UNA

JASON #12

The moment I woke up, I instantly felt this craving for giving in to all my excuses and victim skills I had required in my miserable existence.

But the memory of Una's eyes so full of wonder and faith in me prevented me from returning into my personal darkness.

I had already let down too many people too often to keep going on like that.

So I turned on my laptop to spend the next hours finding out what had happened to Cass and where she was.

I was about to give up when I finally came across a little article in a local paper about a girl hit by a car, the driver of which had fled the scene of the accident.

That was when the stinging pain in my temples set in. Nausea got hold of me and I didn't know what I should react to first.

A minute - or so - later I woke up on the floor, still overwhelmed by this throbbing pain. Then slowly, inch by inch a shudder crawled up my back, straight into my neck, accompanied by a flashback that should have tipped me over the edge.

I saw myself sneaking out of my and Abby's flat to get into the car heading off anywhere, just to get out of the future I hadn't wanted to be a part of. Next I remembered getting totally pissed in this bar in a small town. What came afterwards remained a bit blurry, but there it was.

This bump. On the road.

Due to the state I was in, it was even hard enough for me to recognize any disturbance. But it had never occured to me that the bump I had felt, could have been caused by an actual human being that I had overrun.

When I realised what I had done, I was sure that I had actually reached the lowest point of my life. I fell down to my knees and started to cry.

My former self who had committed all these terrible crimes would have used this opportunity to bathe in self-pity and self-loathing.

But the lurking image of Una's blue eyes was like a north star to my remaining glimpse of sanity. So I decided to get all-in and went straight back to Jenifer.