Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 51: Life is Liz

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The Flower doesn't dream of the Bee. It blossoms and the Bee comes. ~Mark Nepo

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I had a full schedule for the day. I was currently at Ryan's, working on our literature project before we would meet our group of friends, including Sam, and go out for dinner. Afterwards, we'd head over to the party a teammate was throwing.

I was excited, but I wasn't particularly keen on the exhaustion that would surely follow.

However, now sitting in Ryan's room I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I'd been here and he'd told me about Alex. So, excusing myself to get something to drink I ventured downstairs and looked for Rachel in hopes she could answer some of the questions that were interrupting my sleeping pattern.

Upon entering the kitchen I found her unloading the dishwasher.

"Hey, uh, Rachel?" I asked tentatively.

She hummed, looking over her shoulder. "Liz, what can I do for you?"

"Um, can I ask you something?"

She smiled warmly at me and stopping what she was doing, she turned to face me. "Anything, sweetheart."

I cleared my throat, pushing the long sleeves of my shirt up to my elbows while shifting from my left to my right foot. "So, um, Ryan told me everything." Her features softened. "He told me everything that happened when we were kids. Well," I sighed, my chest feeling heavy. "At least, I think he told me everything."

She stepped closer to me, hand resting on the kitchen rag lying on the counter. Suddenly, the door to the kitchen flew open and Marcus sauntered into the room. His eyes went from his wife to me and back again in silent wonder. Rachel smiled at him and reached a hand out in his direction. He didn't waste a second before he was by her side, her arm wrapping around his midriff. "It's good to see that you took the news so well and I'm... we are glad he finally told you."

I nodded. "Yeah, uh, I just wanted to ask....When Ryan..." I screwed my eyes shut for a second, realizing my mistake. "Uh, I mean, when Alex, was in the hospital did I really never visit him?"

The couple exchanged quick glances. "No, you didn't." It was Marcus who answered.

My teeth sunk down on my lower lip as my gaze slipped to the tiled floor while nodding my head.

"Why are you asking?" Rachel's tone of voice was soft as she asked me this.

"It's odd, because before he told me everything I dreamt about him. He was lying in a hospital bed and Marcus told me that he was in a deep sleep."

Again, they glanced at each other.

"But how could I have known, my parents told me that he moved away. They never even mentioned the hospital."

Rachel cleared her throat. "Liz, when his condition didn't improve we-" she broke off, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "We became desperate. So, I went to your house and talked to your mom. I knew how close you two were and so I asked your mother if it was possible for you to visit him. However, she declined." She rubbed at her eyes. "She said she was worried it might not be good for you."

My lips were pressed tightly together as I nodded. Something close to anger flickered in my chest, the place growing warm. It was funny how my parents always thought that family and friends always came first. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't objecting. However, that it were only their friends that came first was infuriating. It was okay whenever they worried about their friends, but whenever I did they needed me to calm down, because it wasn't good for my health to worry so much. Well, newsflash, I couldn't stop to feel, I couldn't just tell my brain how to work, I couldn't control it and honestly I didn't want to. Ever since I was little, worrying was a daily occurrence, so, why stop now?