STALK [l.h]

● 04 ●

V I C T O R I A

As soon as I slammed the door shut when I entered our house, my mother's voice eminated from the kitchen. "Honey? Who was that boy on our porch? You should've invited him inside dear."

I went straight up to my room not even acknowledging my mother's presence. I just wanted to be alone, as always. I get irritated when someone talks to me. If you're not Luke Hemmings, don't talk to me.

I threw my bag across my room aiming for my bed, but instead it fell on the floor, not even bothering to fix it. I propped myself in my bed hiding my face in the pillows. My mind drifted back to what Luke said.

it's complicated

That wasn't a yes, but it certainly wasn't a no either. I asked him a simple question if they were dating or not. This just makes things so much more confusing.

I grabbed my laptop and adjusted my self in my bed to a more comfortable position. I had a ton of notifications from all this social shit, but all of them was about Luke. Everytime he would post, or tweet about something I would know. I scanned everything then went to facebook. My fingers paused on top of the keyboard for a second

"Talia--" I whispered as I typed "Sanders" then I clicked to the person with Talia's face on it.

Even her status said 'It's complicated' and I thought about Luke again. dammit

She was absolutely gorgeous. That I hated it so much.

I clicked on her profile picture. Then clicked to another one. and another.

and another.

and another.

and another.

ugh, even in her candid photos, she looked so beautiful. There was one when she was at the beach and her hair was wet but she still looked pretty.

I don't understand how she looks so pretty at the beach with her hair wet and I just looked like a real fucked up piece if seaweed! (a/n: true shit tho)

She had a lot of photos with Luke. They looked so good together, and they seem to spend time with each other a lot. There were photos from a few parties, some in the city, a few other places that I didn't recognize, they also had one when they were eating ice cream and Luke had some ice cream on his nose while she laughed. I read the comments saying how cute they looked together, a lot were saying something like "I ship you guys" heart shape emoticon. It made me sick, sad, and really jealous, and the worst part is I knew that I didn't have to right to be jealous at all. Because I was just some girl in his english class.

I looked at more photos of Talia. She always wore clothes that had color. She looks so lively in each photo. Her long brown wavy hair, her bright blue eyes, rosy cheeks and lips. Her body is so perfect, I don't even think she has something to feel bad about herself.

I wanted to talk shit about her, I tried looking for something bad about her but I couldn't. She was just plain flawless.

I got up from my bed and walked to my bathroom. I had a huge mirror there and I looked at myself. I tilted my head slightly to the side. I was trying to look for a good angle. I fixed my black shirt. I noticed that I never really wore anything besides black, white or gray. Nothing else, I had a few clothes with other colors but all those were by my mom, believe me or not. She had really good tastes in fashion and she has the best clothes, she picked out a lot for me but I never dared to wear any of them. She must be really disappointed having one child, which is a girl and she couldn't doll her up just like she always wanted to.

I cupped my boobs and noticed how small they were, like just really flat, and hanging. No one likes that. Talia's boobs were perfect, did she have them made? I bet Luke would notice if I had bigger boobs.

I tried fixing my hair. It looked the same. Just dull and boring. Pretty much like the rest of my whole being.

"Victoria honey! Dinner!"

I groaned as I walked out of my room not wanting to eat. My feet lazily walked down the stairs, taking my time. I reached the kitchen seeing my mom and my dad seated already.

"This looks great honey" my dad commented as he flashed my mother a smile as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Can you guys just NOT do that in front of me" I spoke up letting out a faint cough then picked up my fork.

"Awwwe, sweetie you're just saying that, I'm pretty sure you'll understand when you find someone." Luke, I wish.

We ate dinner in complete silence. My father clearly enjoying my mother's cooking. She was always a great cook, a very succesful woman and a great mom. So was my dad, he was also the ideal dad anyone wanted to have. I was just a terrible daughter.

I looked at how happy and how normal they are. Why can't I be like that? When everyone was done eating. My father rose from his seat and told us he'd be in his office for a minute to work on something. My mom also got up and grabbed the dishes from the table before setting them all in the sink. I guess now's the time that I talked to her. I gulped before I spoke. "Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"Could you--perhaps. Help me with something?"

"Sure anything dear, what is it about?"

I just looked down, not knowing how to say it and motioned to myself. My mother just raised her eyebrows clearly confused by me then I raised my hand and pointed at myself again emphasizing on my clothing.

"Oh. Oh! That! Yes yes of course darling! Why didn't you say so! We can fix that right away, oh goodness I'm so excited we could--"

"Mom--" I cut her off "you're rambling" she smiled and fanned herself with her hands. "Im sorry sweetie, Im just really happy."

I didnt blame her. All these years I've been really distant to her and I guess this was just few of the times when we had a real conversation and me asking her for advice.

I wish this works, and no matter how absolutely shallow this sounds.

I wanted to change for Luke Hemmings.

--

i know y'all are getting pretty sick of this, but i promise ill throw the other characters in there. i just wanna make the whole concept clear before me move on haha. ill throw in other POVs in there too so just sit tight. i have good things planned fo dis haha love you lots. xx