Fourtyfour

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"We're not...really talking right now."

Jimin curls his brows. "What'd you mean?" He asks through the phone. "What happened?"

Jeongguk sighs. "We...kissed. But he was drunk when it happened."

"That...That's good! Is-Isn't it?" Jimin nervously asks, tapping his chin while he walks back and forth in his room.

"I mean...I guess. But when he woke up and got sober...he was pissed off at me for being confused about my sexuality. He said that I don't need a label for calling myself gay or straight. I can just be me—I don't get it, Chim. He doesn't make sense."

Jimin stops and sits himself down on the edge of the bed, sighing. "I-I mean...he does have a point."

Jeongguk's brows knit. "How?"

"Like...if you like him, you like him. To him, it doesn't matter with the sexuality is, like...gay, straight, bi, pansexual—it doesn't matter to him. He just likes you and doesn't care that you're a male or what your sexuality is." Jimin softly explains. "Does...that make sense?"

The other line went silent. Jeongguk didn't hang up, he just went silent from the thought of what Jimin has said. Jimin's brows curl up again, moving his phone away from his ear to look at it, still seeing that he's still there, then back up to his ear.

"Gguk?"

"I-I'll call you back, okay?" Jeongguk nervously says and hangs up.

Jimin blinks and looks at his phone, seeing his home screen now. He frowns, turning off his phone and sighing. He just hopes Hoseok and him work it out. Jeongguk needs a love life. Hoseok is the possible option. Namjoon softly knocks on the opened door. Jimin looks up and sees him, curling up a smile.

"Hey." Namjoon smiles small.

"Hi." Jimin happily replies.

Namjoon turns around and closes the door behind him, walking to him and sitting down beside. "Is Jeongguk doing alright?"

Jimin's smile falls, lowering his eyes down. "Not really."

"What's up?"

Jimin rests his head on Namjoon's shoulder, softly sighing. "They kissed at the party...Jeongguk embarrassed himself by being confused, Hoseok didn't like it and they haven't really talked since that day." He gives a short example.

Namjoon blinks. "Oh, that's new information that I need to process."

Jimin scoffs with a side smile, closing his eyes. "He needs to process what Hoseok and I said about his confusion." He snakes his arms around his arm, fluttering his eyes back open.

Namjoon lifts a hand up to his hand that's on his arm. "What'd you say?"

"That it doesn't matter with our sexuality. If you like them, you like them. It shouldn't matter about the gender or anything." Jimin moves his head to rests his chin on his shoulder. Namjoon looks at him. "Just who they are and their personality." He whispers.

"It kind of sounds like a pansexual thing in my perspective." Namjoon whispers.

Jimin giggles. "You've googled?"

Namjoon chuckles, looking forward. "Yeah." He lowers his eyes. "I think I'm pan but I don't really focus on it." I actually did focus on it. Jimin's my first love. I never felt like this before to anyone else but Jimin. I still can't really figure myself out.

"I don't focus on my sexuality either... I understand what Hoseok means by labeling since I talked to Jeongguk."

Namjoon nods. "I agree on the label thing too." He rests his head down on his head. "The community seems complicated though."

Jimin chuckles. "I agree. But it doesn't matter." He caresses his arm. "We love each other."

Namjoon curls up a smile, agreeing.

▁▁▁▁▁

First day of staying at the Parks. Day one. Namjoon had his belongings in their home, Sooyoung, Mr. and Mrs.Park being very sweet to him. They loved his company, also loving him to give Jimin company when it's the weekend and such. How could they even hate Namjoon?

At the time, they were both still awake, laying down on the bed. Jimin is in his pajamas with Namjoon having a shirt and shorts on, not having pajamas like his partner. Namjoon is currently caressing Jimin's knuckles while Jimin is resting their foreheads together, smiling small.

"You're my first love." Namjoon suddenly whispers out.

Jimin moves his head and looks at him. Namjoon just kept his eyes lowered down, continuing to caress his knuckles. He moves his hand to intertwine their fingers together, Jimin accepting it with a soft expression across his face.

"I've dated before but...I never felt like this before to anyone else but only to you." He looks at him. "I'm deeply in love with you Jimin. And I don't know if I'm able to let you go if I have to."

Jimin's brows curl up. He felt tears in his eyes. Namjoon let's go of his hand and moves it to the side of his face, caressing his cheekbone. Jimin lifts his hands up to his hand, pulling his hand to his chest to where his heart is, holding tight.

"Namjoonie." Jimin whispers.

"I just wanted you to know that." He lowers his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek to hold in his tears.

Jimin scoots himself closer to him and puts his arm around him, letting Namjoon hide his face in Jimin's chest as he keeps a hold of his hand. Namjoon puts an arm around him too, closing his eyes tight and gripping his shirt. Jimin lifts his hand up to his head, softly petting him.

"Y-You're my first love too." Jimin softly says.

Namjoon's jaw shakes, choking up a sob. Jimin closes his eyes and continues to pet him. He just needs to let it all out. Jimin is always the one crying... He doesn't want Namjoon to bottle up his feelings anymore. He literally just moved out of his own abusive parents' home...

He couldn't let his feelings stay away forever. Namjoon kept mumbling sorry every time while he cried. Jimin just holds him tighter, knowing he feels bad for crying so suddenly, keeping himself silent. Namjoon never felt so loved before. Not even by his parents, but by someone else's.

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