Mercenary |BTS JIMIN MERCENARY FF|

119

RAIN POV

He held my hand as we went upstairs, and once again, he stopped right in front of my room.
I just stopped with him, letting him do his thing.

'Wanna go in?' I ask

'What's in there?' He turns to me

'Open and find out.' I smile a little. 'It's safe.'

He slowly reached for the handle and opened the door, walking inside equally slowly.
His eyes were darting around quite a bit before he decided to talk.
'This is your room, isn't it?'

'Mhm.' I confirm. 'Or.. it was. It still is, but I only use it for the closet. If I'm not stealing your clothes.'

'You wear my clothes?'

'This shirt sure isn't mine.' I smile as I look down at myself. The black, baggy shirt falls almost to my thighs.

'That's mine?'

I looked up at him, nodding in confirmation.
'If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I'll change.'

'No need to do that. It's okay.' That was the tiniest of smiles, but it was a smile

'Did... did something happen in here?' He asks, looking around again

'I mean... a lot of things happened here.' I giggled at my own joke, and he just smiled a little
'But... this is where you told me you loved me for the first time.' I added a bit more quietly

He didn't know what to say to that, and I don't blame him. He doesn't remember, and whatever he feels at the moment, it's not love.

'It's okay.' I force a smile. I don't want to worry him for no reason. He's got bigger problems than my feelings right now

'It's not. It's anything but okay.' He mumbles. 'I see it on your face that it hurts you. These things that I can't remember... Even if you say it's okay, you don't Iook like it is.'

Maybe he does know me better than he thinks.

'Jimin, none of this is your fault.' I kept my voice soft as I took a step closer to him. 'You didn't choose this, and no one blames you for any of this. Especially not me.'

Again, silence. He was looking down, avoiding looking at me.

'Maybe you can't remember. Maybe you won't get it back either. But maybe.... just maybe... you can learn to love me again.'

'And if I can't?'

'Then I'll accept the pain that comes with it. But I still won't blame you. You can't control how you feel any more than I can.'

'It would have been better if they just killed me.' He was looking down again, his voice almost cracking

In a way, he's right. They took his life away from him. They took him away from me. Even though the man in front of me is the one I fell in love with, he's also not. But at least he's here.

'Please, don't say that.' I threw myself at him, trying to hide the tears in my eyes as I hugged him. 'If you die, I might as well die, too.'

'I'm not worth all this effort.'

We were both shocked at the slap that landed on his left cheek. But maybe it will set some of those loose screws back together.

'Don't ever say that again.' I am trying to sound threatening, but all I'm doing is chocking on my tears

What is wrong with me? I can't take my feelings out on him.

'I thought it was safe in here.' He tried to joke, but he was rubbing his cheek lightly