High On The Thought Of You

>>Run away<<

[Chapter 30]

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Goldie POV
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I'm not.. dead am I?

...

No, I Cant be. I still have plenty to live for! I don't want to die.

...

Not like this at least.

I remember when I was younger, I always said I'd die old. With three kids, married, and with grandchildren. I believed my life would be normal, Like any other, Fulfilling, living the normal life like a normal person should.

I knew from the very beginning I wasn't destined to be a star, I wasn't meant to be up on the stage. It was always Freddy. I was just.. Sort of there.

But it wasn't always like that. I gave up my place for him. I had talent. But as soon as middle school hit, It seemed as if I failed everyone, I was pushed off the pedestal.

And when Freddy began to get older I realized how much he had grown, I remember looking at him and it clicked, he was meant to be, he was the real deal. He wanted to learn music, Learn how to write song lyrics.

I had dreams as a kid, Big ones that were far from reach. I wanted to be on stage, I wanted to be on the cover of magazines, my name on a song, I wanted all of that luxury.

And seeing Freddy wanting the same thing i once wanted gave me the urge to help make his dreams come true. Because mine didn't, I figured I could at least cheer him on.

It saddens me now to see what life we have settled for. One with blood tainted hands, Guns and pure violence. There was no room for peace, you let your guard down, even around loved ones and one thing could go wrong.

After Springtrap quit the mafia, I was hardly home. I left at night, Didn't come home 'til the afternoon. I was so busy I forgot all about what I promised myself.

I promised to live a life with love. Without the fear of knowing that I could die the next day, or not wake up from my sleep. Truth is, I've always been afraid of dying.

I just never showed it, There was no time for fear in the Mafia. I would tell myself that one of these days I will die, Thinking it would be me less Afraid, but, It still scared the hell out of me because I had Xavier, And Springtrap. I had none of that now.

So I let myself sink, I didn't dare fight back to live, I wanted nothing to do with myself anymore. I'm nothing but a burden and I deserve to die as one. I deserve to die for all the bad I've done, for all the people I've killed, For all the pain I caused.

Yet I find myself laying in the hospital bed, Staring straight up at the ceiling as I zoned out to the sound of the heart monitor.

I sat there for what felt like hours before the door clicked open. I didn't look, I didn't want to see who was there.

"Goldie." Springtrap mumbled, Walking inside.

I wanted so much to tell him to leave me alone, But I couldn't find the words. I only looked away to face the window.

"Golden." He said once more, Placing his hand ontop of mine, It was warm to the touch but.. I didn't deserve it.

I didn't deserve any of the love he gave me, He deserves so much better. Suddenly he placed my hand above his stomach, Where I felt a slight kick from the baby.