Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 24: Practice

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We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone ~Ronald Reagan

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After all the things that had gone down on the weekend I decided it was best to take a break. I needed some time alone. So, I went to school by foot, trotted through the hallways to my classes alone and sat by myself on a small table during lunch break. 

However much I enjoyed some time to breathe it didn't go unnoticed. My friends had asked me on several different occasions why I was ignoring them. They also tried to force me into accepting them to be around by walking with me side by side to my locker or my classes. But I had told them that this actually had the opposite affect on me and tried to explain to them that I just needed some time to myself. 

And eventually they gave me what I asked for. Time to be alone with my thoughts.

I was already dreading practice. What the heck was I thinking when I had accepted this deal on Friday? When I thought about it now my stomach was clenching with fear.

And as though all my anxiety over football wasn't enough Sam was constantly invading my thoughts. I couldn't sleep properly last night, because I was thinking about our small amount of time together. The things he had said, the way he had moved, the smile on his face and lastly my brain created various different silly fangirl scenarios of how we would meet again. It was stupid, really, but I couldn't stop.

And on top of that I had a weird dream about Ryan. Like really weird. But the thing is I couldn't remember what it was about, the only thing I knew was that it had been really weird.

Do you know those dreams? They are like a faint memory of your childhood. You know some things, but you can't remember the bigger picture. Maybe it is a defense mechanism of our brain, maybe it doesn't want us to remember specific things or situations, because they are too hurtful or humiliating to bear. Or maybe, in my case, it is irrelevant and you don't need the information you would get out of it. Or maybe it hides everything from you, because it would destroy the things that actually matter, not some fantasy.

Self preservation.

So, here I was, in the far back of the cafeteria on the probably loneliest table known to mankind, listening to music while reading and eating my lunch at the same time, desperately trying not to overthink everything. I was tapping my foot to the beat when someone touched my shoulder, jerking me back to reality. "Hey," I smiled up at him after taken my earbuds out.

"H-hey, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, that's okay," I reassured him.

"I j-j-just saw you t-there alone an-and I thought... er.. is everything okay?"

I was just about to answer him when we were interrupted. 

Ryan's POV

I gave her space and now she won't even talk to me. This is ridiculous, I didn't do anything wrong, I thought while stabbing my food. And then Chris approached her table.

And I lost it. I marched over to her despite Drake's warnings. "So, this nerd is allowed to talk to you, but not us? Not me?" I snapped, anger popping out of nowhere.

"Chris was just asking if I was okay. He was on his way to his table, right?" she asked him. He nodded.

"Liz, what are you doing? Why are you pushing all of us away?"