"If I knew it's gonna hurt this much, I wish I never laid my eyes on her."
___
Knuckles white on a steering wheel, the rumble of a car, the sound of an air conditioning. But no words. Just silence. Just tension.
Natara stared off, head never moving from the window. She was wearing gloves too, a pair she'd found. To cover her bloodstained hands. They both knew whose sake the gloves were for.
Eventually Alessia broke.
"I'm sorry, I was... mean."
Head turning away from window, Natara blinked. "You're apologizing?"
"I am."
"Don't." Tara took a steadying breath and a prominent frown covered her features. "You shouldn't of had to see that. I shouldn't have put you in a position where you saw that. I went too far. I'm sorry."
A soft smile finally breaking out, Alessia spared her a glance. "Then we're both sorry." She grasped Natara's hand in her own, giving it a squeeze, the gloves warm and thick. But as she pulled her hand away the blonde caught it once more, holding it securely.
Alessia watched her now, surprised. Natara wasn't looking at her but she understood what she needed. So Alessia held her hand back.
________
"Go shower, I'll order something to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
Thank God.
Alessia wasn't been sure she'd have been able to eat anything after everything she'd seen. The images were still playing on her mind and threatening to have her throw up again. "Okay then, just go shower."
"Okay," Natara replied, a soft grin showing. She slowly exited the room.
Alessia surveyed the place they'd been staying the past several weeks. The memories replayed, some bad, most good.
"What are you thinking about?"
Jumping at the intrusion, Alessia turned to see Natara watching her, eyes soft. "I thought I told you to go shower?" She joked and Natara smiled.
"Forgot something." A lobsided shrug. Natara's right shoulder always raised slightly higher when doing the movement.
Her blonde hair was down and she looked so beautiful, so fragile and so soft in this moment. It made Alessia's chest ache. It was easy to forget about everything here and now.
"Did you find it?" Her voice was a whisper and she saw Natara breath deeply.
"I might've."
They both knew this was a very different conversation than Natara's forgotten item. "Then go shower." Alessia tried to keep her tone light but it wavered, painfully obvious.
Because there it was, replaying before both of their minds. A different night, years past. A different shower. But the same people. The both of them. And an invitation.
"You know I can't ask you that," Natara whispered, looking at her gently. She knew what Alessia was remembering.
"I know."
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