Wingspan(Paranormal, Young Adult) MAJOR EDITING**

fourty eight

The bridge you cross is a mental one, not an emotional one, not a physical one. This is what the opium of our darkness aids in our doing.

-author unknown

"sorry." i put my hand down and away from my cheek once i realized i was staring at him. Toby already thought i was air-brained. 

absentmindedly looking at him without meaning to didn't help matters. i drew abstract patterns in my notebook but it wasn't working. for all the effort i put into making a distraction Toby was still there.

Toby laughs bitterly. 

"what's so funny?" i ask in heat of the moment and forgot all about my being mad at him. i glare at him. i was getting flushed but that didn't make a difference.

Toby grinds his teeth. his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw tightened, the muscles in his neck stuck out. "you keep apologizing for no reason. just stop. will you just stop it." he pounded on the desk with such strength and ferocity that i had to laugh because it felt awkward not to.   

i couldn't look at toby.  

i tried not to think about how rigid he was on the stool or the silver in his eyes that speckled whenever he was feeling a particular emotion, anger. 

mainly i was worried about what else he was going to say and how i was going to react. 

"sorry."  i mumble. was he mad at me again? -oh, who was i kidding, Toby never cared about anyone or anything. that's why he didn't have anyone as a friend. 

tobys intense gaze never wavers. he lifts a black brow. one side of his mouth pulls at the corner, his full lips stretching just a little. a dimple on his cheek. was toby actually smiling at something i said?

 Toby narrowed his deep blue eyes and the smile was gone. "what did i just say?" 

"Look, I-" Toby blows a puff of air. he snakes one hand through his shoulder length hair and looks down at me without the fury this time. "i don't like hurting your feelings, it just comes out that way." 

i knew Toby was articulating his words carefully. he had that same face like he did now whenever he was trying to explain himself. his large black eyebrows knit together, his lips pressed together tight as he stares at my forehead.

i drop my pencil on reflex.

i look up at Toby, puzzled.

obviously he was upset and i wanted to make it better somehow because i hated it when we argued like that it always got me flustered. 

i open my mouth but nothing came out. 

i was shocked and uncertain of what i did wrong. one minute we were getting along and the next.....

Toby shakes his head and rambles, 'forget it, what do i care'.

I didn't understand what was going on and i wanted to clear things up between us.

instead of talking about it Toby drills his nose into a trig book effectively putting an end to any communication.

not long after the bell rings we scramble out of class.

Maybe Toby was right. Maybe the both of us would be better off if we kept things simple and go our separate ways.

my heart clenched and i had a hard time breathing. just the thought of keeping toby out of my life was unthinkable.

i didn't understand why and that made me even more anxious than the thought of never having met the guy.