Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 7.

College isn't fun. It's stressful and it doesn't help me. This week I haven't made any new friends and I only really hang around Jason. It's Friday now and I'm so glad this week's almost over so I can actually chill out.

I walk through the doors to my English class and take a seat in the back row, where I've sat for the past week. Jason usually sits next to me but he's not in his usual seat. Perhaps he's late? The professor walks into the class and sets down a few books on his desk before greeting us and handing out copies of the book we're going to be studying for the next few weeks. After 20 odd minutes of writing about the book cover Jason comes through the door loudly and slumps into his seat next to me.

"You're late," I say to him.

"Yup," he says bluntly.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"I don't even know, can I talk to you after this?"

"Yeah of course," I say, a smile playing on my lips.

The class is over quickly and I shove my book into my bag and swing my bag over my shoulder. I turn to face Jason and he gives me a small smile before we both head out of the door. We walk to a small open space by a staircase and he turns me around to face him.

"I need to get this off my chest. Lana, I really like you. After that night at the party, I don't know, I just can't be away from you. You make me happy. You can judge me, I know I haven't known you for very long, but I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go to dinner tonight?" He say, blushing.

"Of course," I say, not being able to contain my smile. He hugs me and walks me to my drama class. I spend most of the class smiling and daydreaming. I wouldn't necessarily say that I loved Jason or anything like that, it's still early days. However, I do like him and I do see myself being very happy with him. He makes me happy and I haven't been happy in a very long time. Even just sleeping in the same bed as him, I didn't feel unwanted, I didn't feel hated, I didn't feel worthless. I felt wanted and happy for once. And that was a feeling I haven't felt in a very long time.

-

I meet with Jason outside my math class. He smiles at me as soon as he sees me and he holds his arms out to me. I hug him quickly and we begin to walk outside.

"How was your day?" He asks me as we head towards his car.

"It was fine thank you. How was yours?" I ask.

"The classes were shit, but thinking about dinner with you tonight helped me through," he says with a smirk as he politely opens the passenger door car for me. I blush and sit down and he closes the door and walks round and lets himself into the car.

"Where are you taking me then?" I ask as I take my phone out. He pulls out of campus and follows the long main road.

"I was thinking McDonald's," he says and laughs. I laugh along.

"I wouldn't even mind, my first date is my first date, and food is food," I say, embarrassed as he shoots me a puzzled look.

"You've never been on a date?" He asks.

"No I haven't, don't be surprised, look at me. Who would want to be seen with me in public?"

"I want to be seen with you in public. You're more beautiful than you think you are Lana. Please don't put yourself down."

"Ugh, thank you. Now change the subject before I overthink it and ruin the evening."

"Fine, and to answer your question from before we're going to Denny's," he tells me.

"I've never been there," I reply.

"You'll love it," he says. I love the fact that he's observed me so closely that he already knows where I'd like to go, what food I'd like to eat. I feel wanted. I haven't had a single bad thought all day and it's something new for me. I feel like I don't need anti depressants to even out my mood around him. He does it all for me.

We pull into a parking lot and Jason jumps out of the door and being the gentleman he is, opens my door and gives me his hand to help me out. He smiles at me before leading me into the diner and finding us a small table to sit at. He hands me a menu and I take a quick scan over everything before deciding on a classic burger with chips and a Coke. Jason orders a hamburger with salad and he goes up to the counter to grab our drinks. He places them down on the table.

"How are you finding it here?" He asks me before taking a sip on his lemonade.

"It's alright, it's really different," I say and he smiles and giggles at me. I smile back at him and smack his arm, "What?"

"Your accent's cute," he says with a smile and I blush.

"Ew, no it's not. I hate it."

"It's adorable now shut up. Look, food," he says signalling towards the waitress. The young lady places our plates in front of us and Jason smirks at me when she walks off, "that ass."

I pout, "go get her number."

"Aww Lana, you're not getting jealous are you?"

"No," I say bluntly and take a bite out of my burger.

"You are, it's okay. I was joking. You're the only girl I've found attractive in a very long time," he says making me blush. This is what I mean about feeling wanted around him. Either he's being serious or he's doing this as a joke just to fuck me over in the end like everyone else. Oh shut up Lana, just let this happen.

"Um, thank you so much," I say, still blushing.

AUTHORS NOTE

•Okay so I checked this yesterday and there was 24 views and now there's 70+. Thank you guys for choosing to read this shitty book, I appreciate it. And I know like 70 doesn't sound like a lot to many people but for someone like me to get that I honestly appreciate it so much (: thank you ahhh x