Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 65: I Love You Too

Hello my beautiful flowers!

Sorry for the wait, but it was worth, it believe me. 

Leave a comment, because I'm dying to know your thoughts on this chappy eek! 

Also, listen to the song at the top after Sam leaves. Lol. 

Enjoy. I love you too.

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You are so worthy of everything

I have to give
But I burn with feeble offerings
Nothing to sustain
Fan against the flame
Oh what I've made

So take all of me
Please take all of me

It's like I'm running away from me
It's like I've taken the puzzle in me
And left it scrambled for all to see

It's like I'm fighting behind these walls
And hiding through metaphors
This is real, these are flaws  

~Unworthy, Vancouver Sleep Clinic

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While I'd come to the conclusion that it was okay to share personal information with Sam I'd also realized that I couldn't be intimate with him. I couldn't cross that line. I wasn't ready yet and he just had to accept that. Of course, I didn't tell him that when he asked for the reason. Instead, I told him we couldn't go there yet, because it was that time of the month. I was aware that I had to come out and have a mature conversation with him about it eventually, but I wasn't in the mood to go through that talk right now. I'd had enough comotion for one day.

Sam's reaction was as expected. His discomfort was clear as day as he rubbed the back of his neck and agreed to postpone our evening activities with a flushed face. So, instead of doing what was initially planned we got ready for bed and went to sleep.

Sam slept calmly next to me, arms around me, a snore escaping him once in a while. Ryan had finally provided me with the information I needed for tomorrow and although I knew perfectly well that I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn I was wide awake. I wasn't used to sharing my bed and although my parents had assured me Sam could sleep over any time he wanted I'd never asked him before.

I liked having my bed all to myself and with good reason. I usually moved a lot while asleep. There had been some instances when I had to share a bed with my sister and kicked her more than once in the night. Also, when I'd been in elementary school I used to be a sleepwalker. There'd been many occasions where I was taking a midnight stroll through the house on my own. After some time my mom got so scared, convinced I'd either fall down the stairs or jump out a window, she blocked the staircase and tried her best to lock all the windows.

And now lying here in bed with my boyfriend I was hyper aware of his arms wrapped around me, warm skin pressing against my own, the heat of his breath hitting the back of my neck. I felt so very uncomfortable that I couldn't fall asleep. The strange urge to be careful in what position to lie and where to touch him wasn't helping the situation either. I played with the ring on my index finger. Usually, I took it off whenever I went to bed, placing it on the top of my nightstand, but I couldn't do it tonight. I felt too vulnerable without it being in place on my finger.

When I eventually drifted off, my sleep was light and I was shaken back into consciousness whenever Sam so much as moved.

A blaring alarm woke me again after what felt like minutes. I moaned and pressed my face into the pillow.

"Wake up, Sunshine," I heard before a pair of lips trailed kisses down my neck and I was pulled into a strong chest.

His voice sounded like a shot being fired in the early morning hours of my room. "Shh," I hissed and tried to pull the blanket over my head.