❝And she did the drugs for fun
But now she does them just to stay up❞
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I'm a half smoked cigarettes girl, a tiny tops and eye glitter girl, a quick and cheap girl. The female version of a playboy. Sexy, sweet, sour, anyth...
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Dear Summer,
Jack hit me again. It was early in the morning. I'd practically just woken up. I knew he was bipolar. I wanted to know if he was actually taking his meds. He does, but he got mad. So mad, he strangled me it felt like, and he... he touched me. To put it more plainly he raped me. He hurt me, he fucked me up. Everyday I wake up and I think it's going to happen again. He's my boyfriend now, he asked me late last night. He said he'd never hurt me again which I believe. But also Summer, I write this letter in a mild bit of anger, towards you. Jack made a good point, he's all I have. He's the only person who hasn't walked out on me. Unlike you, and my parents. I'm not that bad sister. I was a kid, a misunderstood, abandoned kid.
So you can go on and say how I'm verbally and mentally abusive. But you're wrong. I wasn't any of those things. I've been through more shit in the past two months than most people go through in an entire fucking lifetime. I can't believe that in the hospital I'd asked for you. Because in reality, I don't need you and I don't need mom and dad. I need myself, and Jack. Because that's all I'm ever going to have. They're the only ones who haven't walked out on me. Unlike all of you guys, Jack knows what it feels like to be abandoned. That's why he's never going to leave me. I've had everyone else in this whole fucked up world walk out on me, including you.
Yeah, I know you said you'd always be here for me. But you have your own family now. I do to, because at the end of the day the only people there for you are the ones who keep your secrets, the ones who hold you while you cry. The people who know you can't force somebody to get clean. You can't force someone to recover mentally. You can't make someone love you. If they don't want too. You say you still love me, but if someone loves you, would they go through your phone? Would they go and make it look like you were the villain in every situation. You called the cops on me Summer. You could've put me in jail. I thought family didn't snitch. Clearly I was wrong.
Now that I know what real love is, I don't need anybody else besides Jack. My love, my boyfriend and more importantly he's what real family is. He's been there when I fell. There's nothing I could do to get him to leave me. Like everybody else has. Like you did. So Summer, I guess this is Goodbye. For now, until a year has past and I've decided my emotions aren't worth it. Maybe you'll see this letter one day, and realize the only person you hurt was me. But that was the goal wasn't it? I didn't get better I got worse. I got so much worse.
