Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 15

"You played well and I lost."

"Come with me Yumi, I am scared." His voice was laced with an unknown fear. He held his best friend's hand, walking like a scared kid, towards the room.

The door creaked open, as he looked back at his friend. "It's gonna be okay", she assured when her own heart was unsure. A pale figure sat on the bed, looking at the pouring rain as the rain drops pierced through her heart.

"Y/N?", a soft voice tongued out to her as she gobbled the lump holding back her tears.

Jungkook darted closer to her, sat on the stool kept near the bed, staring at her with hopeful eyes.

Silence was their medium of conversing with each other as the lady at the door stood there witnessing every detail with a heavy heart. A phone ring broke the silence, Yumi excused herself to answer the call from her husband.

"How-", the man was cut off by his own phone ringing as he sighed before answering it, " Eomma-"

"Jungkook where are you? Which room? How is Y/N? Is she awake? Why didn't you call us? Shall we come to the hospital-", he chuckled bitterly. The eyes turned glossy, his heart turned glossy. "Answer her", he handed her the phone, while she never agreed to make an eye contact with him.

"Eomma", she cried internally, trying to sound jolly on the outside. "D-Don't worry", he scoffed, shaking his head in disappointment. She could sense his heart breaking but still acted ignorant. "No need to come here, take care of Subin. We'll meet soon Eomma."

Lie. The number of lies of her could paint a canvas with his bleeding heart.

Her hands trembled as the call ended. She inhaled deeply, before dropping the sight at his phone.

The wedding photo as his wallpaper. The eyes blubbered again but she wolfed down the pain and tossed the phone across the bed.

Jungkook clogged up the eyes, feeling them teary, trying to tranquil the wave of emotions arising in him. Rounding up some courage he made a move, trying to hold her hand but she jerked it off.

"Don't", she scowled and brought her hands together, crossing them across the chest. He nodded, taking the hand back and sat still, his eyes resting upon his ring finger.

I feel so unwanted, so selfish and so devastated. Why do I expect so much?

Pressing the lips together he licked them, "I know you are angry but the truth is you misunderstood things. She is just my friend-"

"A friend without whom you can't live? A friend for whom you can lie to your wife? A friend for whom you can ditch your anniversary? A friend for whom you are ready to disrespect the proximity? A friend for whom our wedding rings mean nothing to you?"

"Please Y/N, stop. It is hurting."

"Wow. It is hurting you but what about me?", she finally looked at him and for a minute her heart stopped beating, as her eyes meet his red teary ones, you are not the Jungkook I was proud of.

"Please honey give me a chance", he begged, holding her hand as she slapped it away. "You lost the right to call me that! I hate myself for loving someone like you. You know what? I wish we were never at a stage where we are today. I regret prioritizing you over this world, over my whole fucking existence!"

She sighed heavily, running her fingers through her blonde dyed hair,"Divorce", she jabbered, without giving it a second thought.

The man widened his eyes, feeling the land beneath his feet vanishing. The world seemed to stop as his heart started to accelerate at a greater speed, "W-What? W-Why?"

The only words that could come out of his mouth before his wife laid down, facing her back to him and spoke words laced with coldness, "I'll divorce you. You will receive the papers soon. Go and fuck whomsoever you want. Make that bitch your wife or do whatever you want. It's over between us. I will never return to your life. I am sure you'll be happy hereafter. Sorry not sorry but your love disgusts me now."

"CAN'T YOU JUST STOP CALLING HER THAT?", he yelled, eyes on the verge of shedding tears.

"HA. SAY THAT IN COURT." She yelled back, shutting him all over.

She closed her eyes, feeling them moisten again and tears finally trickled down, falling on the bed. She continued staring at the ring finger and a feeling of hate towards herself bottled up in her.

Her ears waited eagerly to hear his voice one more time, her hands waited eagerly to be caressed one more time, her heart waited eagerly for him to shower her with love one more time but it would never happen.

The room was silent and she was left all alone sulking and fighting to survive.

I wasted his love.

JUNGKOOK'S POV

Like a corpse he walked through the hallway and left the place.

As the rain drops started embracing him, his tears joined them. The body refused to react as he simply let everything happen.

It was all over after all.

The one whom he loved so much felt disgusted by his love.

You think of me so low that you are ready to question my sincerity for you?

Taking the ring box out from his pocket he threw it with a great force across the street, "WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST MY LOVE?!" His voice echoed in the silent street as the rain started to fall harder.

Stopping by a bench he sat on it with a soft thud, with blank eyes, regretting his existence. "Is this a punishment for meeting your friend and giving her a final farewell before she leaves you forever?" His hands rested on the bench as he focused on the pouring rain drops on the ground, "I thought you were mature but... no... you are horrible Y/N, you are horrible.... Comforting my dying friend makes her a whore? Does it make her characterless? It makes her steal and seduce men?... Pathetic, how she was caring about you and you accused her for nothing... Fuck girls? You characterize my holy love like this?... You know what honey... you had actually never prioritized me... You regret loving me?... Did you actually love me for once or you used me to get over your insecurities?"

Smirking, he wiped his tears and pushed his hair back before looking at the black sky, shedding tears like him, "At least you are a witness to my loyalty?"

The whole night went by as he sat under the pouring sky, trying to make up with what he never did.

I am wrong but I don't know what I did?

Rejecting the call from his family members for the nth time he finally decided to leave for home, "You made me realise Y/N, happiness is not something meant for me. Thank you for staying this long. You don't want to listen to me... I don't want to tell you anymore. If this is what you want... then I am ready because I... love you."

Were love and trust such small words for her?

Was observing each other for 5 years not enough to realise each other's worth?

Was their relationship so feeble?

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A very very very late update :)