Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 45: Family Reunions

Hey guys

Warning: not my best chappy!

Song up there is a cover of As long as you love me by Sleeping at Last. I highly recommend to listen to it while reading. 

Enjoy!

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Loneliness has always been a friend of mine

~Backstreet Boys, As long as you love me

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"I have the feeling you are keeping something from me lately."

I sighed, shaking my head as I walked out the bathroom and down the hall. The words of my therapist cut me deep. It left me breathless. Choking on air.

It made me realize that maybe the walls I'd built around myself weren't made of bricks after all. I could only hope that they were made out of glass rather than paper, because although easily see through, it took a lot of strength to shatter. Paper was easy, you could just tear it down without breaking out in a sweat.

Still, the realization that she was able to see through my facade paralyzed me. It left me with the strong urge to cry. And it filled me with... guilt. It filled me with guilt.

I wasn't strong enough to keep up a happy facade, I wasn't strong enough to play pretend, not even for the ones I loved. I wasn't able to fool anyone...

Walking past my sister's room, she was quick to call me back to her. "Hey," she greeted me once I opened her door. Her tone of voice made it crystal clear to me that she wanted something.

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned casually against the doorway, heart still aching, stomach still twisted painfully. "What?"

"You wanna help me study?"

I pursed my lips. "Tori, I need to do my homework."

"But I'm in college that's more important." She meant it as a joke. I wasn't amused.

I gave her a look. "And I'm in Highschool."

"Oh come on, please."

"I need to finish homework," I said before turning around. I could hear her mutter a very displeased and irritated 'fine' before I closed the door behind me.

I took one step. Two steps. Three steps until the guilt settled in. I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath.

What was that about being selfless?, my brain chided me.

I sighed, opened her door and announced that I was indeed going to help her. Finally, she was happy.

Believe it or not, we actually had a great time. We laughed a lot and joked around. I really enjoyed myself. It was just sad that most of the time my only chance at spending quality time with my sister was through school work. Also, it hurt. My heart clenched in my chest as a hollowness washed over my body.

"By the way, what are you gonna wear for dinner?" She asked after she'd put all her school stuff away.

Internally, I groaned. I was not looking forward to this family reunion, not one bit. My stomach had been knotted up for days. Unfortunately though I couldn't skip it.

"I don't know yet."

"You wanna borrow some of my stuff?" I shrugged in answer. She jumped up from her bed and went to her closet. "What's your favorite color to wear?" She asked while sifting through her clothes. When my answer included that I had no idea she asked again, persistent.