THE FEAR I ADORE!

His truth...2

"May every sinners soul be condemned under the supreme. For sins never makes you worse but the way you feel after committing them. To every eye diamond rings faster and easier than a stone could ever do. Unlike other parents, I wouldn't call you a diamond...for not everyone's worthy enough to love a stone! and to my misdeeds, I was the unfortunate to never love you. Son hate me! spit on me! for all my life..I never cherished you. As far as the talk shifts to abuse, I wouldn't apologize for it would not throw disgust out of me, nor will it heal your scars. Think of your father as a coward, who was never courageous to show affection. Still if it's pleases God and your innocent self,
Forgive all my bad deeds for I'll repay you with a last memory of mine. May almighty flourish you with unconditional love.
Thompson".
His words rang up in my ears, pushing me out of nightmare. 10years! whole 10years! still every night's owned by their dream...either it's dead Thompson or a horny Isabelle throwing herself on Aaron. Lifting my hand, I touched the little pendent hovering over my blossom. A simple stone shaped to a diamond...it's texture as black as coal with taints giving it greyish exterior. For the sunlight, the stone absorbs every ray shinning dimmer. But by no way could it beat a diamond. 10years, since the world calls me a murderer of my own parents! How unjust of God to throw me into sins! To the world blood causes nausea but to mine eyes it reflects peace.
"Hearts made out of stone!", perfect speech for a mafia. Thou it had been a long time, those scenes still fills me with horror. The huge scar on my back throwing loathe to my own body...was replaced by a lingering inked skull. For sure, I lost my parents priorly my innocence, I recieved friends....ZAIRE KENNEDY AND ROY KNIGHT! For now, we were seated up in a conference room with mafias.. the furniture screaming power and horror to eyes. Seated in the huge air conditioned room, where in center lies a majestic table made out of glass. The lack of light giving it a darker shade. Infront sits a huge screen plastering eyes upon. Faces wearing stoicness, bewilderment stared at the screen void any distraction.
"Knight's here, I need to leave!", I rose up from my seat fixing all eyes upon me. Not waiting for any response, I parted my way to CLUB. For now all I need was intoxicants to drown me  into. Following my way to usual table, I sat up straight throwing a sip after another. Wasn't stabbing Thompson and Isabelle the end of my melancholy? for how long will I burn myself into alcohols? Heaving a sharp breath, my eyes darted at the ringing device calling annoyance.
"Can you let me have a breath?".
"Where the f**k are you?", the voice rang out causing my eyebrows to crease. "For f**ks sake, leave me alone! ZAIRE!", I growled.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?", Zaire yelled. His voice ringing in my ears.
"IN A CLUB!", I yelled back carrying my body out of the isolated place.
"Stop this sh!t before it ends you!".
"Zaire...", I hissed in annoyance due to
a petite body crashing into mine's.
"Don't you have eyes to stare!", I groaned glancing at the newly crimson shade ornamenting the fabric of my white shirt. Lifting my head up, I caught brown iris, the brown colour speaking fierceness and boldness. Her high nose bridge void any flaws.. running along her skin. I felt the strong urge to run a slender touch across her face. Shifting my gaze, her lips captured time. The shade as fresh as roses, erupting out of bud, entering the youthful flowering stage. Her back wavy hairs, mischeviously demanding  my touch to part them away...they seemed to be trimmed from the right corners glorifying her head. Next comes her body, as fragile as a glass, which I feared to break. The shimmering line of cloth hugging her body from every right place..leaving the rest to my mind. For sure she was an eye-catching art..I would feel honoured to read details of.
"I'm sorry..I'm extremely sorry for ruining your shirt", she apologized mindlessly. For the first time I felt my mouth dry due to loss of senses. Her ethereal beauty has worked its magic.
"Let me clean this please follow this way!", she guided. Deceiving my body, my heart ran out of chest following every directions she leads. Coming in a VIP room, I stared at the cream coloured walls fitted with a huge round clock, several arts...with many stories hidden. A giant bed, draped all white following the washroom. Entering in, I glanced at the luxury it called. The woman ahead grabbed few tissues, draining them wet with water. Once done she turned, her hand grazing the now soaked mark. Her midlength waves played well...tangling my heart into those. She was beautiful! Her fingers mischeviously ran along my chest, the hard muscles beneath tensing, under a small gesture. Following my instinct I pushed her wrists above, pinning them before brushing my lips against hers. The softness of her lips messing with my neurons. Holding a control on her, I managed my lips to work onto hers. Our lips moved into an inexperienced way, following the steps our bodies wants us to. Her hand moved upto my shoulder reaching down my biceps forcing the burning desires in me. With one hand, I led the other down following every curve of her..feeling it under. Devouring every curve, I paved my way to her thigh. The coldness of my touch to cause goosebumps to rise on her body. Caressing every corner of hers, I found a spot..her sensitive spot running circles recieving moans back. Grabbing the opportunity, I slipped my tongue into her mouth. An innocent kiss turning into a sensational, hungry desire! The movement of her tongue challenging mine would only burn my skin with heat. The savouriness of kiss gaining whole control over me demanding for more and more. Her virgin lips..played well with my tongue, running for dominance. The moment our lips parted, the barriers have broken already..for what left was a long night with countless desires erupting out of growing buds.

