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shoutout to Jessica_Hemmo for being awesooooommmee! you guys should really go follow her, she's really funny and amazing, this chapter is for you boo :*

V I C T O R I A

After countless hours of waiting, we were finally allowed to go see Luke again.

Liz, Andrew, Ashton and I was inside Luke's room. We didn't talk at all. I didn't think any of us wanted to anyways, we were all too deep in thought and in pain, drowning in worry.

I kept my eyes to Luke, he looked really really bad. He was lucky that he even survived the crash, I was thankful he was alive, but even though it hurt seeing him in pain like that, death was visible in his features.

Ashton had his hand intertwined with mine the whole time, and I appreciated that because I knew all he wanted was to comfort me, but I grew a little bit uncomfortable with it for a while since he was being extremely clingy since the accident. He would kiss me in for no reason at all, and im not talking about virgin kisses here. I just wish he knew I didn't need this type of attention right now.

"I-I need some time alone" I said as I rose of from my seat fixing my shirt. Ashton looked up to me with worried eyes. "Where are you going? I'm coming with" he hesitated. "Alone Ashton, please" I urged and let go of his hand.

"but I wanna come with you--"

"No Ash" I snapped at him with my voice raised a little higher this time. He was getting annoying. These past few days Ashton was acting weird. He looked tired all the time, his eyes were always so red and he just looked different now but I guess he was just stressed out. Before I could even exit the room Liz stood up from beside Luke's bed. "Hon, I'm gunna go and get us some food. You look over Luke okay?" She told Andy "No, I'll go with you"

"but no one's gunna--"

"It's alright Mr. and Mrs. H, I'll look after Luke" That's when Ashton chimed in and a small smile crept to my lips.

"Are you sure?" Andy asked and Ashton nodded with a smile. "Yeah, It'll be fine"

and I figured Ashton wasn't so bad at all. I appreciate him trying to cope up things with Luke, for Luke. I know they weren't in good terms and seeing him offering to help the Hemmings and also being there for me was a big accomplishment.

I continued to exit the room and looked around me as I walked still ignoring the smell of hospital that used to make me cringe and now it was like I'm already getting used to it. It's been days since the accident and I haven't been home yet, my parent's weren't at home anyways and Ashton got me clothes so I could stay here since I couldn't bring Luke out of my sight.

I stopped and sighed a bit as I looked at the specific place where I wouldn't expect to be in again.

The small chapel inside the hospital.

There were just a few people in here, just four people including me. On the other corner I looked at an old woman who was closing her eyes and folding her hands and so did the rest of the people there.

I walked down the small aisle and got settled on the front left side of the chapels and knelt on the soft cushion that was in the stands facing the altar. I put my hands in front of me interwining them with each other as I looked up at the figure in front of me.

"God, Jesus, I don't what they call you but look, to be honest, I don't know if you're real. I haven't been a good person lately, I don't usually do this but--" I spoke softly my voice cracking up feeling my eyes pool with tears again.

"Just please p-please I beg of you. I beg of you just please save him. Please do everything to save him. I love him so mu-uch--" I finally said breaking into sobs. "Take me, take me if you want, just please not Luke. He deserves so much, he's a good person. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Save good people? Please don't make him suffer. Let him live, I love him--"

"I love him" I repeated my head resting onto my intertwined fingers. Tears falling down my face and leaving circles of tear drops on the wooden stand in front of me where I was leaning.

* * *

A S H T O N

I stayed inside the room alone with Luke whilst Liz and Andy went to get food and Tori, well, somewhere else.

I looked at Luke, tilting my head sidewards examining his face.

"You're real lucky aren't ya? You're supposed to be dead by now" I spoke to him, I laughed mentally at myslf knowing this whole thing was pointless. He was fucking unconscious, he couldn't hear me but I felt like letting it out now.

"Even if you're practically dying and all ruined now, I still notice the way she looks at you Hemmings--" I sighed lookig down at my hands.

"It's so unfair. It's just so unfair. How can she still love you? She has me. I was the one who was there for her since day one, I was there for her when she cried over you, I made her happy!" I practically yelled at his unconscious body as I stood up and walked towards him. The tears that I have been trying to hold back for long enough, were now pouring out of my eyes.

I looked at him. I looked at him with pure disgust, and envy "--but, it's never gunna be enough is it? because you're still here Luke"

I reached over to my pocket still hesistating whether I should do it or not, but then the memories came flooding onto me, hitting me like a bus. All those years of being always being second best, all those times she cried over him, all those times that I tried to be everything Luke Hemmings was just for her.

That drew the line for me, and I have made the decision to cross that line. I pulled out the syringe from my pocket and stared at it for a moment until I brought it near Luke's hand where the tube of his dextrose was taped. "say goodbye Hemmings" I said but as I was about to insert it. The door was wide open revealing a shocked Victoria.

"A-ashton? What are you doing?" she asked and I didn't hesitate to push the syringe in but before I could even push the rest of the deadly liquid in. I felt her push me and wrap her arms around me trying to get the syringe from my hand.

"Ashton! This isn't you! No!" I fought with her and snatched the syringe back from her hands, since she was weaker and smaller. I had the higher advantage and grabbed both of her wrists and slammed her against the wall her head bouncing off it.

"Heelllp!" she yelled and I slammed her again harder this time. "Shut up! I'm ending your misery right here and right now!"

"Killing Luke won't do you any good at all Ashton, please listen to me" she managed to say between sobs, her eyes pooling with tears and so much hurt, but I no longer cared.

"None of this would've fucking happened if you just loved me you fucking bitch!" I yelled at her face as she adverted her gaze from me still crying for help.

"I do Ashton, I love you" lies, and it angered me so much more than before "You liar!" I yelled again but after that I felt an arm pull my shoulder that made me turn around, only to see an angry faces Andrew and he hit me right on the cheek and it sent me straight to the ground.

Security was behind him quickly kneeling down to me and putting my arms behind my back. "Get him out of here! You rot in jail!" Andy yelled and I just looked down on myself feeling weak and completely numb, both physically and emotionally this time. I looked over to my side and saw a passed out Tori with Liz kneeling beside her on the floor.

"If you would've just loved me" I whispered silently to myself as I let one last tear fall and the guards dragged me outside the room.

* * *

well seems like ashton went a bit cray cray now

btw for those who were asking, nope im not ending this story yet. We still gotta make up some Lori moments here fellas!

BUUUUT im going back to school since the break is over but ill try and update more often for you guys, you've all been so nice and amazing! thank you so much for 3K that means a lot to me, don't forget to vote, comment and and that shit ily all xx.

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