Chocolate! (on hiatus)

Ch 16: Free Will

A/N: I love how you all labeled Axel a child pervert. and its really creepy of me to say that I can't exactly tell you he's not...I mean he's not like a child molester but...he's like creeping on Lola and her mini rainbowness even when she was little. Wait until more of his past 'infatuation' with that little girl comes on later in the book...god what have I done with my characters >.<

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Lola POV:

Warm...Axels arms are so warm...I peered at him through my lashes as he carried me from the couch to my bedroom. I must have fallen asleep watching the TV because the next thing I remember was being carried down the hall by a lava cake who clearly thought I was asleep still.

I closed my eyes fully as he set me on the bed and pulled my covers over me, muttering to himself about how this being the only room in the house to have changed.

Footsteps. Silence. More footsteps and then oddly enough I felt him set beside me on the bed, "what the hell am I going to do with you?"

His voice was soft, softer than I thought possible for the always angry man.

Fingers brushed my hair back from my face, sending an odd sensation down my spine.

Then he did what I wouldn't have expected, Axels lips brushed the top of my head in a short kiss before getting off the bed and exiting the room.

~~

"I thought you hated me Lava Cake."

Axel looked over at me from the storage room from the candy shop, "I do."

"Then why did you carry me to my room last night and kiss me?"

He dropped the box he was carrying and stared at me in utter shock, "You were awake?!"

I nodded, my head cocking to the side, "you could have stayed with me if you were lonely..."

He just gaped at me, "No Lola, just no. You don't tell strange men they could have just jumped in bed with you, you don't blow strangers you meet online, you don't experiment with women without even having an inkling of feelings for them. I don't know whats missing in your brain to make you think its all okay but its fucking not."

I blinked, "I had feelings for her..she said we would be friends, like best friends."

He snorted, "and are you?"

I looked away, growing sad, "No one ever talks to me otherwise. You wouldn't understand. and its not like you have room to judge Mr 'I have fudge buddies because i'm a stupid horny lava cake!'"

He was quiet for a long moment, "It would have broken your old mans heart Lola to know you were doing those things."

I eyed him cautiously, "what else was I supposed to do, live my life alone like I had been for nearly three months after grandpa died before you came along? I did all of that because I knew Axel I have always known."

"Known what Lola?"

"That theres something wrong with me. Thats why my mom died giving birth to me and my dad abandoned me, thats why my aunt and uncle hate me, why my cousin does too, its why I never had friends, why no one but my grandparents ever told me they loved me, its why grandma died on my birthday when we had finally gotten into my favorite tea house. Its why I got a call in school about grandpa collapsing and I wasn't even allowed to see him in the hospital in his last moments. no one want's me and I learned that a long time ago. I don't get secret admirers or people who think i'm just wonderful, I don't get boys who will think me fun for more than a day. I just don't."

Axel was silent for a very long moment, "Lola...Sure your out of your mind but there is nothing wrong with you. I mean yes you like candy too much, you act like a child a lot of the time, you're sort of crazy, you're loud, and way too colorful. But thats just you. Nothing wrong with being you."

"So you think people will like me?"

"No. I think everyone thinks you're a lunatic who makes candy."

"Oh..." I looked at the floor, to my neon purple platforms growing sad.

"But, I'm stuck with you. so uh..I don't know take that and be happy?"

"but you don't like me. You hate me."

He went quiet, "I hate that you're not what I expected and I hate the situation I have been put in because of the old man, I think you're crazy but I can live with crazy."

I nodded, "why don't you just leave if you hate it?"

He shrugged, "several reasons, its complicated."

"Too complicated for me to understand?"

"Yeah."

Oh. "Can I at least try?"

He stared at me for a long moment. "I cant leave because I made a deal with him A very binding deal and he sort of left me responsible for you."

"...So why don't you just leave..its not like I haven't been abandoned by a man before.."

He scowled at me, "Because you idiot I made a promise and took on a responsibility, men don't run away from that only cowards."

I never thought of it like that.."So how long are you staying for?"

He shrugged as if it didn't matter, "As long as I need to in order to make good on what I owe I guess."

"I think I get it now."

"What?"

"You so fell in love with me because I'm cute and sweet and you need an excuse to stay."

He snorted, "In your dreams rainbow fucko."

I giggled. He may not love me.

He may not even like me.

But he was the first person outside of grandpa and grandma who actually wanted to stay with me. My aunt and uncle took me in because they had to and they were never nice to me.

At least Axel is doing this of his own free will.