Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r F o r t y- F i v e

                                                                       PART FORTY FIVE

                   ❝How many scars I justified, because I loved the man holding the knife.❞

I was right. When I said a crash was coming. When I came into the kitchen in the morning. I saw Jack, sprawled on the couch with my daughter in his arms. Her eyes were open but she was not moving. I pried his hands off her. Taking her into my arms. Taking a swig from the half empty bottle of vodka I pulled a bottle from the fridge to give Evie. I glanced over at Jack who'd rolled over to continue sleeping. 

"Come on baby time to get up sweetheart." I said, kissing him on the cheek. He shook his head and rolled back over. 

"Rise and shine Jack." I whispered, pressing my tongue against his ear. He didn't say anything. It was 10am, normally at this time Jack was dressed and on his way to "work". However right now, he was pretending to be asleep. I switched Evie to my left hip. She smiled at me. At least one person was smiling at me.

I will admit, my life was getting mildly boring. All I did was cook, clean, take care of my child, while Jack got to go to parties, sell drugs, and hang out with my old friends. I placed a cup of coffee next to Jack, and bounced Evie on my hip.

"I'm taking the truck, getting food." I said. This was half truth, and half I just wanted to get out of this house. 

In the car, Evie bawled her eyes out. Having a daughter who hated the car killed me on some days. I pulled into the city market parking lot and ruffled around for the food stamps. Jack took  food stamps in exchange for drugs. We weren't flush by any means, after the apartment, the wedding, and taking care of our child without insurance we were fresh out. I had Evie in a chest carrier rubbing her back as we walked through the store. I grabbed mac and cheese, formula, popcorn, sour patch kids, lettuce, soups, cookies, pasta,  and picked up Jack's meds. 

"Oh my god little one, look they have pink bibs honey." I said, sickeningly sweetly even to my own ears. They were cute, adorably so actually. I ruffled through the one dollar bills I had saved up. I glanced toward the doors, and the cashiers. I slipped the bibs into Evie's diaper bag. Speaking of stealing, I took a bottle of sparkling Prosecco, from the shelf and slid it it under Evie's carrier. I smirked, feeling the old feel of adrenaline coursing through my body again.

Walking to self checkout, I grabbed a pack of gum and scanned it, I payed the dollar and bagged everything else. I flipped my hood on before walking out the door.

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"Hey lover, I've got your meds." I said shutting the door behind me. Jack wasn't sitting at the table or smoking out the window.

"Babe?" I asked. Placing Evie down on the floor. I glanced up to see Jack on the couch with eight beer cans laying around him. I sighed.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" I asked placing my hand against his forehead. He groaned.

"Come on time to get up." I asked, pulling on his arms. He was limp in my arms. I sighed glancing over at Evie who was stuffing a rattle in her mouth. I climbed on top of Jack kissing his neck.

"Come on babe lets get up." I whispered, sliding my hands into his pants, I ran my hand along the line of his boxers and he sighed.

"I just wanna sleep." He said against me. I groaned. I slid off of him. I found his three bottles of meds and tried to get him to open his mouth. He did not.

"Did you take your meds baby?" I tried again. He flipped off the couch.

"You know whats really fucking annoying?" He asked standing over me. I backed up.

"You not getting off the couch for half the day?" I joked, trying to calm my jangling nerves. He shook his head reaching for neck. I ducked under his hand. I watched rage glimmer in his eyes. I glanced toward my daughter, still busy with the rattle.

"NO. You not letting me fucking sleep, bothering me, trying to make me take meds I do not fucking need. AND not making our daughter shut the fuck up." He said, as Evie had begun crying. I did not feel, so much as hear Jack's fist make contact with my cheek, or with my nose. I felt my body crumple against the wall. I pressed my fingers to my bleeding nose. Jack was towering over me. He grabbed me by the neck shoving me farther into the wall. 

"Listen very fucking carefully." He said squeezing my neck harder. 

"I will fucking sleep when I want too, you will take care of our fucking daughter. You are a fucking shit wife, expecting me to actually fucking care about you. I married you, so you would not fucking leave me. not because I love you." He said grabbing one of the beer bottles from the floor. I backed into the wall as far as I could. The sound of glass breaking, and a firey exploding feeling errupted from my shoulder. I felt myself involuntarily scream. Jack dropped me to the floor. Then he was so close to me I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Next time I won't be so fucking nice." He spat. I felt my body sinking into the floor. I let my eyes shut.

When I re gained consciousness the first thing I heard was my daughter screaming. It took all the strength in my body to grab her from her pack-n-play. I made for the door. This was it, I was taking my child anywhere but here. Jack moved fast from the kitchen. I was halfway out the door now.

"You can leave, but over my dead body will you take my child." He said grabbing one of Evie's arms. I pulled on the rest of her body, making her scream more. I kicked him, hard in the shins, he went reeling backward. That's when I ran. I took my daughter and ran, sprinted I had no clue where I was going. But I knew it was going to be far away from here.