UNA

JASON #18

With each step I took, doubts kept crawling back into the back of my head. I mean, who was I lying to? I had no life, no job, no nothing.

If it hadn't been up to Cass, I would probably be thinking that I was on a trip or something, or just hallucinating. Seriously? Talking to guides in my dreams? Any shrink would immediately diagnose some sort of psychotic episode.

Having isolated myself didn't help either. The only "real" person I had contact with, was a girl I had almost killed and that just had awoken from a coma. What a relief.

I wasn't sure what was more pathetic. The state I was in or my thoughts about it.

Maybe I could return to my old life. When I looked at my phone, I recognised that I had a missed call from my dad. And as I scrolled down I saw that my parents had tried to reach me several times. Weeks ago.

By now they would assume that I had had another black out or something.

The moment I changed my perspective, I realised how much I had changed in fact. I had no relapse. Okay I pitied myself a lot. But wasn't this also a sign of self care or even self love?

And who said I needed to go back to a life that I had despised anyway. At least this shit had provided me with an account full of enough cash to live on for another year or so.

Oh shit. I had a flashback then of my life as a creative in the advertising agency. I had been so good at fucking everyone, that you could say this business was made for me.

I was the best among all the sluts. I literally worked my ass off. And I had them pay for it.

So the hell. I could use the sins of my past to change my life for good. I even had a mission. Sort of. Maybe all these sages had had similar encounters like me. Only they weren't too stupid to ignore their calls.

Talking of which. I decided to buy neat clothes, get myself washed and shaved. Then I booked a flight to the west coast to head to another clean up with my parents.