Assassin [H.S.]

Fourty One

22:27pm (10:27pm)
Date: May 8th, 2018
Location: CASTA Headquarters

4 days and 2 hours left..

Sloane Davenport

I tried my best to keep myself composed after today's hiccup, minus my cover being blown.

The mess escalated so quickly that I didn't have time to process the last remaining hours of the day.

Immersing in my system is another round shot of liquor I stole from Wilkins' cabinet in a not so discreet hiding place. He's busy trying to get everyone on my squad their hands full with finishing the Noah Lyses case which I can't solely focus on at the moment.

As I sit in one of the empty trainee barracks beds, my head is fighting against my denial and the intoxication of sweet alcoholic rum hitting my brain.

No one has entered the room but I know Cory or Dev are about to come find me once they ask someone.

Feeling betrayed is always going to bite you hard. With Brayden, I felt as if I couldn't fly; my wings were heavily abused by time I realized his true colors.

It shattered me, vulnerably putting my love to someone who wasn't willing to take it.

You can never put too much into a person's heart or else they can't give it to you back. You start to wonder if those promises ever became mistakes then to being guilty. I told myself never to keep a promise I can't keep.

Because another promise is just like losing your trust.

It's not that I was resented or disturbed with the fact Harry was a SIDD agent all this time. I was more than just angry with the bullet he shot at my rear view.

The reality was that I was grieving heavily inside.

Those flashbulbs memories of him and I being there for each other, doing the most insane but romantic little things. Letting my gut throw out all the words to him as if it was a shoutless void from my heart.

I begin to question whether it was all real to me, not just some coverup he was assigned for. Harry and I were both alike, just different lives fallen for the same person.

There was always something that made me wonder in the back of my head. That deep suspicion lingering, fatally breaking all the potential left in my body to give to him.

Sure we were both able to lie to each other face to face and pretend like it never happened. But it can never show how truthful we really were, when I looked back at those intimate moments of us. They are almost fading away into oblivion.

All those times I've been making myself believe nothing will ever separate the very thing between my double life and him came at an unknown time. I was never fully convinced it would be bound to happen.

And now look where it took me.

I'm wasting my time, sitting alone underground to avoid the situation even further when I should be handling this like it was my first day of CASTA training. Throwing myself under the bus was another option I concluded to, but I can't go back on an oath I took 5 years ago.

Swiping off the bourbon from the corner of my mouth, the door flies open. Devon stares at me wide-eyed as if she hasn't seen me plastered before.

"What the fuck happened Sloane? I thought you were going to take care of the situation." She closes the door behind her so it's just me and her.

I shrug my shoulders. "I got played, Dev."

"Played? By who?"

When I look at Devon, she almost matches my current look of a hot mess. Her hair is out of place, her clothes are wrinkled and her eyes seem to be smudged by mascara.