Pieces of Forever

30 - JASON

Jason

It's been a few days, since I left the message on Mel's voicemail. I even confide in Kerri about leaving a sappy ass message on her machine, hoping that she would question her friend to see what was up. Kerri never did get back to me. Since her and Terrance had gotten engaged, her priority isn't my business. I remember the days, when she considered keeping Mel and I together her main job title.

Now I find myself sitting alone on top of my kitchen counter doing shot after shot, thinking about the pretty girl who stole my heart and broke it. I so badly want to cry all the pain that I feel inside, but I doubt that would solve a single thing. It would leave me feeling more like a wimp than I feel at this moment. I listen to the music from my phone as I take another shot and down it. I set the glass down on the counter. I swear this seems to be my normal for the past few days. I seriously can't handle rejection too well. I knew that I loved Mel. I just didn't know that I loved her so much that I felt sick without her.

I slump over, staring at the beige kitchen tiles with thoughts of her consuming my mind. I keep replying all my regrets over and over again. I should have never changed my number. I should have never told her to keep in contact with Terrance. I let out a bitter chuckle as I reach over to pour myself another shot in my glass. This will be like my seventh, or eighth shot so far. I lost count after doing five shots. I hold the shot glass out in the air.

"To broken hearts and failed relationships." I slur my words as I bring the glass to my lips, and I gulp the liquor in a matter of seconds. My vision gets a little blurry as I set the glass back down.

I listen to the words to the song playing and nod my head to it. "I don't want to lose this relationship, so we gotta stay strong. Don't want to move on." I sing a bit off key with the song. "I did you wrong. You did wrong. I take you back. You take me back." Suddenly, my mind is clouded with thoughts of Mel and I arguing and fighting. That girl could get a rise out of me better than anyone I knew. I smile, picturing her pushing me out of her way, when I used to get in her face. "Because I love you. And, girl, I want you. And, girl, I need you. So, let's just work it out. I'm not tryna waste your time. And I ain't tryna waste my time. And ain't no need to waste no time, 'cuz we done put in too much time." By now, I'm singing the song with all my heart. I think about the make up sex that we had with one another. How we would always make these silly promises to not fight again.

I close my eyes, nodding to the song. I already know that I'm all in my feelings and this liquor and music have very little to do with it. The knock at the door makes me open my eyes. I glance at the door, wondering who might be on the other side. I really don't have it in me to deal with anyone. I haven't spoken to Ashlee or Kayla, since Kerri left. I figured that I would stop being 'selfish' as Kerri called me and let Ashlee go. I'm doing to her the exact same thing that Mel did to me, only Mel was a little more remorseful. Well, I like to think she was.

I jump off the countertop, when the stubborn person on the other side of the door continues knocking. I stagger to the door, stopping at a mirror hanging on my wall to catch a glimpse of my reflection. I let out a deep breath, because I look like hell warmed over. I've been in my place, having my own personal pity party. I continue to the front door and look out the peep hole, not wanting to exactly be surprised. Ashlee is standing on the other side of the door with tired sad eyes. I watch her bite her bottom lip as she knocks on the door again.

"Damn." I rather deal with Kayla than Ashlee. Ashlee is the last person I would want to deal with. This is because I have some sort of feelings for her. My feelings are not as deep as the ones that I have for Melissa, but something is there for her. I lick my lips a little, making a little promise that I will not snap on her the way that I did last time.