Pieces of Forever

32 - JASON

Jason

I stare at the television, not really paying attention to the show. The only thing that keeps going through my mind is that Kerri is having her fourth of July party in exactly two days. I already know that there's a big chance that Mel will be there. I've been debating rather or not to go by myself to the party. Truthfully, I don't think it matters, because Mel still hadn't gotten back in touch with me. I poured my heart out to her and begged for her to call me back just to have her ignore me.

"Earth to Jason!" Ashlee waves her hand in my face, trying to get my attention. I glance at her for a second and go back to looking at the television screen. "Want to talk about it?" She asks in a soft voice.

"Not really." I admit to her.

Ashlee frowns, but doesn't say anything. She goes back to watching television. In the last few days, Ashlee and I have been okay. I still feel like I'm missing something. I know that I've said that I will move on, but I need Mel to tell me to my face that it's over. I need her to sign divorce papers for me to fully move on.

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and take it out enough just to see the screen. It's Kayla calling me. She's been straight blowing me up, since I left her ass naked in the bedroom. From experience, I know that she will most likely tell Ashlee about us being together. Girls do shit like that to hurt one another. I told myself that I will tell Ashlee, but I really don't know how to tell her. I don't want her to lose more trust in me. I turn my phone off and put it back in my pocket.

Although Ashlee and I have been getting better, we still haven't had sex. I think she has me on punishment.

"You're so quiet. It's making me nervous." She turns to look at me. "Talk to me about what you're thinking."

"Do you want to go to Kerri's engagement party with me?" I ask her, finally taking my eyes off the television set. I find myself asking her this question to score some brownie points. I'm hoping that she sees what a big deal it is to meet my family and come with me to my stomping ground.

A smile tug at her lips a little. "Um . . . That's in Chicago."

"I know. I'm asking you to go to Chicago with me." I look into her eyes, hoping that she can hear how sincere I sound.

I don't really know if I want her to go to Chicago with me, but I know that I need her to rebuild trust in me. My whole reason for going to Chicago was to talk to Mel face to face and finally come to a decision about us. I need to know, if she's really going to walk the fuck away from us. I need to hear her tell me that Cameron had replaced me and that she's completely in love with him. I just figure that I'll take Ashlee with me, so that it appears that I'm trying to be whoever she wants me to be.

She searches my eyes for a second. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You could meet my mom and dad." I sigh, deeply. It's so hard to sound convincing. "It'll be great."

She nods her head yes, but not that yes that says she'll come with me. It's more like a yes that she's trying to figure me out.

"Are you sure?" She asks again. I knew that I didn't sound convincing enough for her.

"Ash, I'm just trying to bring you into my world. I want to show you that I'm serious. We need to get away for a few days and enjoy ourselves. Please?" This time I'm sure that I nailed it at trying to sound like I want her to come with me.

"Okay." She whispers. She bites her lip a little. "I just want to make sure that you know exactly what you are doing. She will be there."

I know exactly who she is. "I told you that I'm over it." I lie to her, turning to look back at the television. I can feel her eyes on me, but I choose to ignore it.

*****

I have the music blasting as I drive into Illinois. I glance over at Ashlee, sleeping in the passenger's seat. It's crazy, because the only reason that I invited her was because Melissa didn't return my message. After realizing that she didn't want me in her life anymore, I decided to really give Ashlee everything inside of me,or the part of me that's not damaged.

No lie, I'm really nervous about going to this party that Terrance and Kerri is throwing. I know that Melissa will be there, but I wonder if she's going to be flaunting her relationship with Cameron. I wonder if she will speak to me, or even make eye contact with me. Hell, she might not even show up at all. She might hate me.

My phone rings, and I turn the radio down a little to take the call.

"What's up? I'm driving."

"Hey, sexy sexy." Kerri says into the phone.

I smile a little at her words. "What's up, Ker baby?"

"Where you at?"

"In Illinois."

Kerri lets out a loud squeal. I swear this girl acts like she didn't just leave me a week ago. I swear I love this silly ass girl. "My baby is almost here! Terry, he's in Illinois right now! So, the party starts at five, until you want to leave."

"I know. You already told me."

"Terrance wants to know if you brought Ashlee with you."

"Man, she's lying! You know I don't really care who you bring." Terrance shouts in the background.

He's not telling me something that I don't know I already. I know Kerri better than Terrance does. She's my twin.

"Well, I'm just asking, because Mel told me today that she's coming to the party."

I really don't know what to think about this. I already knew that Mel wasn't going to miss being a supportive friend to Kerri. Kerri wouldn't let her.

"Is she bringing him?"

"Who's him?" Kerri plays dumb.

"Never mind." I really don't want to play her game. She knows that I want to know if Cameron will be there with Melissa.

"Nooo . . . He won't be there. She said that he has to go out of town with his cousins for a few hours. So, are you bringing ol' girl?"

I look over at Ashlee. Damn . . . I should have came home alone. I just didn't know that I would have the opportunity to talk with Mel alone.

"I'll talk with you later, Ker. I'm on the road."

"Jason, I'm going to put my foot - - -"

I hang the phone up on her. "I know." I mumble to myself. I can put my foot in my own ass. "Shit." I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

On one hand, I'm excited that I will see Mel up close and personal. On the other hand, I'm kind of concern about how everything will play out at the party. I shake my head, because I shouldn't have been so quick to bring Ashlee home with me.

I let out a quiet groan at the mess that I created. Kerri was right about me involving Ashlee in my drama. I know that I want to be with Melissa. Now I'm sitting in the car, unsure what to do about tonight. I don't want to look like a horrible boyfriend, but I already know that I'm about to do some fucked up things tonight with Mel being alone. I don't plan on living Chicago without her this time.