Until My Final Breath Escapes~ A Will Ramos Romance~

38. Your Mind Is Dissolving Light

The next few days were a depressing blur to Charlotte. She thought of Will non-stop, and for some reason, she kept thinking about Winter even more lately. Of course, not a day went by when she didn't think of their daughter and what she might be like and look like...but she had been having a hard time sleeping and it was weighing on her heavily these last couple of days.

Krys hadn't said much to her still feeling crappy about the whole situation. It was extremely rare when Charlotte was upset with her. Although she was trying to be a good friend, she understood that her and Austin were overstepping a boundary for Charlotte.

Charlotte was drawing on her iPad sitting up in bed resting her back against the wall. She hadn't really left her room much. Today she woke up feeling extremely alone and she had spent all morning crying her eyes out.
She had finally been able to calm herself down and breathe. She tried to think about other things knowing she couldn't keep spending time in her room like this. It was only making things worse. Eventually when it got to be early afternoon she heard a light knock on her door.

"Char?" She heard her best friend talking quietly not wanting to disturb her if she was still sleeping.

"You can come in..." Char answered. She was laying down again with her back to the door.

The door opened a bit and Krys popped her head in.

"Hey babe...I brought you some lunch."

"You didn't have to do that...I'm not that hungry but maybe I'll try to eat it a little later...thanks Krys."

Krys sighed tired of giving her space and came into her room setting the food down on the bedside table and Charlotte felt the bed sink in behind her.

"It's a beautiful day out...we should go to the park for a little bit or something."

Charlotte didn't respond and just kept her back to her not wanting to do anything today. Krys pulled her friends hair back feeling terrible she was so depressed.

"Why don't you just call him..."
There was silence for a moment until Charlotte finally turned a bit and Krys saw her puffy eyes and red cheeks and nose. She felt so bad for her friend and wished she could take away some of her emotional suffering.

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

"He just plays games with me Krys. He wrote me that fucked up letter and then acted like nothing ever happened..." her voice cracked, "he thinks this whole relationship is a joke."

Krys furrowed her eyebrows feeling bad that Charlotte was really thinking this way to herself. She knew Charlotte always had anxiety and depression, and every now and again she unfortunately would start to self sabotage with her distorted thoughts. She couldn't help the way her brain was wired, and sometimes she just thought people didn't have the best intentions. Deep down it was insecurity issues she really needed to try and cope with. Krys really thought with her whole heart that Will loved her to death. She knew Will was a great guy...who had some damage just like everybody else. But anyone who saw the way Will looked at her could absolutely say they knew he loved her entirely.

"Char," Krys sighed thinking of the best way to put this, "I think he's just very similar to you. Both of you think you don't deserve to be loved and you do!"

Charlotte sat up and wiped her watering eyes hating that she was like this. Insecure. Worried. Vexed. Everything in between. Krys rested her hand on her best friends arm consoling her.

"Charlotte...you know I love you to death, and if I ever thought for a minute that Will was a terrible fucking person, you know damn well I would have spoken up and told you a long time ago. But girl...you don't see it from the outside like everyone else does. The way he talks about you when you're not around...the way he looks at you...we all see it. He worships the ground you walk on."

Charlotte just looked at her friend with emotional eyes, realizing she really needed to listen to what she had to say and stop telling herself otherwise. She trusted Krys and knew she always had her best interest at heart

"Austin has been telling me he constantly that Will talks about you, still, and he has not been interested in anyone else or given anyone else even the time of day. Charlotte you guys are meant for each other...I really mean that. And I know it's hard and you guys are two broken people that have been through so much...but you deserve to be with your soulmate. And you deserve to be happy. I really think you should call him."

Charlotte just looked down and Krys could see the gears turning in her head.

"Just think about it. And I really think you should eat."

She leaned over grabbing the sandwich she bought her from a local bakery and Charlotte nodded quietly.

"Thank you... and I'm sorry I got mad at you and Austin the other night...I know you were just trying to help."she knew Krys was always brutally honest with her and if she really was sticking up for Will...then maybe she really was just being difficult and being hard on him.

"You don't have to apologize babe," Krys smiled a little reassuringly just happy Charlotte finally wasn't mad at her anymore .

"I'm gonna try and eat and take a shower..."

Krys nodded in approval just pleased she was finally getting her out of bed and she left to give her privacy. Charlotte ate what she could of the sandwich and went to slip into the bathroom to wash up. It was a start.

Krys and Charlotte ended up hanging up on the couch hanging out and watching horror movies for the entire day. The doorbell rang and they looked at each other oddly knowing they weren't expecting anyone.

Krys volunteered to go answer it and came back after a couple minutes with a big grin on her face. Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows suspiciously, thinking Krys looked like she was up to something,

"So, there may or may not be something super cute for you in the kitchen..."

Charlotte looked at her confused and got up going toward the kitchen hesitantly.
When she turned the corner she saw a big bouquet of black roses with a giant heart balloon and a small envelope. She bit her lip as she approached the table thinking the flowers were absolutely beautiful.

Char 🖤 it read in familiar handwriting.
When she opened the envelope slope there were two concert tickets and a small note.

"I know your last concert didn't go as planned, so I really hope you will come to this one tonight and let me make it up to you."

She looked and saw the tickets were for a local Lorna Shore show tonight at one of her favorite venues and she melted. Will left one ticket for her and one for Krys.
She sighed to herself knowing he was really trying and she needed to try and not be so stubborn after what Krys said earlier.

"Are we going?! Are we going!!?" Krys begged excitedly and was practically bouncing in place. The corners of charlottes lips started to form into a small smile.

"Ugh...I guess so..." she said teasingly still feeling nervous to go but at the same time she appreciated that Will was still trying.

"We better hurry up they open the doors at 7."
Krys squealed and googled it on her phone loving the lineup.

"Rivers of Nihil AND Currents are playing tonight?! FUCK YES!" She squealed and rushed to her room to find something to wear.

Charlotte let out a chuckle at how hyped she was and she went to try and look for something nice to put on for tonight.