Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 13.

Jason's POV

"She will be okay, right?" I ask the doctor dealing with Lana, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"She will be fine psychically. I'm referring her to a psychiatrist however, and they'll be the one to prescribe any anti depressants needed," he tells me, taking my details down so he can let me know when they're discharging Lana.

"And she should be out tonight?" I ask, standing up from my chair in the small, dim, room.

"Yes, I will call you an hour before we discharge her so you can come and get her," he says and walks to the door to let me out.

"Thanks," I say quietly and put my head down and walk out of the door. I exit the building and walk to my car, unlocking it and getting inside, slamming the door behind me. I place my hands on the steering wheel. Could I stay with Lana? Is this how it's always going to be? I wouldn't be able to deal with this if I'm going to be accompanying her to a hospital every week. How bad was it for her for her to hurt herself this badly? 'Suicide attempt' the doctors had written on the paperwork they filled out for her. This one is for thinking Jason would ever care, her words repeat in my head and cause a tear to fall from my bloodshot eyes and onto my thigh, leaving a small mark on my washed out black skinny jeans. I couldn't leave her, I couldn't do that to her. I don't want to lose her, whether I am in love with her or not. Whether she was a friend or an enemy, she deserves to live. She's got so much to live for and she doesn't realise that in the slightest.

I can't do this to myself either, I have my own issues. But Lana, I've never cared about a single being so much before. I bring myself to push the keys into the ignition and I start up the engine. I press my foot onto the gas slightly, going slowly until I exit the car park. I pull over at a coffee shop to grab a drink and call Dan or Drew and see what they're doing. A distraction is needed. I switch the car engine off and lock the doors behind me after I climb out, walking into the shop and the scent of coffee hitting me in the face. I order a chocolate muffin and a Caramel latte. I take a seat once I have my order and pull my phone out.

I open my contacts list and click on Drew's name, hitting the small phone symbol to call him. The phone rings a few times and he answers before his voicemail does.

"You good?" He says down the line.

"Not really bro," I say, my voice barely above a whisper as a result of crying so much.

"What's happened?" He asks me, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Umm, one sec let me go and sit in my car," I say and grab my coffee, leaving my rubbish on the table and heading out to my car. I open the doors and quickly close them after me, putting my coffee in the cup holder next to me.

"You there bro?" Drew says.

"Yeah, okay so basically after I left yours earlier I called Lana and she was cutting herself on the phone," I say and he gasps.

"What the fuck man, is she okay?"

"I think so, she's in hospital. She passed out seconds before I got into her apartment."

"Damn, is she being let out soon or something?"

"She's meant to be later, they're gonna let me know. Can I come back to yours?"

"Of course man, do you want anything? I'll save a joint or two for you," he says and I hear him play with his snakebites.

"Thanks Drew, I really appreciate it, I'll be there in 10," I say and hang up. I pull out of the deserted parking lot. I don't bother to listen to any music, I am left alone with an empty road full of fog ahead of me and my own thoughts. The weather represented my mind at this current moment in time. Fuzzy, clouded, unclear if anything.

The drive to Drew's is short, and dead. So dead. I park right out the front so I don't have to walk to get back into it later. I walk up the few stairs and through the big doorway. I head right and straight into the front room and towards the small, usual circle of my friends. Seated in the circle are Drew, Dan, Lex, Cara and Sophie. That damn girl. She looked different, prettier. She had dyed her hair brown rather than white, and her eyebrows where a different shape. She'd also got her septum pierced but I can't tell if it was a fake ring or a real one. I take a seat between Sophie and Drew, greeting everyone in one go.

"Here you go," Drew says as he passes me a full joint and a lighter. I thank him and put the joint to my mouth. With a flick of the lighter and a deep breath, the joint is finally lit in my mouth and I welcome the burn in my throat with a small smirk. The joint is pulled from my mouth by a small hand and I turn around to see who and why.

"Sophie, what the fuck?" I shout, dropping the lighter and reaching back from her hand, shooting her a warning look.

"Is that really a good idea?" She asks and sounds concerned. I take a few more puffs and feel the effects of the drug on my brain before answering her.

"Yes, baby, it's a good idea," I say and continuously take more and more pulls from the joint. I finally hit the roach and put it out on the floor next to me. My eyes are becoming more bloodshot and I can feel it, my mind becoming more and more fuzzy. I can't think about anything, I can't remember anything. The weak yet powerful drug has taken over my interior and its hard to comprehend anything. But that's good, I don't want to think.

"Hurry up then," Sophie says.

"Huh, what?" I ask confused.

"Ugh just follow me," she says and takes my hand. I follow her up the stairs, down a lengthy hallway and into the room where I first spoke to Lana, and other stuff..

The door is locked behind Sophie and I am pushed onto the bed, she is on top of my and my lips try to find hers before I know it.

AUTHORS NOTE

Second update for today you lucky fucks c: I'm getting so into this and in the next few chapters my writing ((especially descriptions)) improve so much!
All your votes and comments have me updating this book like mad so make sure you keep it up and you could have a third update today ((I'm not kidding))

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