❝And she did the drugs for fun
But now she does them just to stay up❞
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I'm a half smoked cigarettes girl, a tiny tops and eye glitter girl, a quick and cheap girl. The female version of a playboy. Sexy, sweet, sour, anyth...
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"I almost think, your fucking beautiful." Jack said, tying my swimsuit top behind my neck. I smiled at him in the mirror.
"We should take one of those pictures." I smirked, because it was embarrassing to ask him.
"And what picture would that be?"
"you know on instagram or pinterest...."
"No."
"Those photos of guys with their hands on their girlfriends tits and she's holding the phone?"
He laughed.
"If you post it anywhere I will kill you myself."
I did notice though, he changed his wallpaper. It's been two days, since what I'm calling the incident. Jack hasn't said anything about it. However, he's been acting more like a boyfriend than ever. He made me toast yesterday, and this morning he woke me up with two fingers inside me. I know he feels bad, and I've forgiven him. He didn't do anything wrong.
"Lets go." He said taking my hand, we were going swimming at the hot springs. Which wasn't my event, but all of my old friends would be there. Alcohol and drugs would be a main event in it. Because i've never gone swimming sober.
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I loved the rumble of Jack's truck. Anytime I needed to think or needed some space, I could always count on the souped up engine to drown out my thoughts.
"I got somethin for you." Jack said starting the car.
"Herpes?"
He grimaced. I watched him fish around in his pocket for a minute. The contents of which he threw around the truck. Pills, a lighter, three rolled up dollar bills and a broken straw. Typical. Finally he pulled out a needle, and a little brown baggie. Pulling the car off the side of the road he smiled.
"surprise"
I'm not a fucking angel. Everybody knows that. Me, my parents, Jack, and the cops. But I'd made a promise when I took my first line, and crushed that first pill. That I would never do H. I knew my real mom, the woman who gave me to child services sixteen years ago, shot up on the daily. I knew what those little brown bags could do to your life. I smiled, because it couldn't get any worse than that.
Needles hurt, I made my hand hand into a fist, I let Jack shoot me up, I pressed my head against the window.
"Oh fuck." I said, watching my hot breath make steam on the window.
"Feels good?"
"better than sex."
Jack took the needle out of my arm and I sunk into my chair. As he drove, I let my mind wander. Out of the truck, back to California, where I'd had residential therapy for three months. The night I'd gotten home I'd smoked a blunt on Katiana's deck. You can make someone get clean, but you can't make them stay clean. Two weeks after that, I overdosed. My mom's last memory of me was the paramedics performing cpr on her first and only daughter. Telling her that if I closed my eyes, I wasn't going to wake up.
"How ya feeling baby?" Jack asked, putting his hand on my thigh. I was having a decent amount of trouble staying awake, or processing his question.
"It's... it's hittin." I drawled, my voice low and raspy.
He moved his hand, up my thigh a bit. I was only wearing a g string bikini that didn't leave anything to the imagination. He pushed it to the side, moving his fingers up and down on my clit. I gasped softly,
"I'm gonna give you the best fucking orgasm of your life honey."
He wasn't lying either. He made me sing the abc's by the time I got to m my legs were shaking around his fingers. My whole body went numb. It felt like fireworks. He re adjusted my swimsuit and smirked. Just as we pulled into the hot springs. I saw Katiana first, Isobel and Axel stripping. Skinny dipping. Jack untied my top and pulled off my bottoms. I felt weirdly exposed in front of him. As if he hadn't been making me cum on his hand. I stepped out of the car, feeling as if I was walking through a faze.
"Oh shitt" Katiana screamed running over to me. My uneasy feet weren't doing me any favours. I stumbled into her arms. I'll give it to her, she had fucking amazing tits. I leaned against her.
"Babes you feeling okay?" She asked, glancing at the track mark on my arm, still lightly bleeding. Jack walked over pulling me against him.
"Shot her up 10 minutes ago, she's not even here." He laughed running a hand over my navel.
"Jack, you look like a sight for sore eyes!" Axel said strolling over. It was only than, I realized I felt like I was watching a TV screen flicker on and off. I was fading, in and out of consciousness, leaning more into Jack's protective arms. I let my head rest on his shoulder. Like I wanted to stay there forever.
"Get the poor girl a drink." I distantly heard Katiana say, and the sound of a bottle popping. I opened my mouth for her and felt the fizz of champagne against my tongue. I swallowed hard. Opening my mouth again.
"Here's to senior year!" Katiana said, as I swallowed again.
