Despair's Insanity - an II x DR fic

OFDH - FTE 2

As soon as I got into the hallway upstairs, I heard a bit of arguing and kinda forgot what happened with Paper just moments ago.

"C'mon, you just have to pick up the clothes you've been leaving on the floor, off the floor. You can do it, buddy."

"I- I- don't think you understand how much b-b-bigger I am than y-you!-"

"Stop being a baby and just lift yourself up!"

Huh. Wonder who that could be. I knocked on the door to Bomb's room, and then opened the door to see Bomb and Soap sitting in the dark, while Bomb was hunched over picking up clothes. I also learned how much a man can sweat, given the way his tank top was darkened from muted to a strangely deep crimson- if I didn't know any better I would've called it blood.

"Uhm, I heard bickering, so I just came to check up on you guys," I finally said as they stared at me. Bomb was shaking, probably for a few reasons, and then collapsed to the ground, panting like a sickly little animal. "...is he ok?"

"He never does his damn laundry! I just want him to help around here sometimes, and he's too lazy to do it! Isn't that right, Bomb?" I looked down at him, and he wasn't really able to reply. There's no way he was that tired from picking up clothes- she must've made him scrub the hell out of the entire room- which isn't even his job. Wait- isn't she the housekeeper? I had a few questions beyond just that, but I asked the one that bugged me the most.

"Why the hell were you two doing all this in the dark, anyway? That seems a little counterproductive."

"Our bulbs burnt out," Bomb finally rasped, through still labored breath. "W-We can't- get any more because we don't know where they are..." Soap nodded at me to indicate he was telling the truth- but I don't know why I wouldn't believe him. That's the best excuse they could have possibly had. I went to flick the switch anyway, just to see if it would magically work for me, but it didn't.

"See?" Soap chuckled a bit, putting a hand on her hip. "You guys are so thick, I swear. Always thinking people are lying, or that the world will suddenly change just for you." Jeez- I don't remember Soap ever being this bitchy... what happened?

Oh wait. Never mind, I know what happened. I should've seen this sort of thing coming from more than just her, and maybe I will. At least she's prepared to face the trauma, I suppose. Then I remember my still collapsed friend, and gesture to him.

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah, he's fine. I'm a nurse, and can confirm that he's just tired because he doesn't exercise. If he went outside more than once a month, maybe it wouldn't be so hard for him to walk or crouch." She looked down at Bomb as well, almost taunting him for being out of shape. Bomb hardly noticed though, as he was getting back up onto his feet so he could sit on the edge of his bed instead. "Did you hear-"

"Yes Soap. Hhheard it all before. You're a nurse, I- I- I'm a fat fuck- we get it," Bomb huffed. Soap's eyes widened at his harsh tone, and sat beside him. "What do you want now," he spat.

"Bomb- I didn't think you were all that upset. You know I'm just trying to look out for you- and you definitely know the spiels I go on- but I think your lifestyle is very destructive! I don't mind bigger people- all that is perfectly fine! But- I feel like you're only like... this... because you refuse to do anything. Remember season one?"

"I try nnnnot to."

"Touché. But- I'm serious though! You used to be just as athletic as the rest of them- I'd even say you were much more so with how you carried yourself! And since we don't have a whole lot to do, maybe you and I could work together and get a little more in shape? It would make the health nut in me really happy if you did."

I felt like a third wheel, but stuck around in the doorway regardless because this seemed somewhat important to listen to. Bomb looked at her, then over at me, and his face flushed faintly.

"I- I- I don't- I don't know if I can, but- i-if you insist, I'll t-t-t-t-"

"Try harder?" Soap said encouragingly. I could feel the death stare like it was just for me as it locked onto her. "Wait- oh. R-Right- sorry Bomb!"

"...I'll try harder," he finally sneered, but his anger subsided pretty quickly once Soap gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry for throwing a fit. I should be pulling my weight."

"You should, but the apology is very much appreciated, Bomb! I accept it with open arms!"

"Yeah yeah. B-B-But- Pickle. Do you need something? You're j-j-just staring." He looked back at me again, and I kinda forgot why I came in the first place.

"Well- I just wanted to make sure nobody died," I finally said. Bomb nodded, getting up with some effort.

"If you gimme t-time to change, w-w-we can go hang out. Find some loopholes to the n-no tech rule, maybe? Or just t-t-talk." I glanced at Soap and she nodded, putting the hamper of Bomb's clothes on his bed.

"I'll put these in the washer later- I still have to look at the bathroom. But you two have fun, ok?" I nodded back to her, and before I knew it, Bomb was taking me out of the room by the hand.

We ended up in the living room, with nobody around but the two of us. I sat down to look over the report cards again, before Bomb nudged me.

"So, y-you got any hot gossip?"

"...No?"

"Ugh- you're n-n-n-n-not any fun, man. Pepper always has ssssome news for me!"

"I'm not a little snoop like Pepper, though."

"...I guess not," Bomb said with a hefty sigh. "You got a-anyone you're looking to h-hang out with?" I scoffed at Bomb's insistence for something to talk about, but then my mind drifted off for a moment. I didn't really think about romance- which I knew he was trying to imply just now- and I never really cared about it, either. I mean, I've always liked some people more than others, and I show physical affection to only three people, but I wouldn't count that as a crush or anything like that. I just let the first name that popped up out.

"Paper, maybe?"

"Paper??" Bomb's eyes went wide with shock. "You're kidding! I- I would've nnnnever realized!" I didn't believe it either- that was the first name to come out of my mouth? Why? I figured I would say Knife- Bomb probably figured that too with how surprised he still looked, but I went with it.

"He's just a really nice guy, y'know? He shouldn't be dating a guy like Oj."

"They haven't d-dated since season three, Pickle."

"They haven't?" Bomb looked somewhat amused with me, smirking and letting out a soft chuckle.

"Nope. Broke up because P-Paper couldn't go on the cruise, and O-O-Oj didn't convince the owners to let him go, sssso he went without Paper. By the time it was all o-over- Oj came back to a llllivid ex." That would explain Oj's shitty behavior to him, though that's not a good excuse by any means. It seems like Paper's let that go, so why can't Oj?

Bomb and I continued to talk about stuff that piqued his interest- though I can't say I learned a whole lot other than the fact that Trophy no longer slept at night, which nobody can explain the reasoning for. By the time Bomb had finished catching me up on everything, with what all he's been told from Pepper, my MonoPhone said it was just about eight. That's as good a bedtime as any, so Bomb and I said our goodbyes, and I went to my hotel room, practically collapsing onto the mattress and passing out right then and there.

I think Bomb and I got to bond! But- Soap?
Eh... at least I know something about her.

Maybe tomorrow would be a little easier, now that we've got our "cast" bullshit out of the way.