Pieces of Forever

15 - KERRI

Kerri

I sit parked outside Terrance's house, staring at the house as though it's going to do a trick. I've been sitting out here for the past hour, listening to the music from my phone. I want to talk to him, before I go out of town to go see my brother. I tried to get Mel to come with me to Atlanta, but Cameron came and popped that balloon. Now, I'm going to see if I can grab his ass and make him be the bigger person.

Truthfully, I don't know who is the bigger fuck up in their relationship. Jason was faithful to Mel all the way, until she let Cameron lick between her thighs. I guess that was his boiling point. I would had taken her secretes to the grave, but the damn girl decided to tell Terrance the one thing that she wasn't supposed to. Hell, she could have told him about Antonio and I still talking and I would have been okay. But no, she had to tell him my worse secret.

Terrance and I have been ignoring each other, since the hotel party. I really don't know much about what he's been up to. Terrance is the kind of guy that keeps a very low profile. You have to be in his circle to know what's going on in his life. I look at my phone, wishing that Jason would pick up his damn phone. Since last night, all my calls been going straight to voicemail. I know that most likely he's really upset with Mel. Me and my big mouth told him too much. I should have never told him the whole situation. Now, he's probably thinking that Mel was playing with his ass this whole damn time.

I roll my eyes and lean back in my seat. Well, there's not much I can do about it right now. I will just talk to him, when I get to him. Luckily Mel had gave me the address, before Cameron popped his ass at the house.

I really don't want to do this drive alone. This drive is going to take me forever and by myself . . . It's going to feel like life. The only reason I find myself outside Terrance's house is because Jason wants me to talk to him. What Jay baby wants, I will try my hardest to make it happen. I'm scared shitless of facing Terrance. I really don't know what to say to him.

I continue to stare at his front door, wishing I could drag my ass out the car and ring his door bell. Maybe I can call him and ask him to come out. Hell, I don't even know if the boy is home at all.

The truth of the matter is that I'm crazy about Terrance. Terrance is my baby. How Mel feels about Jason is the way that I feel about Terrance. Yeah, he makes entirely too many mistakes for me to still be with him. Even with all his mistakes, I know that he loves me. Terrance is an A class fuck up and that's probably why I thought it was okay for me to get an abortion on him. I really didn't think that he was ready for a baby. It's the only reason why I had gotten an abortion. I was trying to wait for a little time, before I lie about a miscarriage, but Mel spoiled those plans.

Terrance front door opens, and he steps out. I sit up in my seat immediately. My heart begins beating faster at just the sight of him. Terrance squints his eyes a little and looks dead at the car. I suddenly curse at myself for having my windows rolled all the way down.

Taking a deep breath, I step out the car and put my hands on top of the car. Terrance just looks at me, but I can clearly see all the hurt and rage in his eyes. He has never been the type to put his hands on me, but the night at the hotel party . . . He put the fear of God in me. For real.

Terrance and I stare each other down for a few more minutes, before I actually get the nerve to walk up to him. I pull my jeans up and toss my phone in the car through the window. I step from around the car and walk slowly up to Terrance. He looks so sexy right now with his arms crossed with his face scrunched up in a frown. I really don't know what I'm going to say to him, so I'm just going to wing the whole conversation.

I stand inches away from him, not breaking his gaze. "Hey."

"What the fuck do you want?"

I expected this type of greeting from him. First I kill our first child, then I ignore him for two weeks. Yeah, I'm wrong.

"I'm sorry." I speak just above a whisper, but I know that he can hear me. "I was wrong. I just didn't think you were ready." I look away from him, because he is staring intensely into my eyes. "I can't have a child with someone that isn't ready."

"Then, you shouldn't be fucking me without a condom, if that's how you feel. You should have just walked away from me altogether."

I nod my head, because he is completely right. See, Terrance and I have this dysfunctional type of love. He screws up a lot and in return, I play with his mind to get him back on track. This time I have went too far.

"Would it kill you to actually be faithful?" I ask, a little bit irritated.

Everyone who knows Terrance, knows that he is what most dogs are made out of. This boy is the biggest cheater. When we first started talking, he used to try to hide it from me. Then, in Junior year he would just break up with me, just to chase some random's ass. Senior year, he just didn't give a fuck. This boy had fucked half the girls in our school. He doesn't turn down pussy. EVER. This is the price I pay for trying to be with one of the handsomest boy in school.

It sucks being one of the best friends of one of the sexiest boys in school, but to be his side kick's girlfriend . . . Is far more worse. At times, I thought Jason would rub off on Terrance, but Terrance has polluted Jason's heart, because now he's all the way in Atlanta claiming to have a new baby. How? He has a wife. Jason and Terrance together is a recipe for disaster.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I was faithful from the moment you told me that you were carrying my seed!"

I cross my arms and continue to look down at the pavement. "Maybe you should have been before." I mumble my words.

"Are you really trying to make up excuses on why you killed our child? I told you that I was going to be there for you. I told you that I wanted to marry your ass!" He takes a step closer to me.

"Actions speak louder than words." I'm pretty good at placing blame on him. I mean, he had made so many mistakes with us throughout the years, that it's really simple. He was only acting right for a few months.

Terrance narrows his eyes and takes a couple steps away from me. "Go home, Kerri, before I choke the fuck out of you."

I tilt my head to the side and just look at him. This is not his first time threatening me, and I'm pretty sure it won't be his last. "Are you?"

Terrance puts his arms behind his back and just looks at me as though he's trying to control himself. "I'm so done with playing games with your ass. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Do you, ma, because I'm going to do me."

I roll my eyes at his last words. "Nigga, you already been doing you. Please don't use my actions as an excuse to why you like dicking down the whole fucking neighborhood. One day your ass is going to catch some shit that's going to take more than a few days of medication to clear up."

Terrance's jaw clenches and he just nods his head. I can tell that he's done talking with me. I decide to hit him with one more verbal punch, before I walk away from him.

"I glad that I'm still talking to Antonio. Maybe he can take this ride with me to Atlanta." I turn around from him, trying to hide the hurt that I feel deep inside.

"Your hoe ass."

I turn around the moment that the words leave his lips. "I'm a hoe? Boy, you done fucked more girls in the last few years, than money you make from your broke down deejaying job. But I'm a hoe? Fine. If I'm a hoe, Ima be his hoe. Get the fuck out of here!"

Terrance keeps his arms behind his back without saying a single word. He just keeps his eyes on me. I know that he knows me better than I know myself. I turn away from him, shaking my head in disgust. I still want him in my life. I hate that I feel this way for him, because I deserve someone so much better than him. I secretly pray that I will get my own little Jason. Jason is bit cheesy, but he knows how to treat a lady.

"Tell you what. You killed my spirit, and I killed your child. We're even. Bye." I walk away from him without turning around to look at him. I stick my middle finger up, hoping that he is still watching me. I guess that I will have to do this drive by myself.