Can't Express Myself (Roddy Ricch)

"Are you okay?"

Allie
I had called her and we decided to meet up for dinner I was really concerned about her. My nerves were on edge I ordered us drinks and waited she arrived looking beautiful as usual I got up embracing her in a tight hug she hugged me back I hand missed the smell of her candy like perfume. I picked her cheek and we sat down. "I ordered you a lemon drop" she smiled lightly "Thanks I need this" I thought she was talking about our outing until she took the drink and gulped it down with one swallow. She held her hand up for the waiter ."let me get three more of those". I frowned up "Whoa your not driving home are you"
"No I got an Uber" I gulped down my drink was she coming here to break things of with me. I hoped not I couldn't handle that, "Did I do something?" I asked touching her hand she slid me a drink. "No of course not I'm sorry I have been distant Brandons okay he is out of the hospital. I slid closer to her "Oh my god I'm so happy for you thank God he is ok." She smiled hugging me back "Let's oder some food I'm hungry."
"Me too"I rubbed her leg "Have you missed me?" She put her hand on my bare thigh moving it closer to my pussy"She pulled back teasing me. The waiter came and we ordered food. I got chicken Alfredo and she got lobster and pasta we fed each other of each other's plates. "I hope this isn't to forward of me but I got us a hotel room"
She smiled "Let's get the check then"

Exotic
I was 5 lemon drops in originally I came here to break it off with her but I couldn't. I was in love with Brandon but I had love for her to and she satisfied me in a different way. We got to the room and I was nice and tipsy, Allie came in 'You want another drink?" I shook my head "No I'm tipsy enough" She came over to me moving hair out of my face before kissing me. I put everything out of my mind for now but I would have to break this off sooner rather than later. I pulled her dress of running my hands over her body. "Mmm I missed your touch" I got up pushing her on the bed. She sat up "Let me take these off" I let her undress me. We were both in lingerie. "Damn your so sexy" she smacked my ass before grabbing it. I got on top of her and we made out our tongue tangling. Her hands found my panties and she slid her fingers in my panties tickling my clit. I rubbed against her fingers as we continued kissing.
"Lay back baby i want to show you how much I missed you." I laid back and she kissed my neck before unsnapping my bra.
She rubbed my nipples and I sucked in a breath heat flooding my core. I closed my eyes enjoy the sensations. She started sucking my nipples. "Yes just like that baby"
I pulled her face up kissing her before she continued to suck my nipples. She kissed her way down pulling off my panties. I looked down at her as she kissed my clit softly. "Mm" she sucked my clit "You like that?" "No I love it" she spit on my clit then sucked it like an icee "Yess lick that pussy" I bit my lip and played with my nipples. She kept licking and sucking until I came. "Shitt" I was out of breathe. "Keep those legs open"
"I did as she said and she came back with a vibrator toy she turned it on and got back in between my legs. "Oh fuck Allie" she pumped in in and out of me and started sucking my clit I was in ecstasy. We switched places and I returned the favor.

Allie

I knew from the way we were fucking she was going to try and break it off we had sex and I cuddled up to her she let me but she was still stiff. "Your going to break up with me aren't you?" She looked at me searching my face "Allie" I breathed deep "Don't lie just tell me why?"
"I have love for you I really do it just Brandon almost died and I feel like I'm doing him wrong"
"Your not you know with us it's a different feel he can't make you feel what I can and I can't make you feel what he can"
She smirked "I guess that's true"
"I can't loose you just not right now how about we see each other less I just need a part of you even if it's a small part"
She rubbed my hair "Ok Allie"
I held her and we cuddled for an hour before we showered and left.

When I got home Roddy was waiting for me
"Hey how did your lunch go?" I looked at him knowing what he was really asking. "Exotic is good Brandon will be okay everything is fine" he squinted looking at me "You good?"
"Yeah I'm just tired got a lot on my mind"
"Baby is there something I can do you wanna talk?" I walked over to him. "You can give me a massage that would be nice" he nodded grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs.

Roddy
I gave Allie a massage she fell asleep I called Exotic she picked up when Brandon was in the hospital we would text about how I would get the kids. "Hey Exotic you good?"
"Yes I am how are you?'
"I'm good so um I want to get the kids this weekend if that's okay?" I heard her shuffling on the phone "Yes that fine you want me to drop them off or are you coming to get them?"
"I will come and get them, also I wanted to say um thanks for you know holding me down through everything"
"It's all love right?"
"Yeah exotic can I ask you something?"
She paused taking a breath "Yeah go ahead"
I looked at Allie in the bed and exited the room walking down the hall.
"Do you think if I hadn't fucked up we would still be together?"
"How could I ask me something like that?"
"Because my mind wonders about it sometimes it don't ever cross yours?"
She had a heavy sigh "I don't know Roddy it doesn't matter we both moved on"
"Do you still love me ?"
"Roddy you must be drunk or something so I'm just going to pretend you not saying this shit.goodnight"
She hung up on me I went downstairs and fixed myself a drink and rolled a blunt.

I knew it was fucked up but I still couldn't get over her or maybe it's was the fact that I thought she would be mines forever denial was a hell of a river and I was swimming in it deep.