Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r S e v e n t y - O n e

                                                              PART SEVENTY ONE

                                                     ❝I'll always love you❞

I pressed my face into Jack's chest. He was warm, and I could feel his heart beat against my ear. I curled closer to him, and he placed a hand on my back. Evie lay next to him, his other arm wrapped around her small body. I will admit, again, I fixed us again. I picked up what had happened before, and buried it so deep in my heart I couldn't remember it. Now, I was going to live in a world where everything was okay, in a world that I hadn't shown up at the very same house Leonard had taken me too. The fact that this time, I'd actually enjoyed it.

I let myself, briefly feel happy, in the arms of the man that I loved, my beautiful daughter next to me. I was tired. There was a knock on the door. Jack looked over at me. I, like any time we were in bed together was lacking in clothes. Jack, who luckily was wearing sweatpants answered the door. The man standing there, was only the pizza delivery driver. I sank back against the pillows sighing. Maybe that's what was nice about, living in the city, you could order pizza in the middle of the motherfucking night.

Jack turned to me as I unraveled myself from the sheets. He sighed, opening the pizza box and handing me a slice. Cheese and Pepperoni. I took a big bite smiling at him. It was these moments, standing in our underwear, the cheap light flickering above us, eating cheap cheese pizza, our daughter asleep on our bed. It was these moments, where I felt like we were a family, unconventional at best. 

I leaned against him. Still eating my pizza, this time it was Jack who smiled. He wrapped his arm around me, again. I looked up at him, his sparkling blue eyes looking at me, he kissed me then. It wasn't perfect, we weren't perfect. But behind his eyes, the same ones I'd always loved, there was still love in them. 

"I fucking love you." I said, surprising even myself. Jack removed his lips from mine, running a hand along my back. He smiled, the type of smile that made girls crazy for him. Somehow I was the girl who was crazy for him. He didn't reply, only kissed me more. His breath smelled like cheese pizza and cigarettes, the taste some people would've found revolting. But for some reason, it reminded me of home. 

Jack, wrapped my leg around his waist. I closed my eyes. Leaning into the feeling I had missed for months. The feeling, of being loved by someone I loved more than I thought possible. Our bodies, somehow still so accustomed to each other melted into each other. My lips against his, his hands on my waist. There was too much I didn't know, but the one thing I did know was that this was love. 

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At work, the previous nights events flickered in my head. The way I'd clung to him, how fast my remaining clothes came off, how I had led him to the bathroom and he'd pinned me to the door. The smile, that of a seventh grade girl who's reading a book she's not supposed to, glazed over my face.

"The fuck's got you in such a good mood?" Leonard asked, as I leaned against the wall in the break room, my lips to the flask still smiling. Leonard, emptied three pills from the orange bottle he carried in his pocket, into his hand. He offered me one, which I plucked from his hand. I smirked. 

"Fuck if I know, I don't question my emotions much anymore." I said, laughing a little bit. If I felt someway, I would just let myself feel that way for however long it lasted.

"No druggie does." Leonard laughed around his cigarette, which he seemed to have produced from nowhere. I held out my hand, and he placed one in my hand giving me another smirk. I rolled my eyes. I did want to know though, a question that had been lingering in my mind for a long time.

"Leonard, how long have you been selling girls like that?" I asked, through gritted teeth. Because, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer. Leonard turned to me, his lanky frame leaning against the wall.

"Ion sell girls Kaitlyn, I take them there, I know you went back, because its easy you just gotta lay there and look pretty, and get money tossed in your hand." He said, puffing on the cigarette. I nodded.

"So what do you get out of it?" I asked, and he shrugged. Not meeting my eyes.

"It's easy, course you went back feeding your little drug habit." He muttered. I nodded, he had a point.

"I used the money to buy clothes for my little girl." I muttered.

"and heroin." He gestured to the fresh track marks lining my arms. He shrugged.

"Not judging you, just be honest."

I was anything, but fucking honest. I ashed my cigarette on the ground near my beat up sneakers. I stood, checking the time on my phone. I had to go back inside, serve warm beer to drunk men, and vodka cranberry's to girls who were most likely underage. Most days at work, I was to high or too drunk to care about the well-being of others.