Addicted | ✔

C h a p t e r S e v e n t y - E i g h t

                                                              PART SEVENTY EIGHT

                                         ❝God I'm begging, let me pick this once.❞

When I stumbled out of rehab, thirty days later, the first thing I saw was Leo holding my baby.  My smiling, happy baby. Who looked years older. As soon as she saw me she reached her hands out for me, her eyes bright 

"Mommy, momma." She exclaimed as I took her from Leo. He smiled at me. I knew I looked different, it's amazing what thirty days of being cold turkey off everything expect cigarettes does to a person. I could now visibly see my baby bump, I'd watched the life return to my body. Leo grinned.

"You look, like you." He said embracing me, careful not to squish Evie. 

I nodded and pulled away from him. In my pocket was a letter to him, it wasn't part of the twelve steps, but in all the free time I had not doing drugs I wrote to him. I handed him the crinkled piece of paper. He pocketed it.

"I did it." I said, throwing my hands up, the universal sign of defeat.

"Yes, yes you did, he said. He looked like a proud father. 

He opened the car door for me, i declined sitting in the front seat and crawled in the back. I watched Leo strap Evie into her carseat. It was strange, watching another man who wasn't my husband taking care of my baby. She'd gained weight, and I could tell. It made me feel a twinge of guilt, knowing I hadn't been good to her. She stared at me, as we drove in silence for a minute. Leo pulled into a seven-eleven and I raised my eyebrows.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, he shrugged as if he didn't know either. He instructed me to stay in the car, which I happily obliged to be sitting next to my baby again, I didn't ever want to let her out of my sight ever again. Two minutes later Leo returned, with two Big Gulps in his hand. He handed me one, and I realized it was an icee the blue one. I blushed.

"You remembered my favorite." I said smiling. He nodded, turning around in his chair I realized how tired he looked, and the twinge of guilt came back to stab me. I gave me him a small smile.

"How will I ever repay you, for what you've done for me?" I asked, and he shook his head taking a swig of his icee, the red one. I motioned for him to step out of the car, and roll up the windows. It was chilly out, but not so bad. I lit a cigarette and Leo raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He gestured to my baby bump, and I sighed. I knew I still wasn't doing good enough, but I was still trying.

"Hey Katelyn I needa tell you something, and I'm sorry." He said leaning against the car, I glanced at Evie, who was busy eating cheerios out of her carseat. I turned to Leo. He took a deep breath. I was waiting for him to tell me CPS wanted to take my baby, or that I was being arrested after all this time.

"Jack, he's - he went to jail a week after you went in." Leo said, in a rush of breath. I sucked in air, during rehab I had thought a lot about Jack and what had happened between us. With the therapist I'd been assigned I'd told her about the abuse I endured, the abuse my child endured, and the abuse Jack suffered at my hands. A mother who put her child in horrible circumstances.

"Where?" I whispered, Leo made a gesture toward the road.

"Florence, the US Penitentary. 8-10 depending on his behavior." Leo said looking at me sadly. I nodded, I knew the cops would want to talk to me too. But I didn't want to think about that right now.

"I need to see him." I said, feeling stings in the corners of my eyes. I stomped my cigarette out on the ground and took another swig of the Icee. Leo held up a hand.

"I know you do, he's your husband but seriously Kaitlyn is that what's best right now?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm filing for divorce. This will be the last time I see him for probably the rest of my life." I patted my pocket for the letter I'd written to Jack, detailing all the reasons I was filing for divorce. Leo hugged me again.

"I've watched you go through hell, you showed up at my door with a newborn, you were covered in bruises and had a black eye, he hurt you more than that I know." He said, and I hated how sweet he was being to me. In rehab, I had broken myself down so much realizing everything I'd lost. I'd lost my family, to a powder. Leo got back in the car. He turned on the radio, and I felt the haze of awkwardness fall into the air. I'd completed rehab, but I had no job, no money, my cell service had stopped being paid, I sank against the seats. Twenty minutes later Leo pulled into a driveway. I didn't recognize the house. It was small.

"You moved." I whispered, and he nodded. I noticed, Evie had fallen asleep in her car seat, just like she used to in the car with me and Jack. I felt a smile pulling at my lips at the memory. I got out of the car, and Leo grabbed my bag. I opened Evie's door. Carefully, with practiced skill I undid the straps of her carseat and lifted her into my arms. Her sleeping body fit perfectly in my arms I smiled down at her. Leo held the door open for me as I stepped inside. It was a cute little place, although a little bland he showed me into a room where there was a queen bed, with my favorite color of green bedding and in the corner a pack n play and bassinet. I smiled softly. I layed Evie down in the bed, instead of the pack n play. I turned to Leo, and he rain his finger over my shoulder, tracing my collar bone.

"Tomorow I'll drive you to see Jack." He said. From my bag I pulled the divorce papers I'd already signed. Of all the things it was time for, this was one.