Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 50: Bittersweet

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Oh, the habits of my heart

I can't say no

It's ripping me apart

You get too close

You make it hard to let you go

~Jaymes Young, Habits Of My Heart

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Ryan's POV

I'd been running on roughly four hours of sleep for the last 48 hours. My mind was fucking me up and I needed an outlet. I was so easily irritated that anyone only approaching me, I snapped at. Anyone brave enough to actually start a conversation with me I mostly brushed off while maintaining the will not to rip them in two. My facial muscles were twisted into a permanent scowl throughout the day. The urge to punch someone in the face didn't subside. However, the desire to engage in anything more than dragging myself through the day surprised me profusely seeing as my energy levels were at their all time low.

I missed sleep and caught myself almost drifting off during the day more than once. Eventually, football practice rolled around and I wasn't very enthusiastic. I was one of the last to arrive at the locker room and hurried to get changed. Meanwhile, there was light conversation flowing between the others to which I mostly didn't pay much attention to. Until Tony mentioned that they'd met Bee's boyfriend the night prior. My whole body tensed.

"Dude, I don't really know what to think of him," Jack said.

Out of my peripheral vision I saw Tony shrug. "Me neither, man."

"Guys," Logan jumped into their conversation. "We don't really know him yet. We've met him once-"

Jack scoffed. "Yeah, and during that time he managed to be a total prick." The hold my right hand had on the locker door tightened. What the fuck had the motherfucker done?!

Jeremy leaning against the lockers next to mine, noticed my strong grip. He looked at me questioningly.

"Did he hurt her?" I growled lowly. My hand clenched the metal to the point where my knuckles turned white. My heart raced in my chest as my stomach tightened while an image of a pained Bee terrorized my brain until her tear-stained face and her heartbreaking sobs were the only things I could see and hear.

"Relax, he didn't. It was not even an argument. He just reacted strange to something Liz told him," he explained calmly to me.

I nodded, my shoulders somewhat loosening their stiff position as my heart rate slowed.

Jack had seemingly listened in on our interaction as he scoffed. "You can say that again, bro."

"Relax, Logan is right," Liam said. "The only one actually knowing him is Liz and until we figure him out the only thing we can do is trust her judgement."

Jack shot him a look. "Trust Liz' judgement? Do you know the girl?"

I rolled my eyes although I could see where he was coming from. She was the kind of person that believed in the good of people even when they were a mean mess on the outside.

In a way I had her to thank that we were friends. Would she not be the person that she was I doubted my plan would have worked out, because God knew I was a mess on the outside and inside.

"She may be naive sometimes, but that doesn't mean she's stupid," I interjected quite defensively, my heart burning in my chest.

Their gazes turned to me in surprise before Logan spoke, "He's right. When it comes to trust, Liz is noone to fool with. She wouldn't be with him if she thought he wasn't a good guy and honestly, I think it's safe to say that our very first impression of him isn't that bad either." They nodded in agreement.