Chocolate! (on hiatus)

Ch 59: Burnt Cookies

Axel POV:

Lola gazed around the grand foyer, clutching Squishy in one arm while a basket of muffins rested in her other hand. Her big blue eyes rested on karma, "caramel, we are staying here?"

The red head looked around nervously, "yeah...it belongs to an old friend of mine and axel's."

She smiled a bit, "okay! where is he? I want to give him some muffins as a thank you."

Both Karma and I shuddered.

Patting her on the head he took the basket, "yeah no..he's not into muffins, not the food kind anyways sweetness."

"oh..then how do we thank him?"

We don't.

If that fucker even gets the smallest scent of gratitude from you, you are screwed. He will dig his nails into you and never let go.

Fucking parasite.

but of course I couldn't say this because lola was still scared shitless of me.

I elbowed Karma in the gut.

Wheezing her stared up at me, "what the hell man?!"

I glared at him for several long moments.

His eyes widened a bit, "right...right he would try to fuck her huh? or kill her. can't have that." Speaking up he grinned at the rainbow haired girl, "You dont! you see sugar, there is only one thing in all the dimensions nastier than demons-"

she blinked, "burnt cookies?"

"...uh no. although burnt cookies are awful, fallen angels was the answer I was looking for."

"Angels are real?"

"well..duh."

"are they pretty?"

He shrugged, "Dont really look at them, I avoid them and the certain death they bring to me. anyways! and worse than any regular fallen angel there is our dear friend Lulu."

She giggled a bit at the nut bars nickname.

Bet she wouldn't find it funny the first time he screamed heres daddy lulu and stabbed her.

He does that.

a lot.

"You see lulu is short for Lucifer, his old name. he goes by leviathan and-"

Lolas hand flew up.

Karma grinned, "yes sweetness?"

"why does he have so many names?"

"Because he has daddy issues, the biggest daddy issues in history really."

She gasped, "I HAVE DADDY ISSUES TOO!"

yes, yes she does.

Karma sighed a bit, "yes well satan took his issues and became murdery."

She looked at him sort of confused, "hey..if he's satan why isn't he here? isn't he like your king."

Okay how about no. My turn to speak, maybe she wont run the fuck away this time, "Leviathan isn't our king, not really. He rules our world yes, but we dont listen to him."

Karma snickered, "thats why he likes axel and I. well one reason."

She frowned, "Well why else does he like you?"

Neither of us chose to answer that.

There really was no good way to tell lola that the devil likes us because I understand the joy of ripping out someones guts after fucking them and because Karma thinks life is one big pornographic joke.

So we opted to pretend she never asked.

Karma wrapped an arm around her, "Thats not the point, the point is Lulu isn't home because he's....playing in the mortal realm."

She seemed to process this, "Well if he's all powerfully and devily can't he bring us home?"

He nodded, "well yeah..but he's the devil sugar, you dont ask him for favors. They never work in your favor."

She pouted.

I sighed, this was going to be the most annoying stay in the underworld that I have ever experienced.

And I lived with Leviathan for a short period of my life.

I gave that up after he started referring to himself as daddy and fixing his hair every two seconds.

So basically a week. I lived with him for a week. then realized he was somehow worse at home and then burned part of his palace down before leaving.

"Karma show Lola around, I'm going to try to figure out how the hell Leviathan got out of here."

"you think he hid a portal."

"I think this entire dimension serves as his prison and we are all a nasty side effect of it all that just got stuck here with him by default. him getting out, had to set off some major alarms and there was no way that paranoid fuck was gonna risk his great escape outside his own house."

"true. he is paranoid."

Lola wondered off toward a nearby statue, "this place is icky but..not..I'm confused."

Karma patted her on the head, "its okay sweetness, Leviathan has that effect on people."

"Hmm, is he nice?"

"Hes the devil."

She stared at him for a long moment, "okay but is he nice."

I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall as Karma tried to explain in vain to Lola why the devil is in fact not nice.

I sighed, Karma obviously just doesn't know how to deal with lola, "yo squishy tell lola that Leviathan is like a burnt cookie. That got burnt on purpose."

The room was silent for a long moment as Lola held the stuffed animal to her ear humming a bit. Then she suddenly gasped, "OH MY GUMDROPS THATS HORRIBLE! THE DEVIL IS A BURNT COOKIE!"

Karma sort of just gaped at lolas sudden understanding. "How does any of that make sense to her?"

I shrugged, walking from the room, "its lola. You have to apply her logic or your getting nowhere. Sweet is good, bitter is bad. Destroying sweet is the worst."

"What? Bro! You cant just leave me with her! I always mess up your shit and obviously i have been talking to her wrong."

I ignored him, wondering off down one of the many hallways of Leviathans home.

Karma would figure out.

Or I would beat the hell out of him again.