Jay Cee El

Twenty One // Something More

[rewritten]

Here is the next chapter! I hope you like the P.O.V change ;)

Enjoy!

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Niall's P.O.V

The flat was quiet, the only sound you could hear was the sound of my guitar playing. On the coffee table sat a notebook with the notes to one of our song and I read other lines, playing the right chords as I did. A smile found its way onto my face and I felt my braces rub against the bottom of my lip. I moved my guitar to the side and picked up the notebook, flipping through a few pages until I found the song that I was looking for.

With the Up All Night tour ending just a month ago, I found myself having a lot of free time. Normally I would hang out with one of the guys but they were all busy today, hanging out with their girlfriends. Well, Zayn and Liam were. Sadly, Eleanor and Louis broke up a few months ago. Louis was somewhere with Harry, a hangout that I had turned down. I had thought that Hannah would've wanted to hang out with today, but she had to help out one of her friends from school, leaving me alone in the flat.

I should get out of the house and hang out with some of my other friends, but I just didn't have the energy to. I've been hit with so much hate on Twitter, it's making me feel really lousy about myself and I just don't have the energy to do much anymore. It sucks being the victim of what they hate. The worst part is that you never get used to it. I've received so much hate since the band was formed back in two thousand and twelve. I still haven't gotten used to the numb feeling it will bring you, or the feeling of worthlessness, or even the amount of self hate it can cause.

Over the months it still hasn't gotten better, but things help. I get lost in my music which helps a lot, and I have my friends to help take my mind of off it. I'd like to say that my girlfriend helps make me feel better, but the truth is, I don't know where we stand anymore.

Hannah and I used to be great, we were perfect. In my eyes we were. Though there were times when I think she's more into the money and fame I have. It was all so new to me, I didn't know and wouldn't know if she was in it for the money or not. The lads have told me a few times that she's questionable, but I guess I choose not to see it.

There have been times were she's asked me for something expensive. I always felt like I needed to get them for her because she was my girlfriend. Liam buys Danielle stuff, sure it's not expensive but... I don't know. I always felt like I had to. She's paying for Uni and everything, I figured she didn't have any other money to get the jewelry and shit she wanted. Sure it's a pain sometimes, but I love her. There's not that many girls that ever really gave me a chance like she has.

Sometimes I'll think of breaking up with her. I know I shouldn't be in a relationship with someone like her, but what else am I supposed to do? I sighed loudly and set the notebook down, suddenly not interested in the music as I had been before. My thoughts had ruined my mood, per usual.

I know it's not healthy to think like this, but I can't help it. It feels like I'm missing out on something. I know that I have my band, and my career, and the fans that love us. But I know that I'm missing out on something. I look at Liam and Danielle and they are so happy together. Zayn and Perrie are even happier, they are perfect for each other. I want what they have. I thought that I could have that with Hannah, but she doesn't seem to want that. She's got all her school friends and her schoolwork. She's too busy a lot of the time to establish a real relationship.

We've been dating pretty much since I moved out here. We dated through the tour and after, so it's like everyone expects us to be together. She's accepted by the fans, sometimes I think she's more accepted than I am. I leaned back against the couch, just as I heard the door opening. I looked up from my lap and saw Hannah walk in.