45. Y/n Has Left the Chat

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I stumbled out of the school building with my fists clenched and my lips pressed together

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I stumbled out of the school building with my fists clenched and my lips pressed together. When I was passing the gym, I was on the verge of bursting into tears and quickly turned into a small shadowy passageway between the building and the next.

I sat down on the cold stone, pulled my legs close and buried my head between my knees. A hot stream of tears ran down my cheeks and I pressed my hand against my mouth to suffocate my sobs.

Everything Ellie had said made sense. Everything I had learned about the three - all the secrets, hurt and long locked feelings with which they had entrusted me - flooded my mind and came together like a solved puzzle.

Nate's mum suffered terribly from a broken heart. Ben's parents love had turned into hate. And Dante's dad had killed himself because he had loved his wife so much that he couldn't live without her. They were afraid. Probably terrified of that feeling that had ripped their families apart. So, they had sworn to stay clear from that feeling – forever.

I looked up and stared against the dirty grey wall across from me, without focussing my gaze. 

The reason they let me get close to them, fucked me, kissed me, hugged me, it was because they knew they'd never fall for me.

I had always wondered why the three most popular guys wanted to hang out with me – a proud nobody as boring and bland as a person possibly could be. Why did they want to get physical with me when they could have literally everyone? There was my answer. You're a safe option, Ellies sharp voice haunted my mind.

And my foolish dense self fell for it – the endearment, the closeness, the warmth of their arms. Forgetting that everything was just a rational deal. Forgetting there were worlds between me and them.

Embarrassment shot into my cheeks when I remembered that I'd been about to confess my feelings to them and get the hardest push of my life. Even though Ellie's words had burned like hell, she had prevented me from humiliating myself greatly.

In the distance, I heard the school bell ring, summoning the students for the next lesson. Wiping my tears harshly, I got up and quickly continued my way to the bus stop.

I took a seat at the window. Thankful that the bus was almost empty, I leaned my head against the glass. My sight blurred from fresh tears and in the hazy colours, I saw Nate's intimate golden smile, Dante's soul-piercing gaze and the fire in Ben's cold grey eyes like a ghost, haunting me.

When I took a look at my phone, it blinked with multiple messages.

【The Three + y/n Chat】

N: Angel, where are u?

B: We're waiting in room 254 like you said.

D: dont keep us in suspense

I couldn't help a loud sob, seeing their messages.

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