Wingspan(Paranormal, Young Adult) MAJOR EDITING**

sixty one

the corners of his mouth turned up in an unrecognizable expression. i couldn't tell if Toby was amused or happy.

"tell me i'm wrong but i thought you wouldn't mind." he comments caressing my hip with one hand, the other still holding onto my hand.

interesting. no internal five alarm reacted when he touched me. very interesting.

unlike the toby i had grown accustomed to, this one was noble and quite indulgent.

toby guided my leg up his shoulder and i gingerly leaned back as he dipped me down low and grabbed at my hands and brought my chest to his.

unlike my slow dance with wesley, toby was unconcerned about keeping momentum on ground.

something about him leading didn't cause panic to rise inside of me especially when he took command and effortlessly threw me over his shoulder as if i didn't weigh one hundred and ten pounds.

i was totally unprepared when Toby dipped me backwards and twirled me around in a pirouette until my back hit the front of his chest.

his palms spread on my stomach and massaged the swell of my belly as i sucked in a breath.

"relax we're just dancing." toby murmured close to my ear his hot breath generating goose bumps. "this is your dream you can stop me anytime." he admits putting his arms around me.

i fell against Toby letting him take most of my weight and didn't turn away when he set his chin on my shoulder.

"don't over think it you're still very much pure." Toby whispers near my ear.

"i'm not exactly sure what you mean by that."

"you try to be good and often you cant. you try to be loving and often times your heart is hard like stone." i strained to listen as toby slid one hand up my hip and round my waist. god this was torture.

"you deeply want to have something new and spiritually uplifting to come into your life. sure you have friends, and you appreciate them, but you are keenly aware they are not capable of feeling what you are feeling or knowing what you are going through. you don't know where you are spiritually; and the root of your problem is that you are painfully aware of your own incompleteness and imperfection in relation to god."

i suck in a breath and look into his blue eyes. he got me. better than my family he understood what i was living with on a day-to-day basis. i wasn't sure how to feel about that.

i lean in closer. i felt defenseless and exposed. he saw me underneath all my hesitation and barriers.

i found myself wanting to share my entire life with this person and there was a level of understanding between us that had brought a comfortable yet intriguing sense of familiarity.

so what did he think of me now?

pebble sized spasms emerged from inside a dense knot inside my belly.

"you realize that the ability to fall apart and coming back together again is real strength." psychological hell. everything i didn't want to ever think about, everything i didn't ever want to feel.

i wanted to cry and scream and yell that it wasn't fair but instead i let my head rest against tobys chest.

time and again i repeated those exact words to myself when i felt incomplete and lonesome. it helped to remind me to have great courage and that no matter what limiting beliefs didn't help.

like a cord linking toby and me emphatically there were no communication barriers between us.

that didn't mean our relationship was necessarily free from issues and personal conflict but there was a sense of completion that went beyond words. the feeling was like 'wholeness' on a soul level that went beyond the physical.

but that didnt mean toby was the other half of my soul and i wasn't complete after meeting him.

"shh its okay you don't have to say anything." toby smiles at me sadly.

i turn my head slightly and look up at him doubtful. "don't. don't try to make me feel better. im an impostor who likes to pretend because then i would feel totally alone.", i tell him stunned his thoughts were similar to mine.

"and even though we talk i don't think i'll ever really get you and call me crazy but i think that you don't want me to. wait a minute, can you feel that?" i ask.

he kisses the top of my head and says something. "what? i don't understand." toby's lips were moving but i couldn't hear what he was saying.

wanting to turn around but not being able to because toby held me close to him i strained to hear him.

i wanted to shout my frustration. i didn't understand speech by visually interpreting the movement of lips, face, and tongue.

though i'd seen a pamphlet from my old high school about speech reading i had never considered the need to master such a special talent.

now i was reconsidering such a poor decision. if i knew how to read lips then maybe i would know what toby was saying.

the ground trembles knocking me off guard.

i reach out to cling on to toby but his body spreads out disappearing into the shadows leaving me completely unbalanced and afraid that i would fall and hit my head on the hard marble.

i crouch down low when i loose my footing and bear myself against the nasty awful tremor that vibrated viciously beneath and below my feet. i bring my head down and wrap my arms around my legs.

i scream at the top of my lungs when a ripple cracks and divides the stage in two big halves. a chunk of the fragmented and gaping floor exposed broken pipelines.

from out of the collapsed marble floor a stream of odorless mist flowed and coursed into one large shape and as if the tail were able to distinguish movement followed its trail.

i crawl over by the closest pillar for safety. pieces of the ceiling knocked down to rubble. "no please, don't." i cry running away from the overcast shadow that was looming towards me.

i scrambled to get to my feet and stumbled. Oomph! my hands smacked the floor and my chest propelled forward with a hard thud.

totally aware of my surroundings i lay low when a huge chunk of debree knocked over and hit the space next to me.

i grimace. whew! that would have hurt. if i was further out i could have been smashed like a pumpkin by a heavy chunk of solid marble.

"No! get away im nothing you don't want me. Stop! I said leave me alone." i lift my hand in the air as if it were a shield to shelter myself from the cloudless fog that was inching closer and closer towards me.

screaming, i keep my head down and push with my hands to get up from my crouching position on the floor to find protection.

when something shifted in the air i turned around thinking it was Toby and jump crying out in surprise when im hit with a strong invisible force and fall backwards banging my head on the marble floor.

"ugh." light headed and dizzy i groan out in pain.

this time the smoke trails after me and i don't fight it when it hangs over me in one massive form and drifted inside my mouth.

all i could think about was this was the end for me i was dying. i was alone and i was dying.

i didnt get to say goodbye to the people who mattered most in my life or finish that paperback Crime and Punishment novel.

now i wasn't a morbid thinker but i'd always thought about my death and what it would feel like to slip away and while i imagined all sorts of scenarios they ended quick and with less pain.

the last thing i could remember was the intense throbbing as the back of my head hit the ground.

as i woke up i heard wesleys voice in my head once more, undeniably clear.

"we are far and near. you have learned our names that have been passed over throughout history. what you are experiencing is not impossible aislin. only unknown. do not fear us. we are not here to hurt you."