College Relationships

My Biggest Period of Depression Ever

Despite all the good things that were still happening in my life, like having one of the very best houses in Spoonerville and being a successful at a job that I loved doing very much and that horrible Mona no longer in my life to cheat on me or say hurtful things about me, there was still nothing in my life to help me to get over what she did to me and I was going through the biggest period of depression of my whole life and it wouldn't end, no matter what I did in my life.

I had been through some very rough patches in my life before, like never knowing my real mother and getting bullied an awful lot when I was young, but nothing destroyed me more than Mona's cheating on me did. It scarred me too deeply that I felt that I could never date anyone ever again. Every day at the college, a lot of ladies came to me. They kept saying they needed my help, whether it was for a sports event or it was for a gym workout or it was for some fitness advice among them, but I could tell that they were really trying to flirt with me or spend time with with me or ask me on a date. Even though they were all nice and beautiful ladies and they were very skilled at a lot of sports, I kept turning them down but in a nice and cool way and I did manage to continue to help them in whatever they needed help with. There were times when I thought that I maybe I should try dating to help me get over what Mona's cheating, but the louder voice in my brain kept telling me, 'No, don't do it. History will just repeat itself and nothing is worth going through that ever again.' So, I didn't.

Wherever I went or whoever I was with, I tried my very best to hide my depression. It was easier at work because I was keeping myself busy and occupied, but when I was with my family and my best friends, it was less easy. And don't get me wrong, deep down, I was very happy that they were all living their very happy lives with their high paying jobs and promotions and having happy, wonderful families – especially with PJ becoming the head chef at the Red Flame, Lucy becoming the biggest poetry bestseller, Bobby continuing to make Sunny Records the best recording company in the world, Stacey helping not just Cambridge, but the whole of the USA feel safe with her ingenious ability to get every criminal she treated to confess their crimes, Lauren becoming the owner of her theater and producing success shows starting with a production of Dreamgirls and Lisa still being the editor-in-chief of Gleaming and making it the best fashion magazine and empire in the world and them being great parents among them – but seeing them live their happy and successful lives didn't make me feel good at the time. Even back then, I knew that no one lives perfect lives, but because I didn't have a girlfriend and I didn't have children, it made me feel left out. Because of that, when my family or friends invited me to come to their events, I didn't feel like going to them because I knew it wouldn't make me feel good. I didn't even go to see my family on their birthdays or Christmas, though I did send them cards and presents to try to show I still loved and cared about them the best way I could during my depression period. The same went with my friends.

If entering a relationship with a cheater was always going to happen in my life, no matter how much I still wished it didn't, I was just glad that it happened before social media came out. If it happened later when social media became more popular and people posted on them only the good and happy times of their lives, dealing with Mona's betrayal would have been so much harder and more miserable than when I did it, especially with seeing all my family and friends having happy lives while I struggled to get over my depression.

When I was at college but I didn't need to work, I would help in any way I could. One example was still helping the college do their Thanksgiving service on Thanksgiving Day 2003 and 2004. Another example would be when I went to help Hayden Frosen with the college stage productions. He was one of my college friends who acted with me. He played Bernardo when we did West Side Story, he played Red Caboose when we did Starlight Express and he played Amos Hart when we did Chicago. After he graduated college, he took over from Mr. Trapdoor as the new drama studies professor and had directed many successful college stage productions, including Company by Stephen Sondheim in 2003, A Sunday Walk in the Park again by Sondheim in 2004 and Grease by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey in 2005. I helped him build the sets and the props and everything he needed and he was always grateful for my help.

When the college finished during the breaks, I managed to continue to keep myself busy like working on my house and my garden and, during the summer breaks of 2003 and 2004, I got a summer job by working at Spoonerville Camp and I became the water sports instructor. Teaching the kids how to do these incredible water sports and watching them use my teachings to have fun or beat other summer camps in competition also helped me take me mind off Mona. It wasn't enough to fully recover from it, but it was still better than not doing it. I didn't even take any vacations because my mind told me that I must keep my mind occupied by working because, if I didn't, it would only repay Mona's betrayal.

I did try to see all the positive things going on in my life. I knew that there were some benefits to being single, like not being in a relationship could help to save up more money for myself and for paying all bills and taxes and for increasing my investments and pension and having more freedom to do my own thing. Even though I didn't see them, I never forgot that I had a wonderful family and I had many wonderful friends and I was still deeply honored that I was the godfather of their children and for feeling a part of their families in that sense.

And I knew back then I was still lucky to have a job at Spoonerville College. Not to just to help me get over what Mona did to me or how unfair life was treating me during that period or to help me earn money, but also because there weren't enough jobs available around the country. And I still enjoyed working for the sports department at the college and I kept getting paid and promoted for it. Also, I was improving not just the sports events at the college, but the lives of the athlete students as well. For those who haven't read How Spoonerville College Changed the World of Sports Forever or those who have read it but forgot, here is a quick summary. I started as a cleaner at the gym when I first started college and became head cleaner of the gyms, while I was still entering college lectures and winning College X Games and many other college sport events. After I graduated, I became an assistant to the head of the College's Sports Department and I assisted him in every way I could and even offered him some advice on how to improve the gym and the sports, which he mostly took. Then before Spoonerville College finished before Summer Break 2003, the head was retiring and gave his title and office to me. No one else was allowed to apply because he understood my passion for sports and he believed that I could lead this college to sports history (in a good way) and, to put this humbly as I can, I think I did and I still do my very best to keep up the success. Many student athletes who studied at Spoonerville College had gone on and still go on and I hope they still will go on to play many sports events and achieve greatness. From Spoonerville College, many football players go on to play football in the NFL and in the Superbowl, many basketball players go on to play basketball for the NBA, many tennis players go on to play at Wimbledon, the US Open, the French Open and the Australian Open among other tennis events, many wrestlers go on to wrestle in the WWE, many baseball players go on to play for the MLB, many athletes go on to represent the USA in the Olympics and the Winter Olympics and many more go on to play in many more professional sports.

Another good thing was that I was and still am a teetotaller. If I didn't have my stomach, meaning I couldn't drink alcohol at all, I think Mona's betrayal might have turned me into an alcoholic to cope with those painful memories of it, which I knew even then that drinking alcohol would never be a solution at all and would only make things worse. Though I've never been an addict and I've never hit rock bottom, I still to this day think that my very worst depression was the closest thing I've been to hitting rock bottom in my life.

So those were some good things in my life. But I was just too depressed to see even what I was accomplishing and the only reason I continued to do what I did was because I was trying to keep myself distracted while being single and also to get over what Mona did to me.