Chapter Seventeen

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"Forgive people for not being who you wanted them to be."
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Natara

"Is it done yet?"

"If you ask me that one more time then I'm going to stop making it," Melina replied as she looked up from her work.

Gods, she wanted all of this to be over. It had been three weeks since she'd forgotten everything. Three weeks of reaching into her mind to try remember anything of the entire two years she'd apparently lived.

Did anyone know what that was like? To be told you were two years in the past? To feel just like you did yesterday but have everyone tell you that yesterday was actually seven hundred and thirty-one days ago?
Nothing had changed for her, just the world. And everyone looked and made her feel like she was doing something wrong.

She'd tried to remember, spent hours doing it. She couldn't sleep, as per usual, so she tried to think back. But nothing. It was like telling someone to remember what tomorrow was like. Or saying, 'hey, how you feeling four days from now? What's happening in your life?'. Then she'd look at the date and year and realize she'd lost more of her life. It was sending her spiraling. Natara was used to spiraling, she was used to mental hells. But this? How does someone deal with this?
Like what do you actually do and how are you supposed to get your head around any of it? The worst thing is that Natara had always depended on her head above all else, depended on herself. If she could trust no one else then at the bare minimum, she could trust herself. And now everyone was telling her they were right, they were smarter on this than her, and she was the unreliable one.

Worse than that, Natara was living with a constant headache. From genuinely thinking too hard. She'd never known that could even happen. Then again, she didn't appear to know absolute shit anymore.
That frustration and helplessness rose up into her constantly aching head and spilling into her eyes, filling them up and making them prickle. She refused to cry, not here surrounded in a house of people she didn't know, as much as she was told that apparently, she did.

The door opened softly and her eyes darted to the noise, seeing a blonde walk in and shut it, running attire on. It was early, Melina being the only person down here at this time. Or apparently not. Natara frowned. Where the actual hell do you even run on a property like this?
Surely Natasha didn't run into Saint Petersburg itself. Actually, she might've. It would make sense and could actually be an explanation to wherever the hell she went every damn day. Cause it wasn't here.
The sight was really beginning to grate on Natara.

Look, she knew she wasn't this household's favourite person. Who the fuck cares? She didn't. It wasn't like she was comfortable here either. She wasn't comfortable at all. But people didn't need to go out of their way to make her feel like she was doing something wrong just by breathing. That was usually her job.

The blonde Avenger had been non-existent these past two weeks and Natara knew she was the reason why. She didn't want to be here, the constant weighted gazes and searching looks made her feel worse than she already did, Nat didn't need to add to that.
Yes, she wasn't the person everyone here knew or had heard of. Gods, did they think she didn't know that? Did they think she liked seeing their disappointed stares everytime they were reminded of that?

This is why she worked alone. This is why she lived alone. These past three weeks had been shit for her and these people made it so much worse.

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