Despair's Insanity - an II x DR fic

TTM - FTE 1

Character Selected: Paper(?)

Blueberry...Paper?... I couldn't think of who I WANTED to actively spend time with at the moment, but that's when Microphone must've noticed me and walked over. She seemed happy enough despite claiming that Knife was her friend, and leaned her arm on the table in front of me.

"Hey- you wanna help?"

"Help? With what?"

"...The tables. Bomb's been doing a lot for this, but he seems tired. I think it would be decent if you could decorate or prepare with us!" Suddenly, my chest grew tight as every single piece of my body quivered and my blood boiled. Why me? Why not someone else? Why not ANYBODY who hasn't contributed a damn thing around here?!

I didn't say that though. Not yet. "I don't want to."

"...Lifering." she laughed, lips forced to curl into a cold smile. "I just want you to help us with some furniture, will that really kill you?"

"I said no."

"But I'm not asking you to do much, just-" I slammed my fist down on the table, and with it came another loud bang, followed by a scream. We both looked behind Microphone to see Bomb had dropped a chair onto his foot. Pepper rushed over to him and yelled some nonsense in a state of pure panic. She got the chair up and sat him down nearby.

"Why is he doing that anyway?" I asked through a hushed tone, "He can't even do it right."

"He's been doing just fine so far until you scared him! Lifering what the hell is your problem today?! Just yesterday you were perfectly pleasant and willing to help us, what's so different now that you're trying to throw a hissy fit?!"

"The difference is that I'm not in the mood to deal with YOU screaming at me today!" Microphone and I glared at each other for a while, and I even managed to get out of my chair just so we could have a stand off. It's hard to pull that off though when someone's taller than you. And she's a woman- hitting her would be cruel on my own end.

"I only argued with you because you started being a DICK," she snarled, practically putting her face on top of mine. I didn't want to back down by any means, though, so I took a step forward to try and get her back, which actually worked.

"What if I don't want you pressuring me, Microphone? You're being a bit of a bi-"

"LIFERING!" I heard a shrill voice scream out from the entrance of the cafeteria, and once I looked over I knew who it was instantly... Paper. I didn't have much time to react before he grabbed my by my ponytail, tugging me away from Microphone... and I didn't realize how strong he was, because it hurt WAY worse than if the average person was tugging on me like that! I almost tried to swing, but the position he'd started dragging me in was too awkward for me to get any good hits. Before I knew it, I was at the complaint desk, sitting across from Paper, who wore a wicked scowl on his face. I had the same one on, but he didn't seem to even notice as he handed me back my white scrunchie to tie my hair again, which I snatched out of his hand.

If looks could kill, he'd be pretty hurt, but I'd be six feet under. If anything, he had this look on his face like I'd be just that in a few minutes if I didn't start talking to him.

"...Paper, I'm sor-"

"Lifering, I don't think you understand what you just did, so let's go over that before you even THINK about apologizing," Paper abruptly cut me off, putting his finger to my lips. "You just had a fight with Microphone, someone who would've WIPED THE FLOOR WITH YOUR BEHIND, might I add, over you making ableist comments and being rude! What are you thinking?!" I stared at him for a second, with one question in my mind:

What WAS I thinking? I don't think I had thought about what I was saying at all, it was just a passionate, angry speech that probably directed itself at all the wrong people. If it had been directed at the right person, I might've ended up the way Bomb did.

"Well?" Paper tapped his desk with his fingertips, still glaring at me. "I'm waiting for something now!"

"Oh- I- I just didn't really...oh...I don't know, Paper! I'm just fed up with all of this shit!"

"Language."

"No- NO! SHUT UP ABOUT LANGUAGE!" I slammed my hands down onto the desk, but Paper slapped me across the face before I could do much else. He slapped me hard- much harder than I think he should've been able to muster with that sort of build... good god- it was like he'd saved all his energy for this ONE hit- my cheek was stinging like a son of a bitch!

Funnily enough, after that, my anger kind of ebbed away, but Paper still held a tone of heavily contained rage. "Don't you yell at me, mister. I'm trying to help."

"...why did you..."

"Because that's probably the only way you were going to listen. De-escalation is important, but you clearly weren't interested. Now, are you gonna calm down?"

I paused for a second, then sighed. "Yes. I'll calm down. I'm sorry, I guess." Paper huffed, and I immediately backtracked. "Ok, ok! I'm genuinely apologetic- stop looking at me that way! It's creeping me out!" There was a long pause between us, but his glare softened eventually.

"...Lifering," he started speaking again as he stood up, "I have a lot of faith in you. I know I said I have a hard time trusting you, and I still do, but you still feel... a little different from some of the others for a reason I can't really pin. Maybe it's the first aid knowledge? Maybe it's because you do so much, and then think that you're worthless."

He really called me out like that. It stung a little; not the way my cheek stung, but still. I said nothing, taking that time to enjoy the patterns the wood made on his desk.

"You're not worthless. You were the only person to check on me after I'd run the meeting about Soap and Pickle, and I've noticed you do that with a few people. You don't stick around to see how bad it gets- you intervene and make the effort to prevent tragedy. That's far from worthless."

He walked around the desk and pulled me up by my arm, pointing off to the cafeteria door as he just kept on talking. "You gotta keep that attitude you had at the beginning, or else you're gonna be screwed like the rest of us. Maybe a nice apology could be a step in the right direction?"

I looked to where Paper pointed, and saw Microphone moving things around with a stomp in her step, while Trophy was consoling Bomb, who now had a large, blue bruise on the top of his foot. Paper probably knew I'd feel guilty if he pointed them out. Once he let go of me, I said nothing else to him and walked back over to the little quartet. I cleared my throat, and Microphone stopped what she was doing to look over at me.

"Oh, what? Did you get grounded? Do you have to say you're sowwy now?" She crossed her arms and looked me up and down, but I tried to keep my composure a little bit.

"No. I want to apologize to all of you. Paper's not making me do anything." Her eyes widened, but I knew I couldn't just stop there. "I shouldn't have said what I said to Pepper, about Bomb, or to you. I was out of control, and I'm sorry. If... you still need, I'd be happy to try and help you set up the party."

Microphone blankly stared at me for a long while before she smiled the tiniest bit and held her hand out in front of me.

"Alright then. I'm not Pepper or Bomb, but I'll call the grudge between US quits." I glanced at her hand, and then realized she was offering to shake on it, so we had a brief, but still firm (and slightly tense) handshake. "Now, we're just about done with the furniture. You can go get the snacks from the kitchen though. Tissues was making the food, but you can bring what he's finished out here." I nodded, and went right to the kitchen off the side of the cafeteria.

And as soon as I did, my heart dropped right into my stomach.