Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 1: Breakdowns

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Sometimes we do have to be selfless not selfish and think of what's going to be the best for the ones we love.

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"Well, Elizabeth, how are you?" she asked, smiling at me from across the room. I wondered if all therapists start their session with that sentence, because Dr. Goodman certainly did. I fumbled with the ring on my index finger as I thought about my answer.

"I'm good," I said and forced a small smile on my face. I had yet to discover if it was a good decision to go to my therapist again. Dr. Goodman had been really nice to me, all those months ago. Nice and patient. Really patient. One thing had been really common at our appointments. There had been enough silence to fill the room. I had been really, really careful around her and used to contemplate a few minutes before replying if the words on the tip of my tongue didn't sound too stupid to actually say them out loud.

"Are you sure? Because it seems your mom is really worried about you."

I frowned. "She called you?"

This time Dr. Goodman frowned. "She didn't tell you?" Of course she would call her. Well, I guess having a mental breakdown in front of your parents had that kind of effect.

I shook my head. But still it hurt that she decided to keep this from me. I understood that she was worried and all but couldn't she just let me know that she called my therapist?

"Do you think your mom thought that we wouldn't talk about it?" she asked curiously, but with a hint of amusement.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Apparently not."

"And does that make you feel angry?"

I thought about this for a second. "Maybe a little, but em I think I'm more shocked that she did this behind my back."

She nodded. "Okay, so why don't you just tell me about things that happened lately?" she suggested.

I shifted my position in the black leather arm chair and gazed around the room, debating where to start. My eyes halted at the colorful carpet, covering the wooden floor. "Erm... So, my best friend moved to another state a few months ago."

"Your best friend, Johanna, right?" I nodded. It felt strange to hear someone say her full name. Jo and I had been knowing each other since kindergarten. We had been close friends since day one. "Where does she live now?"

"New York City," I said, my eyes moving to her face. Dr. Goodman had blonde hair, was slim and had beautiful blue eyes. She was quite tall and probably in her thirties.

"Have you ever been to New York?" I shook my head. "I've been there before around ten years ago, I think, and I was amazed-" I glanced to the plant behind her, in the corner of the room. It was so high that it almost touched the ceiling. "-should visit her some time."

I nodded, looking back at her. "Yeah, we're trying to figure out when we should visit her, but it's kind of tricky because of school and other stuff."

She nodded. "And how are you handling that so far? Your mom referred to that when we talked." Something bubbled up inside me at the mention of my mom. Anger. I shook the feeling off and concentrated on the question. I just wanted to forget she did that.

"I really miss her. I mean we are texting each other and trying to call and skype as often as possible, but I still miss not seeing her every day." She nodded but didn't write anything down. She never did anyway. Accept at our very first session she wrote some things down. But she hadn't ever since.