Derek left early the next morning after our little argument. That was a week ago. We've hardly spoken since.
I miss him so fucking much, I've been crying myself to sleep basically every night. My parents are really worried about me.
I'm sat in my bed, scrolling through pictures of him and of us together. I sniffle, wiping my tears. I go and read our messages from the last week.
Monday
Derek: hi darling. Are you okay?
Me: yes
Derek: okay baby, just wanted to make sure. Love you.
Tuesday:
Me: hi Derek
Derek: hi, my love!! How are you?
Me: I'm fine. How are you?
Derek: I'm okay. Busy with work.
Me: me too. I'm sorry I haven't seen you since Saturday
Derek: It's fine baby
Wednesday:
Derek: hi gorgeous. I saw your new photoshoot. You look so perfect.
Me: thanks honey
Thursday:
Derek: hi gorgeous girl, I miss you so much.
Me: I miss you
Friday:
Derek: can I see you today, baby? I miss you and I kinda think we need to talk..
Me: not today. I'm busy with work.
Derek: I can come over after?
Me: I'll be too tired. Please don't, I'm not in the mood.
He hasn't texted me at all today, and now it's 12am. I feel really bad for avoiding him, but I feel like if we talk.. its going to end in a breakup, and that is the last thing I want.
There's a light knock on my bedroom door. "Come in" I wipe my tears. "Its me, baby" Derek says quietly, walking in. "Derek" I burst into tears as soon as I see him. I'm on my period, okay? I'm hormonal.
"Don't cry! Hey, it's okay my love" he rushes over to me and sits next to me. "What's wrong?" He puts his hands on my cheeks. "I missed you" I hug him. "I missed you too" he squeezes me gently.
"Don't break up with me" I pull away from him. I sniffle, wiping my nose on the sleeve of his hoodie I'm wearing. "Why would I break up with you?" He frowns.
"Because I want a baby sooner than you and you could probably just break up with me and go and find another girl to have your perfect babies with whenever you want!" I sob.
"Heyyy! Honey, stop" he pulls away from me slowly and looks into my eyes. "My babies will be perfect because they'll be ours.. nobody else's, and I could never leave you.. you're the love of my life" he says seriously. "Really?" My bottom lip wobbles. He nods.
"I was really scared" I say tearfully. "I was scared too, mer.. please never do that to me again, I thought we were over" he tears up too. "I'm sorry" I cry harder. "I'm sorry too" he starts crying. We hug eachother tight.
"Don't you cry!" I sob. "I can't help it" he sniffles. "I don't ever want to lose you" he rests his forehead against mine. I sniffle before kissing him deeply. He puts his hands on my cheeks.
I pull away from him slowly and wipe my tears. I wipe his too. "Do you want to come home with me?" He asks. I nod enthusiastically.
This is the third time I've ever seen derek cry. The first two times were over his dad, and this time its because he thought he'd lose me... I love him so much.
"Get ready then, I'll wait for you in the car" he gets up. "Okay" I sniffle. He leaves. I quickly get up and get ready.
I meet him in his car and he drives us to his apartment. He holds open the door for me and I walk into his apartment.
I hold his hand and he follows me in. I lead him straight to the bedroom and we climb into bed. I pull the covers over us and cuddle into him.
"I love you" he whispers. "I love you" I whisper. We cuddle for about an hour, without saying anything to eachother apart from a couple of I love you's. We soon fall asleep.
