Addicted | ✔

P a r t E i g h t y

                                                                            PART EIGHTY 

There was a time, I thought that I was going to die by the hands of the man who I'd just told we were getting divorced. However, something I've learned of abusers is that when you think the good days out way the bad, you don't see the hell they put you through. That's exactly how I felt, when Jack signed the papers, and didn't fight for custody of Evie. Maybe because he knew, by the time he was out of Jail it would be ten years in the future, where she would most likely chose to not be associated with the man who tried to kill her mother, or maybe she would. Either way, he knew now of all time was time to let me go, and let her go. Maybe someday I would receive a letter of apology from him. I hoped anyway.

"Kaitlyn Thomas?" A voice called, and I stood up. In the cold lighting of the doctors office I watched as Evie ran in front of me. This was the first step in me being a better mother, taking her to a goddamn doctors appointment for vaccines and a checkup. The second one, ever. Jack and I were supposed to go to many more when we were together however we never did. As I entered the room, the nurse took my daughter's vitals. I was in a new state of pain at this moment, as my pregnancy progressed I find it harder to even function, with the amount of sick I always was, and the constant state for the child, and myself. I applied for welfare, and food stamps although it wasn't much. Leo, had told me of his plan to go back to college two states away, and he was selling his home. I'd practically crumbled at the thought. As we waited for the doctor I watched Evie run around the room and crawl all over me.

"Kaitlyn Thomas, I'm Dr. Bentley, it's nice to meet you. This is your little one?" The doctor, a tall dark haired man asked as he came into the room. I nodded and Evie cuddled up to me. He reached his arms out for Evie who shied away from him. He placed her on the exam table and looked at me as he checked heart rate. 

This all felt, very very normal like it should have. As I watched the doctor taking care of Evie was normal. When he told me she had clean health I felt as though, I deserved a breakdown. I sighed and smiled.

"Thank you, Dr. Bentley." I said, smiling. She was very sunny, and when she gave my baby back to me Evie tried and failed to climb out of my arms.

"Ma'm, have you also been to your OB for your pregnancy?" She asked, gesturing to my stomach. I nodded. This was half true, I had been two months while I was in rehab.

"Yes, not recently." 

"We can schedule you an appointment, through my office to get you squared away before baby gets here." She said, I was very close to giving birth and I knew that. I nodded. For the next thirty minutes it felt like Dr. Bentley asked me questions about Evie, and her sleep patterns, how well she was eating, her temper, nap times, activities and etc. All of which, I did my best to answer honestly. I didn't know most of them, but I answered with what I assumed to be the truth. The fact that Leo was a better parent to a child that was not his.

As we left and I scheduled what would be my last appointment before the baby was born, I looked at Evie, who pretended like she was tired in the car home. As we drove I called three apartment complexes, with the few bucks I had I had no idea how I was going to pay for one, especially once Leo left and I ran out of options. One woman, said we could work something out for a two bedroom one bath, the problem was it was on the side of town I used to run around in. Around where Alex lived. I told her I would meet her then, I had backed out of the Lease Jack and I were still under, because I wasn't even eighteen at the time. I pulled up in front of the apartment building where the woman said to meet her, it was grey and basic. I pulled Evie from the car and looked around. This section of town was called: "No-Man's Land" where drug addicts, and the welfare queens went to live, or die depending. It was the wrong side of the tracks. But in the parking lot I met a woman named Carly, a tall and pale woman who looked wilted. 

"Kaitlyn?" She asked and I nodded. She took in the scene in front of her, a very thin girl with sad eyes, and thin lips, a white sweater, and black pants, a toddler in her arms, babbling nonsense, the eighth month baby bump.

"Yes. Nice to meet you Carly." I said. The apartment she showed me was, dark, and about 900 square feet a small kitchen, small bedrooms, and bathrooms. The living room, was sized though. Carly told me of all the perks, including the fact that the building had laundry, and that parking wouldn't be hard. I told her I would think about and she showed me out. Even though I said I was going to think about it, the six hundred a month was hard to beat. I knew the kind of people I would be living with. And, there was no credit check. All cash, and something felt off about that. I thanked Carly and left.

"We're going to be pulling into this parking lot a lot more little girl." I said to Evie.

"Cat! Cat!" Evie babbled pointing to a small black cat sitting on the curb, I nodded.