Shadow Butcher (LokixAvengersxOC)

I am a broken Goddess

Two strong but secure arms sling under my armpits in an attempt to lift me from the ground. Loki ushers me to the couch, which Steve and Thor turned over so we could sit down on it.

"I'm fucked, I'm so fucking fucked up," I mutter multiple times until Loki finally wraps his arms around me and leaves a lot of kisses on my head to shush me.

"You hide one of the biggest facts that matters. You're the goddess of death. Why didn't you tell us?!", Tony exclaims after he too gets out from the shock of what just happened.

"Tony," Steve scolds softly.

The chest underneath me vibrates as Loki snarls, "You aren't making it any better, Stark."

My hands curl into fists. The fabric of Loki's shirt knitters in between my palms. With a final hard beat of my heart, I push myself away from him and jump on my feet.

"Yes, you say it yourself! I am the Goddess of Death who everyone fears," I shout breathlessly and my eyes prick with tears but I still them.

I didn't want to seem weak in front of them. At the moment I rather tried to look intimidating. It didn't matter anymore how softly I would retell my story. Because right now, I can't. All I want is to let it out so it gets out of my chest. I need the weight to be replaced for my pregnancy. No matter what, I can't keep it and I need to find a way to get rid of it. I can't give a child a home in this fucked up time. For goodness sake, I can't even look after myself.

I take a menacing step towards Tony, and lucky for him, Loki holds onto my wrist. Instead, I slump back onto Loki's lap with Natasha on our right side. She nods at us assuringly, telling us in silence that she's with us no matter what.

With a shuddering breath, I whisper, "Wherever I go, there's death. Is that what you wanted to tell me? Because of the time when I witnessed your parents' assassination? We still haven't talked it out yet. So, go on. Tell me that I'm the heartless killer who searches for souls to take into my realm."

Tony's jaw clenches as Loki pulls me back, "Darling. By all means, what is it with your attitude? You know damn well, none of it was your fault."

I scoff and turn on my heels to yank my wrist out of his grasp. "Oh, really? Then tell me how the fuck an organization run by humans could break me? I didn't fight back as I should have done it. Instead, I fucked with Steve's best friend who too got brainwashed and now sits in his bedroom!"

Tony's gaze snaps towards Steve, while Steve looks very disappointed at me before his face softens as his eyes dart to Tony who is trembling from rage. Tony bores a finger on Steve's chest and I hear him hiss something at him but Steve holds his hand to stop him from harming him in any way.

"Tony, yes, he's in my room. We wanted to tell you but then one of your inventions tried to kill us," Steve says soft but demanding.

At least Tony realises his mistake but he still does look hurt. His eyes move around the place until he meets my stare. He opens his mouth but shuts it close when he glances behind me.

Everybody follows his gaze and there he stands at the stairs of the big entrée. Bucky is in a plain white tank top and his combat trousers.

"You know what," Tony speaks up to get everyone's attention, "we talk about this later. Right now we have some more serious issues to get in order. In which, by the fact, I know I messed something up but I am telling it to you right now which you didn't."

When my eyes dart back to the stairs, Bucky has left again. I sigh exhausted and walk over to Tony. Although Loki tries to snatch my arm again, I slap him away with a growl that would have matched Anubis'.

I grab Tony's biceps and lean to his ear, "I enjoyed my presence with all of you. I lived for almost a thousand years in the upper world and I've experienced many times how the humans acted when they found out who I truly am."

Tony's face softens, his eyes almost turning into guilt. That is also an expression I hate to see. Even more, since I left HYDRA. Because it is fucking pathetic for the most fearful goddess to be tortured by weak humans.

"But we aren't normal, Shade," Clint comments with a smile which makes me let go of Tony in surprise by his words. "I  mean," he jogs over to Thor and Steve who stand side by side and give them a clap on their backs, "We are the Avengers. We have two Gods and you. Two Super soldiers, a man with money and a metal suit. A scientist with anger issues, a skilled spy, and an agent with a bow and arrows."

"If Tony allows me to speak for him," Bruce waits for Tony to agree which he nods in return, "Is that he's sorry for you to go through all that stuff? I don't want to imagine it but it seems you must be exhausted to be rejected all this time."

I look to the ground and start to scratch the skin of my thumbs. Such a speech from these petty humans can make my mind, a goddess' mind, go into override.

They were right. The Avengers aren't normal people. They're extraordinary and that is why Nick Fury himself put them together in a group for a better world. And I was on that team even though I still can't understand why.

I snap back to reality when Tony puts an arm around my shoulder. From the corner of my eye, I can see how Loki abruptly stands up protectively but Nat holds him back. Loki is tense but stands his ground.

"Banner couldn't say it better. But in my words. You didn't deserve to be treated the way HYDRA did. Not even silent dead upstairs. I'm still not over it yet what you did with my parents but it wasn't your intention either. Which I want to make it clear to all of you," Tony turns around and raises his voice, "The thing with Ultron shouldn't suppose to happen."

"But you still let it happen," Loki growls in the back through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, but what I intended to do, is to make earth a bit more secure."

I clear my throat and wipe away my tears before I ask, "What do we do now?"

"I'll go check on Bucky. I'll meet you all in the lab. Let's see if we can figure out how to solve the problem Stark created," Cap commands and leaves first.

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Author's Note:

Well, the cat got out of the bag.