thirty two

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Chanlel and I were in the middle of theories without growing success. There was no lead that could help us explain why there were so many ghosts stuck with no place to go. I couldn't say the words out loud and make sense of them but something about this was familiar.

I was on the verge of remembering some crucial piece of information that I was missing but just when I was about to, the string of thought dissipated into nothingness. A fuzzy memory where I had seen something once or heard about gone.

Infuriated and because I had nowhere else to turn, I wanted several times to ask Jett where his god was at. A part of me wanted to march over there and pound on my mom's door and demand that Jett tell me why none of his ethereal idols were around to assist Chanel if everything in the bible was real?

If the Archangels weren't just cool beings with awesome powers to heal, couldn't they do something about this mess? And if Heaven's gates hadn't revealed themselves to Chanel and swept her up in a bright light then wasn't some place darker supposed to claim her soul?

Honestly, the whole divine teaching just seemed like one ironclad moral compass that was there to keep its followers from doing a great sin.

It was my responsibility and privilege to help Chanel. How could I not? If it played out differently and roles were put in reverse I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would do the exact same thing for me.

Since my roommate, Rebecca, wasn't due to be back for another four hours thanks to a physics test she had to cram for, I didn't worry about anyone eavesdropping while I exchanged thoughts with Chanel. The roommate and I were still very much on no speaking terms, which was fine by me.

In fact, I didn't know anything about her until some brown haired girl with Gucci glasses that I would've never guessed knew Rebecca, because Rebecca didn't strike me as a girl who had girlfriends, had stopped by earlier with a message of a change in plans and that they were to meet in the library.

I'd just stood there in shock, not really sure of what to say when she then told me that I was to 'pass on' the information to my roommate if Rebecca showed up. And then she left so I couldn't really tell her that she was mistaken; my roomy and I weren't like that - we didn't exchange messages.

Instead I had smiled and said sure, and when Rebecca never made it to our dorm afterwards I had taken her absence as confirmation that she had made it to her study session after all.

I thought if her and Rebecca were such good friends then she would've known about our silent arrangement that we had going on. Guess not.

I didn't think Rebecca would've appreciated that I'd met someone from her personal life. Much less that said friend had told me Rebecca's name when we weren't supposed to know anything about one another. Like I said, not my problem.

Ahead of me the steam from the hot water fogged up the vintage diamond mirror until I only saw a blurry reflection of myself.

To deflect the image of my hazy form - and because I knew I'd looked like shit but chose to ignore the bags and rosacea marks that I had to cover up with special face cream - I turned around with my back to the mirror and got undressed as quickly as I could. I tried not to think about how I looked because it wasn't worth the headache.

To prevent the tub from overfilling I turn the faucet handle all the way to the right and watch as a heavy coating of steam rose from the vat of water.

Eagerly and with both hands, I carefully grasped the sides of the porcelain tub and submerged my cold, naked body in.

I don't hold in the sigh of relaxation.

Thanks to the mind numbing temperature, it didn't matter how many layers I'd put on - virtually everywhere I went I was freezing. After a long day it was nice to defrost. Chanel was right, I was overdue for a little pleasure and relief.

Chanel's unique situation was a tricky one. She hadn't been dead for a long time,

but already she was getting the hang of being in control of her new body.

"I miss being blonde." Chanel was floating above the tub picking at her brown hair wistfully....


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