Mercenary |BTS JIMIN MERCENARY FF|

70

What... just... happened?' I muster the strenght to push out the words

'If I had to guess, I'd say the best sex of my life.' He chuckles

'I can't move. My legs don't work.' I giggle

'I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not.' He chuckled a little again. 'But I am sorry for what I did yesterday. I never should have said those things. Or act the way I did. I hurt you again, after promising I wouldn't do it.'

I dragged myself over to him, laying my head on his chest.
'It's okay. I'll love you no matter what you say or do to me.'

'I know. And that's not okay. You shouldn't be okay with me doing things like those. I shouldn't be doing them in the first place. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.' He hugged me gently, pulling me closer

'No one's perfect, Jimin. We all have flaws and make mistakes. You say harsh things when you're angry and push people away. I'm aware of that. But I am not with you to change you. I love you just the way you are. A bit rough around the edges.'

'I'm not just rough around the edges, Rain. I'm as sharp as a blade. I know how much harm my words can do. The moment I said those things, I saw how hurt you were. It looked like a little piece of your heart broke off, and it terrified me. I'm afraid one day I'll say something that you won't be able to get over, all because I can't control myself. You don't deserve that.'

'It's not like I help, pushing too much. I know how assertive and stubborn I am. It is suffocating.' I'm not blind to my flaws, and there are a lot

'You had every right to be. Instead of telling you what bothers me and talking to you, I behaved like a kid and ran away for hours, then hurt your feelings the first chance I got. I'm not a kid. I should be acting better than that.' His voice was full of frustration. He's angry with himself

'It's okay. At least we have something normal in our lives. Relationship arguments.' I joke

'And makeup sex.' He adds to the joke

'If this is how it's going to be, we should fight more often.' I giggle

'You are way too horny for your own good.' He pretends to flick me

'It's all because of you. It's not like I've ever been like this before. No one ever made me feel like this. In any way.'

'Nice to know I'm not alone in that.' He scoffed softly

'What was it like for you? Relationships, sex and all that?' We haven't really talked about this, but I'm not expecting anything normal anyway. I know mine isn't.

'Relationships non-existent. I never cared for anyone. I had to pretend I did a few times for work, and it honestly tired the shit out of me.' That made me laugh a bit too much.

'The longest I had to act was about a month. I needed to get information out of a girl that worked for a group we were trying to take down. Some Japanese cartel or something. And it seemed the only way that woman would talk was sex. And she was about as attractive to me as a piece of lettuce.'

I couldn't help it and I burst out laughing at the last part. 'A piece of lettuce.'

He started laughing along with me, 'I couldn't think of a better comparison.'

'Oh, God.' I had to wipe away a few tears. 'Was she your first?'

'No. My first was when I was about 16. I was out on a mission from Isui, getting some Intel on an enemy clan. Trying to get to it, I met this girl that was an intermediate for them. She was 22. I was a child compared to her, but she had no idea. I told her I was 20 and she believed me. How, fuck knows. But she actually fell in love with me and brought me to her place and all that. I had to pretend like I liked her and just go with it. All those damn classes, I suppose I picked up a thing or two. She told me everything after we had sex. I actually felt bad when they found her body. She was actually a nice girl. She didn't want anything to do with that cartel and was trying to get away. I suppose in a way she did.' He explained everything calmly

'I'm not sure if I should find it disturbing or not that you seduced a grown woman when you were only a child.' I chuckle

'I think after all we've seen and been through, that is the least disturbing thing in my life.' He sighs

'I suppose you have a point.'

'What about you?'

'Well, you know about the last thing I had, which was as fake as it gets. And relationship wasn't the only thing I was faking.' He was trying to hard not to laugh loudly. I could feel his body vibrating under my face, and him covering his face to stay quiet

'Apart from that, I did mention another guy. He was a pure assignment, and he was as dumb as you could be. Same like your case, he was my intel. I told him he's my first, and then I ended up telling him what to do. And somehow, he still managed to almost end up in my ass.'

I don't think I ever heard him laugh like this. He actually had to sit up because he ran out of air. He was quite literally crying, wheezing for air.

'I'm happy my past trauma makes you laugh this much.' I laugh along

'I'm sorry, I just can't.' He coughed a little, wiping the tears. 'How do you fuck up that bad?'

'I honestly have no explanation for that idiot.' I shake my head. I get annoyed just thinking about it.

'Was your first time any better at least?'

'I had to spend a night with a guy who had a fetish for virgins, so I'd say no. I was 17, and he was 27. He told Isui to send him a virgin, and he'll help him close a deal with a chinese mafia.'

All the laughter from a minute ago went away and was now replaced by disgust and anger. 'Out of the entire cartel he sent his daughter?'

'Is it really surprising? That man was a monster.' I scoff

'Did he hurt you?' He swallowed loudly

'No. Weirdly enough, he was gentle. The only bit that hurt was the initial push. It was uncomfortable after that, but he didn't hurt me. I can't say I enjoyed either. I hated every moment, and I spent weeks crying after it happened. I hoped to at least have my first time with someone I chose.' I chuckle. 'What a dumb thought.'

'I'm so sorry.' He placed my head in the crook of his neck, holding me close

'I don't see why you're apologizing. None of it is your fault. It's not like you had it any better, either.' I kiss the little spot on his neck

'In the least, I wasn't raped.' He squeezed me harder

'I wasn't.. technically. I didn't exactly fight it or anything. I just shut myself off as it happened.'

'What's his name? The guy?' I couldn't see him, but I could feel his jaw clenching

'He is long gone. I killed him myself.'

'Lucky for him. He would beg for death.'

I giggled a little, thinking about how he would actually track the guy down and kill him for something that happened years ago.

'I wasn't joking.' He comments at my giggle

'I know. That's why I laughed. The fact that you would go that far for me makes me happy. I never imagined you to be like this.'

He gently pulled me on his lap, having me sit on him and face him. 'Rain,' he cupped my face with both hands, 'you have no idea how far I would go for you.'

'Would you run with me? If we could leave, live a new life, would you go with me?' My voice was barely there. Last time I asked him this, he shut me down.

He pulled me in, kissing me softly, his fingers sliding in my hair. He pulled away shortly after, looking into my eyes once again.

'I would run with you to the end of the world.'