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"No. No, I can't do that..." Jimin tells himself.
He recently thought about something that should be after graduation, the thing he told to promise towards Namjoon. Jimin was currently in his room, writing in his notebook as Namjoon was fixing them a snack for both of them to eat. Jimin's parents were out. Sooyoung were with her friends. It didn't bother Jimin since he has company with Namjoon. And that's why he's at that type of thought.
Jimin groans and stops writing, closing his notebook and putting his pencil down. He puts the notebook in the drawer and puts the pencil in the cup with the others. He felt the urge of Tae trying to get through and mess with him about what he wrote and his thoughts. He didn't want him to ruin a moment he would want or need someday.
Namjoon taps on the door, having a tray of fruit that he cut up. "Hey. You okay?" He noticed Jimin looks upset.
Jimin looks up and sees him. "Yeah." He smiles small. "I'm doing okay."
Namjoon smiles small and walks over to the desk, putting it down. "So...I can't actually make snacks. I just cut up fruit instead."
Jimin chuckles, picking up a cube of watermelon, taking a bite. Namjoon walks over to sit down on the edge of the bed. "It's still a good snack." Jimin comments, looking at him.
Namjoon chuckles, lowering his head. He started to think of what he planned. "I uh, I plan to get a job...while I stay here."
Jimin curls his brows. "Why?"
"It seems unfair that I live here rent free. I feel like I should get one."
Jimin grabs another cube of watermelon to take a bite and gets up from the chair, walking over to him and sit beside him. He wipes his hands on his shorts and reaches over to softly grab his hands, his fingertips cold due to the fruit he ate. Namjoon accepts his hand, intertwining their fingers together.
"I won't stop you." Jimin softly says. "Because I already forced you to be here and stay here."
Namjoon scoffs. "You didn't force me."
"No, I did. I know I did." Jimin messes with one of his fingertips. "By the way..." He bites the inside of his cheek. "I...I want to break a promise."
Namjoon blinks, lifting his hand up to his. "What promise? Which one?"
"That one we had...a-about my virginity." Jimin awkwardly says. "I-I don't want to wait after graduation anymore." He nervously looks at him. "Any certain time...would be okay. If...If you're okay with it too."
Namjoon curls his brows. "Are-Are you sure?"
Jimin smiles small and nods. "I'm really sure. I...I want you. Whenever we're both ready."
Namjoon eyes couldn't help to widen. I mean, I've seen porn but...doing it for real now? On my boyfriend? Oh, I don't know... It's Jimin that I'm worried about doing it to... I don't want to break him! Wait, am I able to break him? Is that even possible? Will it hurt him?
"Namjoon?" Jimin tilts his head.
Namjoon blinks. "Oh. Right. Yeah. Got it. This promise is allowed to be broken if we're both ready for it—I got it."
Jimin giggles. "It looked like you were thinking... What were you thinking about?"
"I uh...I'm just uh...afraid to hurt you...when we do that, you know?" Namjoon awkwardly says. "I don't want to hurt you in any way. Mentally or even physically."
Jimin flutters his eyes down. "It will...but I know it'll be a good feeling. From what I know, the beginning usually hurts." He looks at him and holds onto both of his hands again. "But I love you enough for you to love me in a different way."
Namjoon smiles small, leaning in for a quick kiss. Jimin giggles, smiling big.
▁▁▁▁▁
Yoongi flutters his eyes open, groaning from getting lightheaded by all the crying he did. He slowly sits up from the bed, looking around his bedroom. He noticed he was all cozy in his bed. Yoongi shakily sighs and gets up off the bed, pushing the blanket and pillows off so he could get up.
He gets up to leave his bedroom to find Seokjin. Was he still even here? Where did he even go? Yoongi kept asking himself, looking in every room to make sure. He heard the sink running. Yoongi stops and turns back around to the bathroom. Right when Yoongi was about to open the door, Seokjin opens it first and scares Yoongi a little.
"I-I thought you left." Yoongi nervously says.
"I couldn't."
Yoongi lowers his eyes. "Oh." He gulps hard and lifts his hand up to fix his hair, realizing he has bed head.
Seokjin smiles small but makes it fade quick. "I uh, I was just taking a shower. I used most of the cold water so you can have warm water."
He nods. "Thanks. I guess." Seokjin was about to walk passed him and leave but Yoongi quickly grabs his wrist. "Wait."
Seokjin looks at him. Yoongi bites the inside of his cheek and looks down at where he's holding. He nervously slid his hand to his, slowly intertwining their fingers together. Seokjin's brows curl, looking at their hands and looks at him. Yoongi looks at him. He pulls him back to the bathroom and makes Seokjin sit down on the toilet.
Yoongi leans down and slowly press their lips together. Seokjin grips Yoongi's hand as he slowly kisses back, lifting his hand up to the side of his face. Yoongi slowly disconnects their kiss, keeping his eyes closed as he rests his forehead on his. Seokjin kept his eyes closed too, biting his bottom lip with his brows curled, trying to stay calm.
"I love you." Yoongi calmly whispers. "I hate that I do...but I do."
Seokjin's jaw shakes, his emotions quickly building up. Yoongi let's go of his hand and slides Seokjin's hand off his face, moving away. Seokjin lowers his head as Yoongi leaves the bathroom, going to the kitchen. Seokjin covers his eyes, jaw rapidly shaking much more.
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