Outsmarted [Hwang Hyunjin]

Chapter 50

Hyunjin didn't even look back as he started to walk away from the crowd, pulling me along with him to who knows where. However, I decided to look back and saw a mix of emotions among everyone. The girl he was supposed to kiss looked heartbroken, but I honestly didn't feel that bad. A bunch of other girls also looked really disappointed with their frowns and grimaces. The guys however totally hyped us up to even things out; they were laughing and shouting being idiots.

I turned back to Hyunjin and saw him walk toward the stairs which made me nervous. He headed up the stairs and I followed along blindly. He took me to a random room and opened the door. Luckily, no one was in there. The room was empty with only a bed and the moonlight shining through the window.

As my thoughts raced, everything sunk in all at once. I realized that I actually just kissed my bestie who is also my former enemy. A wave of guilt surged through my stomach, feeling as if what we just did and might end up doing are wrong. I didn't know what could take place with just the two of us alone here in this room, whether we were going to talk about what just happened or continue to make out. However, I did know for sure that I didn't want to unlock more feelings that would just lead to guilt.

Clearly, all the adrenaline and exhilaration from earlier were starting to wear off, because now my thoughts were suddenly becoming somewhat logical. I wasn't just thinking about myself and how I felt, I was now thinking about the consequences of what we just did.

For example, if we end up liking each other, all could only go south from there, right? He doesn't even know my true identity, and if he did find out he would be horrified and disgusted by me. My emotions started to engulf me, and I felt helpless. Even though my heart thought kissing him couldn't have felt more right, my brain says that it couldn't be more wrong.

Hyunjin walked inside the room. I was thinking both logically and illogically at the same time. I felt impulsive in the wrong ways but for the right reasons, and accidentally found myself acting on these feelings. I abruptly ripped my hand out of his... and I ran away like I always do. If he turned around I'm sure I would've already been gone. I quickly rushed down the stairs, just wanting to get away from him and sort out my emotions. I arrived at the bottom of the stairs and frantically searched for Jieun, needing to be comforted or maybe even ask for advice. It's been a while since I last saw her, so she could really be anywhere.

I walked through the dancing crowd, my only goal being to find Jieun. I searched thoroughly, but with no luck. I scanned the main floor but still didn't find her. I figured that maybe she was outside and decided to search for her there. I pushed through the crowded house and stepped through a door leading to the backyard. I walked around the busy area filled with drunkies, druggies, and a few skinny dippers (crazy!), but once again wasn't very lucky in spotting her.

"Hey, what's up?"

I spun around to find out who had just spoken to me and to my surprise it was Chan.

"You look distressed," he said.

I sighed, not trying to hide my apparently very obvious affliction.

"I feel guilty," I said.

"Why," he asked genuinely.

I paused for a moment, trying to come up with a good way to word what was going through my head.

"I don't know really... I'm very confused. I just realized I might have feelings for my friend, but I've kept a lot of secrets from them and I'm scared it might come around and bite me in the ass. I also don't even know if they like me and I'm afraid I might end up developing feelings they won't return." I blurted out.

I then mentally slapped myself, realizing this was Minho's best friend, and that I probably shouldn't have told him something so personal. However, he exudes an energy of warmth and reliability, which makes me feel like I can trust him for some reason.