.

"She had a heart attack."

His world sank. Deeper than the ocean. His heart ached to the extent that he felt himself disappearing. Yumi felt her soul slitting into pieces. She felt herself guilty. For her the news was worse than her approaching death.

"The sudden rise in her blood pressure and the extreme stress caused her this. She is mentally very weak right now."

"Is she gonna be o-okay?", he whispered, audible enough for the doctor to reply.

"Yes but make sure she doesn't stress. Do everything that can make her feel better."