Despair's Insanity - an II x DR fic

VU - 5

It was five in the morning, the time I used to wake up at. Seeing that number on my alarm clock gave me a tiny boost of energy, but my chest still felt oddly tight.

Blueberry had been cuddled up to me again this morning, but I got up without waking him up to go do things on my own. I took a bath, put on my vest, stretched a little bit, and went downstairs to go get breakfast.

The first people I saw were Candle and Bomb. Candle... she made me nervous. That seemed obvious, given she now carried a doll of a grown woman with her like it was a pet. It sat on the kitchen counter beside her, the button eyes staring into my soul.

Where was Microphone anyway?

"She's in the cafeteria," Candle muttered. "She's been doing less well lately. A lot of people are on edge now, though I'm not sure what happened... would you like cinnamon in these, Bomb?"

I realized Bomb wasn't cooking anymore. Candle must've forced him to stop somehow, because he just stood by the fridge, staring at the tile with that empty look I remembered from when Pickle died. He said nothing in response, but Candle seemed to be able to read minds apparently because she nodded and put cinnamon into whatever she was making.

It smelled burnt.

Despite the...tense scene playing out in front of me, I went to go check on Microphone. She seemed pretty alright, sitting at a table and tapping her fingers against it. I looked down at my fingerless hand for a second.

I had kinda forgotten about it until that very moment, but even then didn't let it linger in my mind as I sat down across from Mic.

"Oh, hey." She gave me a respectful wave. "You look better than usual."

"Do I?"

"Eh. I think so. What's the deal? You wanna be my friend or something now?"

"...I- I uh-" I had no idea what to say to that without sounding rude. I kept stammering, but stopped once she laughed.

"I was just being a dick man, relax. I'm glad at least somebody here is being fucking normal for once. I mean- everybody's cool and all I guess, but they're so dead inside... and I get it's upsetting. This fucking sucks, but it's been how long?"

"Well, it is hard when two people fell out, Candle's..."

"Candle's obsessive and weird?"

"...Yeah- hey, do you know she has a doll of you?"

Microphone huffed, her eyes drifting away. "Yeah I know. When she's not around me she's constantly staring at it. I guess she finds me to be the best case study since I'm not completely mentally fucked over... and I guess she wants to keep me under her control."

I thought for a second, but then asked what had been eating at me.

"Did you really cover up for Soap?"

She looked back at me. Her usual gaze seemed to turn glassy. "Yeah. I didn't know what the hell was going on... if I had realized the stakes were this serious I would've said something."

"You saw her kill somebody. Is that not high stakes?"

"I don't know. I guess I just wasn't thinking about him. That sounds terrible, sure, but... I... it didn't click until I saw Soap die. Pickle wasn't my friend so I- I was horrified, sure, but..." She trailed off and covered half her face with one of her hands. "If I could've done it again, I probably wouldn't have let her off the hook that easy. I would've like- stayed with her and not let it even happen. But it sucks, I made a stupid choice, and now I get to live with it."

"Why don't you tell the others?"

My question was met with a light scoff. "What the hell would that do for me? I'd be a target, or a threat. What happened is over, I didn't save her ass by screaming hysterically, so...whatever." I glanced back to the kitchen, seeing Candle examining the doll yet again.

"She knows, doesn't she?"

"Why do you think I've been hanging out with her...? It's pointless to have anybody know now. I'm a liar, so what? It's not like I'm gonna kill anybody myself!"

"...Right."

"You're not- gonna tell everybody, right?"

I paused again. There's no reason why I should do it instead of her, but it felt a little dangerous to have an accomplice running around at the same time. But, when she reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly, her eyes pleading with me, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile a little bit.

"I'm better than that. You don't seem like that kinda person anyway... it's your own problem to tackle. Just don't let Candle own you, ok?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to get her off my ass. But thank you, Lifering. Genuinely, I- you're a really nice guy when you're not being terrible to armless people." My face grew hot with embarrassment at that time, and she smirked. "I'm teasing. Nobody cares anymore- that was a very minor moment in this cascade of bullshit."

The two of us got quiet, but I felt a lot better about her being here despite that incident. Though, Microphone did sit up a little when Candle walked in.

"You'd better let me handle her," Microphone said, "you just go eat and hang out in the lobby or something, ok?"

Right. Eating! I kept forgetting about that somehow, but I gave her a nod, a smile to try and encourage her to deal with Candle's dick-ish nature, and went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.

I ate another granola bar while Bomb watched me in eery silence, but then Fan came up to me out of thin air with wide eyes.

"Lifering? Are you... are you ok?"

Huh? I had no idea what he meant, or why he cared, but I nodded, and he clarified.

"Your chest, does it hurt?"

"It's been hurting for a little over a day, why?"

"Well- we've been keeping track of everyone's vitals lately, and based on what we're seeing... you've been undergoing mild cardiac arrest."

Even Bomb seemed to snap out of his weird daze as we all stared at one another. Then, with my mouth hung open like an idiot, all I could muster was a soft "Excuse me?"

"Yeah- I mean you're not dying but... do you maybe wanna get that checked out?"

"I- Yes? I don't know if I want to risk dying like that. I had no idea I was having a heart attack!"

"Ok- well calm down first off. You're gonna make it worse if you freak out. Just come with me, ok?"

"Ok..." Fan led me to the elevator to go to the nurse's station and all I could think about, was how fortunate and unfortunate I was to be having an onset heart attack and not even notice. And I missed a lot because of it, so that's great.

(Note from Apple: Get ready! This sucked.)