Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r F i f t y- N i n e

                                                                           PART FIFTY NINE

                                                          ❝Nobody is coming to save you, get up. ❞

I woke up, during the night. Reaching across sheets for a hand that was not there. I felt as though I was watching my own life fall apart, as I had done so many times before. I was sweating, my head was pounding and I was drunk. Only my plain white t shirt that smelled like death itself. I rolled onto my side. Feeling my own hip bone digging into the rock hard materess. I wondered if my daughter had given up on me too. I rolled back over. There was the sound of jingling keys in the door and I pulled myself up against the pillows.

The person who filled the doorway was Jack. I felt my heart rate quicken. 

"Kaitlyn?" He asked, leaning against the door. I dragged my heavy body from bed. We stood there, him in the doorway me looking at him like a demon, for a long time. He made a step toward me and I put my hand up.

"No, just don't." I said. I scooped Evie into my arms, her tiny body coiled into my arms her eyes Flicking open staring at me. 

"Kaitlyn." Jack said again, this time as a statement. I turned to him. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Because I love you."

I raised my eyebrows. Fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Jack walked over and sat on the bed. I settled down next to him.

"So why'd you do it?" I asked, because I needed to know.

"Because, everything. I don't want to go to jail, I don't want our child growing up without a father. I was mad about, Jason and then you just, pissed me off." He said shrugging.

"We all say things sometimes, but we not things like that. How do you think that made me feel Jack?" 

He turned to me, his face a wash with confusion.

"What happened to us.." He trailed off.

This, was a great question. We had, for a short time been okay. Back before I'd been pregnant, back when we sat on the porch and smoked, back before we were serious. 

"I guess we weren't right for each other." I said shrugging.

"We would've been better off as fuck buddies, and junkies, than husband and wife and parents." Jack replied, smiling a little sadly. I laid down on the bed. Jack rolled onto his side to face me. 

"We were good though, the parties, the sex was off the chain, the getting high and have nothing to care about. That was dope, back before we were trying to keep a baby alive, and be committed."

I nodded, he had a decent point. I remembered Leo, and Wyatt, and Alex, and the lanky bartender, because even though I loved Jack there was the piece of me that wanted everything else. He was right, we were good. But maybe we were good because I relied on him for everything. I still did, if I didn't have his money I'd be doing lines off dirt, couch surfing and living in a car.

"We can still try, right?" I asked, gesturing to Evie. Jack nodded looking at her lovingly, how he used to look at me when things were good.

"Sure we can, for a little while." He said. That's when I remembered, why we were good.

"So, we can just fuck sometimes, get high and not like love each other?" I asked. Jack nodded shrugging.

"Sure, that's what made it fun right?"

"I guess so." 

I handed Evie to him. I grabbed for the bottle on the nighstand, not much was left in it and I'm sure half of it was water than vodka. I raised the bottle to Jack as I walked towards the bathroom. Stripping off my sweaty clothes, I stepped into the cold shower, running a hand through my tangled hair. I brushed through my hair, scrubbed my body till my skin was red and raw and my entire body hairless. Stepping from the shower, i took three healthy swigs of alcohol before pulling jeans and my work shirt. Which was simply a black T shirt with the name Red's on it.

My hair, still damp ended up in half braids. Jack smiled when I walked out of the bathroom, he gestured to the floor. I saw my daughter, crawling to me. Unsteady, but as she reached my feet I scooped her up.

"My girl! You're crawling!" I said spinning her around in my arms. She laughed, the small little laugh I had loved.

Jack stood and took her from my arms, kissing her on the forehead. 

"Good job Kiddo!" He exclaimed setting her down on the floor again.

"I've gotta go to work." I said tipping the bottle to my lips. Jack gave me a pat on the back. 

"You got a job?"

I traced the words of my shirt, Red's.. 

"Bar huh?" He asked and I nodded. 

"On account of I let the bartender/manager go down on me." I shrugged kissing Evie goodbye. Jack grinned.

"Feels weird telling that to my husband." I said sliding on my shoes and grabbing my wallet. Jack nodded. Finishing the bottle I threw it in the trash before leaving. I turned to him one last time.

"Hey make sure, now that she's crawling to not leave any drugs or stuff on the floor." I said, clicking the door closed behind me.