MONTHS LATER
Drifting few hours of mine aimlessly in thoughts seems to become a habit, I couldn't give up on. Stealing reality out of the constant lies I had buried myself into, feels throwing myself into bombard of questions..I can never be ready to face. The gentle strokeness of the night to be restlessness of my after activity. The fact of lust taking over me..everything was a lie! a wholesome lie! But facing reality now feels more difficult than living a lie. Am I infatuated by her silk like locks? Do the fierceness of her eyes amuse me? Do I actually love her or it's the feeling I've found comfort into? Three months! adequate time for our relationship to develop! for me to find answers if I really am in love with Avalon Young, the woman I gave my virginity away to? For me to pull out of thoughts appeared Zaire! His eyes darkened as if he've had enough coping with anger.
"Since when did you started trusting Avalon with our confidential works?", Zaire roared throwing me a questioning look. "She's my girlfriend".
"Right! Isabelle too was your mother but she did back stabbed you at the end!", Zaire spoke throwing light on my past. "She's too innocent to pull tricks as dead Isabelle!", I stated, defending Avalon moreover emphasising the fact of Isabelle being dead.
"Innocent enough to spread her legs for every man, such an epitome!", Zaire remarked causing my blood to go white. Anger rose up in me.
"I'm aware of you not liking Avalon but your choice of words wouldn't be appreciated!", I retorted.
"No wisdom can change the reality that she's a f**king wh*re!", Zaire roared. The atmosphere around silenced for awhile. Don't know for how long was silence rolling around but now it was suffocating? There were no sounds of yells nor arguments. Did I?.. fear rose up in my body thinking about the possible outcomes. Staring up I glanced at his broken jaw and blood limping out of his lips..bringing eyes down to my knuckles I found them coloured red. "ZAIRE! STOP!!", I spoke trying to push him out of the room.
"You're so blinded in love to trust your bestfriend!", Zaire remarked. "You're blinded in hate to know who Avalon really is!".
"A fucking bitch who warms beds in your absence!", Zaire yelled and words seems to freeze in their own.
"SHES NOT AS ISABELLE!", I yelled again convincing Zaire moreover myself.
"SHE MAY NOT BE BUT YOU'LL END UP AS YOUR PATHETIC FATHER!", Zaire barked earing a hard punch from me on his subtle jaw. But this time, he didn't resist instead he threw another on my face with same hatred. Gathering my body I attacked him over, causing Zaire to spit blood out.
"Just shut that f**king mouth of yours, KENNEDY !".
"FINE THEN DONT WALK BACK TO ME!", Zaire shoot. His hands tightly fisted and once again he slammed me hard, knocking me down on the hard ground. Being satisfied, he threw me an angry gaze before walking out. I stared at his retreating back..for long he was away from my sight. Sitting back, I wiped my lips, blood burning out in my veins. For now everything was gone and the only thing my mind could think of was Isabelle! Stepping out of the room, I threw myself to a long ride further. Accelerating with each turn, I felt my body flying...flying towards the unwanted thoughts. Reaching the place, I walked down the pool of sand, trying to heal my bruised strides. The sound of water hitting the shore whispering songs to me but all in vain. The shinning stars above tried even harder to tell stories to throw me out of melancholy but in vain. What was causing the restlessness? Was it Isabelle or thoughts of Avalon cheating on my back? She won't and by no chance she would! She claims to have vows to stand by my side forever.! moreover she sings love to me all the time! Isabelle too claimed to love me! but she did betrayed at the end! NO! maybe it was I who let her...indeed I was blind to notice how vulnerable she made Thompson. Am I actually in love? No doubt I appreciate Avalon's presence in my life. Back, without her, I would drown myself to pills to attain sleep but now her arms seems to laid me to clouds of comfort and securance. Her touches feels as a magic healing my wounds little by little. Her laughter rings as a bell of happiness, anyone would find an addiction into! but do I love her? What do love probably means? Was it love that made Thompson tear me in night's? Was it love that made Isabelle cheat on her husband as well as her own son? Pushing every thought away, I glanced at my new escape. The dark night being an escape out of darkness! But for today this escape seems to burn me harder,the lack of light out draining strength and power out of me. How pathetic of me to fear, when I stand as a mafia? Each second passing comes back flooding chains back to my head causing my body to shiver out of pain and anger! If fear would describe my state better. The intoxicants lost their impact away leaving me alone within thoughts. The darkness gave up its comfort throwing me out. I could hear her name ringing in my head, her enchanting laughter pulling me out. YES! I WANT HER! for she's the cure I need!

I know it's quite long since I uploaded the last time.....but from now I'll try my best to keep up with regular updates....as my exams have finally finished.....well there's one chapter left for his whole past to be revealed. I hope ull enjoy today's chapter...will be waiting for your comments! Thank you...!