Mercenary |BTS JIMIN MERCENARY FF|

114

JIMIN POV

She is definitely not lying. Everything she told me... I know I have no reason to, but I believe her.

I even told her about Mabuchi, which I never should have done. But she didn't ask where I'm living or where he is.

She did, however, hug me. She clung to me, telling me how they've been trying to save me. It took me by surprise, her sudden burst of affection, and she tried to let go when she noticed. But I didn't want her to.

When she held onto me like that, it felt like whatever was wrong, at that very moment, it was all alright.  That feeling of calmness hit strongly. The feeling of her fingers in my hair, the scent of her hair... I feel like I've missed it.

And when I hugged her, pulling her closer, she broke down and started crying. She's been holding that in for a while. I could see it on her face, especially in her eyes.

'What's wrong?' I don't know what to do, but I want to help her

'I miss you. Please come back to me.' She was sobbing lightly at she kept gripping my shirt around the collar

'I'll try. I don't know much, but I don't feel like I belong there. Not like I do here.' I must have loved her a lot, based on how I feel around her

'I love you. I'll wait however long. Just come back. I can't live without you.' Her voice was cracking even though she was talking quietly. The tears are getting to her. And her words are getting to me.

'I heard those words before...'

'Yes, you have.' She nodded against my throat

'Rain... can I ask you something crazy?'

'Anything.' Agreeing so fast....

'Can I kiss you?'

As expected, she didn't expect it.
She looked at me in surprise, her eyes opening more. I don't know how to explain why I want to do this, but it's... it's like I have to. Like I need to.

'Whenever you touch me, I feel like my brain jolts a little. I start remembering feelings or words. Maybe if I kiss you-'

She wouldn't even let me finish.
She kissed me without a second thought, almost melting in my arms. Her body was so closely stuck to mine that I could feel her heart beating. And it wasn't just beating. It was racing. But so was mine.

My body knows hers. I feel where she's going to touch me before she does it. Like muscle memory. Especially our lips.

I think she's trying to be mindful of me, so she's pulling herself back. I can almost feel how much she wants this, but is stopping herself.

Her lips on mine are such a well-known feeling. Right about now, it feels like I've missed it. My mind is truly playing tricks on me. I can almost taste her lips even now that we've pulled away from each other. God knows how many times we've done this.

'I know this feeling. I remember. I remember the feeling of your lips.' Nothing to hide. I can be honest with her.

'Maybe we should have sex, to see if you remember.'

Her joke got me a bit. I didn't see that one coming.

'Jimin... can I kiss you again?'
Still sitting on me, she hasn't moved an inch. Her hands are still behind my neck, and her eyes are glued to my lips.

Weird thing is, I want it just as badly.

All I did was run my hand into her hair, and her lips were back on mine, and this time, she didn't pull back.

The kiss was desperate, and we both kept pulling and gripping on each other, both of us struggling to catch our breath as the kisses got deeper. I felt her smiling a little before kissing me again. And again. And again. Each time our lips met was more needy than the last.

I had to pull away after a long minute, just to breathe. She took the phrase "take my breath away" literally. But in the best way.

'I'm sorry. I couldn't stop myself.' She was breathing just like me, her forehead against mine as she held my face in her hands, her gentle fingers caressing my jaw

'It's okay. I don't mind.' I don't want her feeling guilty for kissing her own husband. I may not remember, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that we've done way more than kiss.

'Did it help at all?' She mumbles

I nodded a little, pulling a bit away. 'I remember how it felt. All of it. The kiss, the desire, the desperation... I can feel it all. It's strange in a way. Remembering a feeling of something you can't remember doing.'

'We'll fix you. I'll fix you.' She hugged me tight, hiding her face in my neck once more. 'I promise I'll do everything I can do save you. I promise. I promise.' Her soft lips touched the skin on my neck, leaving the tiniest of pecks on it

Until two weeks ago, I've been on a certain path of ending this girl's life. And now I'm holding her in my arms as she's kissing me, and I'm weirdly happy about it.
There's nothing to think about. I need to get myself back, or whatever it is that can fix me.

'Those guys... they've been looking for Mabuchi, too?'

'Mhm.' She nodded again. 'If you want, we can go downstairs, and we will run you through everything that you can't remember. They want to help you just as much as I do.'

'Do I need to kiss them, too?'

I guess this worked as she started giggling cutely.
'You're an idiot.'

'But you smiled.' I felt a little smile on my own face. I don't really smile much, but something about her makes me want to. The more I'm with her, the more I realise the weight behind her words. I do love her. I just need to remember it.

'Before we go down, I need to say something.' She pulled away from me, letting go of me completely. She was looking down at her hands, looking as nervous as you could get. 'I'm sorry.'

'What for?' I'm confused as it is. She's gonna need to be clearer.

'I kissed someone else. I was-'

'It's that buff guy from downstairs. I know.' I mean, I saw them. I recognised her from a mile away.

'How do you-'

'I saw you, obviously. It was a good hiding strategy, but I've noticed you the moment you left that restaurant. I just wasn't in the mood to commit murder in the middle of the day in the street, so I chose to ignore it.'

'I see.' She nodded. 'That was only to hide from you. It really didn't mean a thing. I promise. We were both kind of weirded out by it.' She even grimaced a bit as she said it

'It's alright. I truly don't mind.' I reached for her face, moving her hair a little, tucking it being her ear. 'I did try to kill you multiple times. I think I can ignore a kiss or two.' I smiled to let her know that I truly don't mind. The way she kissed me told me more than enough on how she feels.

'So... you're not gonna divorce me?' Is this really what she's worried about?

I tried to stay serious, but her silly worry made me laugh more than it should. I almost killed her a million times. I can't even remember her properly. And she is worried about me divorcing her.

'And I'm the idiot?' I couldn't help but laugh

That smile on her face is bright like the sun. 'I miss you so damn much.' She can't stop hugging me and touching me. She must be suffering so much.

Come on, Jimin. Remember her. For both your sakes.